EFT - Surrogate Tapping
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Try Surrogate Tapping After A Break Up
What if there was a way to take control of your emotions that was almost free and easily accessible?
The emotional pain from a break up can be so stressful and debilitating. Feeling great again often seems like a pipe dream.
I'm not suggesting that EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - is a magic wand, but I do know from experience, that if you practice it as little as 10 minutes twice a day, it is one of the most dependable therapies for emotional health.
There is traditional self tapping for your issues and Surrogate Tapping to improve a situation around you, usually solving a problem that someone else is causing you that you want to heal. Surrogate Tapping is also used when you want to help someone heal from an illness.
The good thing is that you feel better right from the start. You don't even have to pay to learn if you can't afford to, because there is so much free information on the net - youtube is packed with "how to" videos.
The emotional pain from a break up can be so stressful and debilitating. Feeling great again often seems like a pipe dream.
I'm not suggesting that EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - is a magic wand, but I do know from experience, that if you practice it as little as 10 minutes twice a day, it is one of the most dependable therapies for emotional health.
There is traditional self tapping for your issues and Surrogate Tapping to improve a situation around you, usually solving a problem that someone else is causing you that you want to heal. Surrogate Tapping is also used when you want to help someone heal from an illness.
The good thing is that you feel better right from the start. You don't even have to pay to learn if you can't afford to, because there is so much free information on the net - youtube is packed with "how to" videos.
Table of Contents
Surrogate Tapping
A Great Audio from Jessica Orther and It's Free
At first I thought of Surrogate Tapping as slightly machiavellian.My experience using traditional and Faster EFT was very positive but I hesitated to try Surrogate Tapping because I thought it was about trying to change other people.
Great if it could be done, but it seemed a little devious!
It took a situation with a family member, that made me feel angry and powerless to make me try it. While I was trying to figure out what to do, I received an EFT newsletter with a free audio on Surrogate Tapping (by Jessica Ortner). Synchronicity is a wonderful thing!
When I listened to Jessica's approach I knew I had found my answer. I realised that the right way did not involve trying to change other people - just taking ownership of my reactions and honestly trying to heal the situation.
Within a week of tapping once a day, my whole perspective changed. When I saw this person again, I felt completely different and he somehow backed off without any input from me. I was sold!
UPDATE: It is now several weeks later and I feel as it the problem never existed. There is no tension between us and our relationship is relaxed and pleasant. Amazing! I still do a short tap before I see this person just to be sure, but I know it would be just fine if I didn't.
I find it such a gift to know that I have a solution to any problem I encounter - it's free, it's easy and it's effective.
The next module looks at how Surrogate Tapping could help with the various stages of separation and the emotions encountered by you or from your ex husband or partner.
The link below is to a free copy of the Jessica Ortner audio that she kindly agreed to provide. There is a short introduction video and just below that is a player for the audio. This page also contains a couple of other free EFT audios further down. Hope you find at least one of them useful.
Surrogate Tapping Audio - 2011 Tapping World Summit
Here is another take on Surrogate Tapping - Thriving Now
...and another source Proxy or Surrogate Tapping
See The World in a Different Way
More EFT Resources on eBay
Something you have been looking for?
Break-up Issues I Can Tap On
Try It On Everything
With Surrogate Tapping, it is your intention that counts. So long as your goal is to improve the situation and not look for a negative outcome for your partner, you are tapping with integrity and good results are sure to follow.
Whether you are tapping to heal the other person (or situation) or tapping on your own issues, EFT tapping promotes emotional health and from that platform, you can make better decisions about your future. Break ups are hard, but sometimes necessary to move forward.
I used to forget that I have a tool that takes away the pain and suffered longer than necessary. Now, whenever I feel that tightening in my stomach or my self talk plays a situation over and over, I remind myself much sooner to get tapping.
