How to Take Care of My Mother (part 3)

This is important. People in this condition are prone to constipation. Although it's convenient not to have to deal with poop, an intestinal blockage could be serious. Part of the problem is that she can't tell you if she's in pain. If your loved one doesn't have a poop for two or three days, call her doctor.

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Get Ready
It's easier if you prepare in advance. Lay her on the bed. Before you undress her, get her chair ready. First, spread a beach towel over the seat and back of the chair. Put a wash cloth on the seat. She has a terrycloth cape that is like a bathrobe. Put that over the back of the chair and put a nice thick bath towel on top of it. Now you're ready to undress her and put her in the chair.
Warm up the water and wheel her into the bathroom. Lock the wheels facing the shower. Go in and get the temperature just right. Now suds up your arms up to the elbow.
Here's the challenging part. You will need to pick her up out of her wheelchair and transfer her into the shower chair. The soap is to make it possible to get your hands under her arms, which are stiff and immobile. You need to get in up to your elbows so you can lift her without dropping her. The soapy part is somewhat dangerous. Don't do it if you are not secure. And don't blame me if you have an accident.


Mother Should Be Bathed About Twice a Week.
It's usually best to wash her hair first and work your way down. I use Head & Shoulders shampoo and conditioner on her hair, and Dove bar soap on her skin. It's challenging to bathe someone who doesn't cooperate. She will lean forward to the point that you can easily wash her back, but not her stomach. She will keep her fists clenched tightly and her arms stiff against her chest. And she will kick you if she gets a chance. I know it's a struggle, but human decency dictates that she needs to be bathed. And caring for her is more pleasant when she smells clean.

What To Do If She Has An Accident In The Shower
I know it sounds disgusting, but if you can change diapers, you can deal with this. You really don't have to do anytihing special if it's liquid. This is how to deal with um, solids. The warm water probably relaxes her, making her more likely to let go. Tell her in a soothing voice that it's going to be okay.
Don't try to wash it down the shower drain. That's just asking for plumbing problems.
Step out of the shower and get yourself a wad of toilet paper. Carefully pick it up with the paper. Step out of the shower again and drop it into the toilet. You may have to make two or more trips. When that's done, wash your hands well when you're back in the shower before you go back to bathing her. After you've finished showering with Mom, that's the time to flush the toilet. Then you can sanitize any surfaces that may have been contaminated.

Finish Up
When you're finished and you've turned off the water, grab the bath towel off the chair. Close the shower door to keep Mom from getting chilled. Dry her off as much as you can. Then get the robe and put it on her.
Now the tricky part. You need to transfer her from the shower chair back to her wheelchair. I find it helps to tell her what you're going to do. She can't really help you, but you can tell she's trying to, and it's easier than having her fight you. Lift with your legs, not your back.