How to Take Care of My Mother (part 3)
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Thank You for Taking Care of My Mother So I Can Have a Day Off!
I love my mother, but sometimes caring for her day and night gets to be a bit too much. And she deserves a caregiver who is sane and rested, so I can be kind and patient instead of cranky and overwhelmed.
This drawing may look like an exaggeration, but last week she sneezed just as I held a spoonful of food up to her mouth. She sneezed up my sleeve. I had pureed food inside my sleeve.
Thank you for understanding.

How to Give My Mother Her Medicine

Mother takes a lot of other medicines, but this one is kind of tricky.
Mother doesn't even take this capsule anymore. But I wanted to use this illustration.
How to Put My Mother in Bed

Don't put too many blankets on her. If she gets too hot, she can't remove them herself. I usually cover her the way I think I should, and check later to see if her skin feels chilled or sweaty.
The adjustable bed is a great idea for someone who needs to sit up to breathe better. You need to make sure her head is pretty close to the head of the bed. Or else, when the bed bends, it will put her in an uncomfortable position. Try the bed yourself and see if you can figure out exactly where your bottom needs to be so you know the bed won't fold you where you don't normally fold. This will help you know how to position Momma.
Take a Break and Shop at My Cafepress Store.
Support your fellow caregiver!
A Word on Adult Diapers

Adult diapers can be rather expensive. Some store brands are better than others. I like to use the ones that you pull up like underwear.
There are also the ones that fasten on the sides with buttons or tape. I find these to be more difficult to position straight. But they are less expensive and maybe they work better for some circumstances, like changing someone without having to completely remove slacks.
Here is a tip for changing her pants. Don't pull them up too far. Don't give her a melvin or pull them up high on her hips or she could very well wet past them. They shouldn't be tight against her skin. Make sure that the padding in the panties is lined up properly.
I have noticed that people who are used to changing babies will try to hold her legs up and lift her that way. This doesn't work for an adult. You could hurt her back. And you probably can't lift her high enough anyway.
Instead, roll her side to side while you make the adjustments.
You may find that the teetle* mat she is lying on is wet. I like to use the reusable washable ones . Here's how to change it while she's still in bed.
(1) Get a clean mat and roll it up about half way.
(2) Roll Mom as far as you can towards yourself. Use your body to keep her from falling off the bed.
(3) Roll the soiled mat up against her.
(4) Place the clean mat under the dirty one with the unrolled part away from you.
(5) Now roll Mom away from you, over the rolls.
(6) You should now be able to pull the soiled mat out and the clean one will unroll.
The illustration shows this method. The green mat on the right represents the soiled one. Roll her over towards the left over both rolls as described above.
*teetle = urine
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One More Thing About An Embarrassing Subject
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How to Give My Mother a Shower
Somebody's Got To Do It.
Get Ready It's easier if you prepare in advance. Lay her on the bed. Before you undress her, get her chair ready. First, spread a beach towel over the seat and back of the chair. Put a wash cloth on the seat. She has a terrycloth cape that is like a bathrobe. Put that over the back of the chair and put a nice thick bath towel on top of it. Now you're ready to undress her and put her in the chair.
Warm up the water and wheel her into the bathroom. Lock the wheels facing the shower. Go in and get the temperature just right. Now suds up your arms up to the elbow.
Here's the challenging part. You will need to pick her up out of her wheelchair and transfer her into the shower chair. The soap is to make it possible to get your hands under her arms, which are stiff and immobile. You need to get in up to your elbows so you can lift her without dropping her. The soapy part is somewhat dangerous. Don't do it if you are not secure. And don't blame me if you have an accident.
Mother Should Be Bathed About Twice a Week.
It's usually best to wash her hair first and work your way down. I use Head & Shoulders shampoo and conditioner on her hair, and Dove bar soap on her skin. It's challenging to bathe someone who doesn't cooperate. She will lean forward to the point that you can easily wash her back, but not her stomach. She will keep her fists clenched tightly and her arms stiff against her chest. And she will kick you if she gets a chance. I know it's a struggle, but human decency dictates that she needs to be bathed. And caring for her is more pleasant when she smells clean.
What To Do If She Has An Accident In The Shower
I know it sounds disgusting, but if you can change diapers, you can deal with this. You really don't have to do anytihing special if it's liquid. This is how to deal with um, solids. The warm water probably relaxes her, making her more likely to let go. Tell her in a soothing voice that it's going to be okay.
Don't try to wash it down the shower drain. That's just asking for plumbing problems.
Step out of the shower and get yourself a wad of toilet paper. Carefully pick it up with the paper. Step out of the shower again and drop it into the toilet. You may have to make two or more trips. When that's done, wash your hands well when you're back in the shower before you go back to bathing her. After you've finished showering with Mom, that's the time to flush the toilet. Then you can sanitize any surfaces that may have been contaminated.
Finish Up
When you're finished and you've turned off the water, grab the bath towel off the chair. Close the shower door to keep Mom from getting chilled. Dry her off as much as you can. Then get the robe and put it on her.
Now the tricky part. You need to transfer her from the shower chair back to her wheelchair. I find it helps to tell her what you're going to do. She can't really help you, but you can tell she's trying to, and it's easier than having her fight you. Lift with your legs, not your back.
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Comments?
I'd like to hear about your experiences.
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darciefrench
Sep 22, 2011 @ 1:24 pm | delete
- I have been here before, returning with a blessing. This is fabulous work, thank-you for sharing.
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vallain Aug 13, 2011 @ 11:32 pm | delete
- I'm back to bless this page. You did a great job on it. I'll feature it on You've Been Blessed.
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VoodooRULEs
Jul 30, 2011 @ 9:33 pm | delete
- I'm just here being inspired by your patience and kindness. I don't have a whole lot to say. I'm awed.
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gottaloveit
Jul 1, 2011 @ 8:05 am | delete
- You, my dear, are a true Angel! I care for my 94 year old Mom but my caregiving is on a different level than yours. My mom is still able to get around but some of the stuff you document, gave me some ideas with dealing with her situation. Virginia Allain sent me your link - I'm going to add you into my senior citizen lenses. Hope your mom is well and love the illustrations!
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livingfrontiers Jun 30, 2011 @ 11:07 pm | delete
- thank you for sharing these tender and touching care giving moments. I love your strengths, and your courage for sharing your story. You are a talented illustrator, and I hope you find a day to rest and rejoice in your gift!
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by pilegirl
Carolyn Pile was the first artist in Sacramento to create animated sequences for laser shows. Besides her whimsical cartoons and laser animations, Carolyn... more »
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