If you are unsure of what to say when you are tapping or what process to follow, there is a link to the free Surrogate Tapping video / mp3 above, or in the next module is a list of Tapping scripts for all types of problems that you can purchase from Brad Yates (from the eTappings link). There are lots of free goodies in that purchase and it is inexpensive to start with, as are most of Brad's resources
Whether you use Surrogate Tapping, traditional EFT or Faster EFT, I have listed a few ideas below of the many issues that you can tap away if you become proficient at this process.
Whether you are tapping to heal the other person (or situation) or tapping on your own issues, EFT tapping promotes emotional health and from that platform, you can make better decisions about your future. Break ups are hard, but sometimes necessary to move forward.
I used to forget that I have a tool that takes away the pain and suffered longer than necessary. Now, whenever I feel that tightening in my stomach or my self talk plays a situation over and over, I remind myself much sooner to get tapping.
If you are unsure of what to say when you are tapping or what process to follow, there is a link to the free Surrogate Tapping video / mp3 above, or in the next module is a list of Tapping scripts for all types of problems that you can purchase from Brad Yates (from the eTappings link). There are lots of free goodies in that purchase and it is inexpensive to start with, as are most of Brad's resources
Whether you use Surrogate Tapping, traditional EFT or Faster EFT, I have listed a few ideas below of the many issues that you can tap away if you become proficient at this process.
- 1Rejection or having to reject the other person
- 2Sadness
- 3Anger at someone else or yourself
- 4Fear of being alone
- 5Financial pressures
- 6Having to move / not knowing where to go
- 7Losing friends or family because they take sides
- 8Feeling a failure / thinking something is wrong with you
- 9Being single in a couples' world
- 10Fear of new relationships
- 11Getting into another relationship too soon
- 12Fear of repeating the same mistakes / attracting the same kind of partner
- 13Feeling stuck / unable to move forward
EFT for Yourself After a Break Up
Brad Yates - Tapping Though a Break Up
Sometimes it is better to heal your own feelings before you look at the other person in the relationship.
Try this video from Brad Yates. If you like his style, there are many free videos on youtube.
Below are some related titles from Brad and others that may be useful during this time - they aren't free but are very good and quite reasonably priced for what they are. I'm a fan of Brad's because of his laid back, easy style and his generosity with free scripts, videos.
They all take you to the same page where there are other free resources as well.
eTappings
Money Beyond Belief
Confidence Beyond Belief
Body Beyond Belief
Boldly Beautiful
Try this video from Brad Yates. If you like his style, there are many free videos on youtube.
Below are some related titles from Brad and others that may be useful during this time - they aren't free but are very good and quite reasonably priced for what they are. I'm a fan of Brad's because of his laid back, easy style and his generosity with free scripts, videos.
They all take you to the same page where there are other free resources as well.
eTappings
Money Beyond Belief
Confidence Beyond Belief
Body Beyond Belief
Boldly Beautiful
curated content from YouTube
More About EFT
Why It May Seem Confusing
I can remember my frustration 10 years ago when I first found EFT on the web. There were only a handful of tapping methods, but it has since progressed to a plethora of choices - and they all seem to work.When I help friends with EFT they ask the same questions. Maybe these answers will help you too if you are finding your way with EFT.
Question No. 1 - How do I know which meridian points should be tapped?
Don't worry - just choose what appeals to you and try different methods to see what works best. In the beginning I tapped on just about every meridian point on my body and now I use very few points - it works just fine.
Question No. 2 - It all sounds a bit strange when you talk about meridians and tapping. How do I get my head around it?
I suggest that you suspend disbelief and just try it. If it works, you will then have a better platform to understand the theory. There is an avalanche of information so that won't be your issue. It really isn't necessary to understand the theory for EFT for it to work.
Question No. 3 - How often should I tap?
As often as your schedule allows. EFT can only work with practice. I always make sure I tap at bedtime even if it is only a short round. It seems to work best for me. Some may find doing it first thing in the morning is best. Try to tap at least one other time during the day - maybe when uncomfortable feelings strike so you can remove them quickly and move on.
Question No. 4 - I don't like using negative phases. Isn't it better to say positive things?
The idea is to unblock negative energy in your body (a simple take on EFT!). Even if you think about it as owning your emotions and saying them out loud, that must be a good thing. My emotional pain came from trying to bury unpleasant things and covering up with a positive attitude. My subconscious knew better and continued to trip me up because I wasn't really addressing the problem. Once you have tapped the issue away, you can follow with positive rounds.
Question No. 5 - Can I tap on more than one issue at a time?
Most schools of thought suggest that one at a time is more effective. Keep in mind though that many issues overlap and have a similar root cause, even though you may be tapping on one thing at a time.
As you tap on the smaller issues, the underlying problem becomes more manageable and you gradually find that you are feeling better and acting differently. It really is wonderful to know that you have a sure way to build emotional health. It has been a godsend to me.
Question No. 6 - How do I know what to tap on?
The answer is simple - anything that is bothering you. That may be your own "stuff" or something that is happening around your relationships. When dealing with hurt, rejection or any difficult issues within work or personal relationships, Surrogate Tapping is a wonderful tool. Of course you aren't trying to change someone else with Surrogate Tapping - simply to change your part in it. More of that in the next module.
Question No. 7 - How do I know what to say when I'm tapping?
I always make sure I'm completely alone so I can say whatever I want and be as childish or petty as I feel at the time. Whatever you feel like saying is the right thing to say. I'd blush if anyone could hear me. There are so many free videos on youtube and the various practitioners offer their own examples - try a few different scripts and see what works/feels best. Then you can work out your own.
When you observe these styles you will notice that the EFT process usually moves you from the negative to neutral to positive. There are suggestions further down the page to help you start.
Question No. 8 - How long do I have to tap on something to improve the situation?
I find there is usually an immediate improvement but it can take persistence to completely rid yourself of long standing or complicated issues. The best tapping results happen when you tap at the time you are feeling the emotion. I often find I am in tears (or really angry) while I'm tapping if I'm hitting the right spot.
Sometimes it is difficult to identify the exact issue and then tapping can take longer to take effect because it may be linked to many other issues around it that need to dealt with. Keep tapping and watching what other emotions come up - then deal with those as they arise. EFT works only if you keep tapping.
Poll Module
What Works for You?
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Surrogate Tapping Links
Websites, Articles, Podcast
- The Three Step Approach to Surrogate Tapping
- Surrogate tapping can be one of the most confusing topics when learning Emotional Freedom Techniques. It can be difficult enough to accept that tapping on the body while tuning into physical and emotional issues can provide relief. It becomes a much more difficult leap to believe that tapping in the same way on our own body will provide relief for someone else.
- Thoughts on Surrogate Tapping by Gwyneth Moss
- More about Surrogate Tapping and why it works. Gwyneth Moss explores what surrogate tapping is and presents a three step approach. In addition, she explores how surrogate tapping can be beneficial for us even when we think we are doing work for someone else's issues.
- Podcast
- What is SurrogateTapping and How to Do It.
This is a podcast from the archive of http://tappingqanda.com. The archive contains dozens of podcasts on just about anything to do with EFT. Great resource!
Want To Know More?
Great Ideas from Amazon
One way to keep yourself motivated is to try different ideas and strategies. The good thing is that they all seem to work.
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Anything to Share About EFT?
Favorite Resources, Ideas, Comments....
EFT is mysterious in the beginning. We'd love to share your experiences - maybe it will help someone who is trying to figure it out.
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Margo_Arrowsmith
Apr 14, 2011 @ 5:41 pm | delete
- Lensrolled to all three of my EFT lenses
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Inspireume
Apr 15, 2011 @ 12:21 am | delete
- Thank you so much for that. I am a little new to this so will now investigate lensrolling and return the favour for your very good lens.
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