How To Recover After An Emotional Affair

An emotional affair will have a massive impact on the person who has been cheated on. It can effect your entire view on life and absolutely destroy your faith in relationships. Feeling anger and resentment towards your spouse is certainly not un-common.

One of your initial reactions upon discovering the affair may well be disbelief. The shock of learning that the person you love and trust has been deceiving you and sharing intimate moments with someone other than you is likely to cause you more hurt and mental anguish than you have ever felt before.

Many people claim to feel like a 'walking zombie', have trouble concentrating and generally feel like an emotional wreck.

Certainly NOT.

A minority of people will question whether they were somehow at fault and begin to wonder that if maybe they had been more intimate and attentive towards their spouse then they would not have looked for intimacy with someone else.

For anybody who may be reading this and wondering if it may be their fault, I am going to be blunt, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! This line of thinking is so far removed from the truth.

Now it is possible that you could have been more intimate and payed more attention to your spouse, but this is a two way street, and if your partner felt that they were lacking intimacy and attention then they should have discussed their concerns and feelings with you, the person they made a commitment to, NOT confide in and seek solace with somebody else.

Almost all marriages will have issues at some point in time, but it is never an excuse for being unfaithful, and just because the affair may have been an emotional one rather than physical, it is still being unfaithful as your trust is surely being betrayed. And make no mistake, emotional affairs if allowed to continue will almost always turn into a physical affair anyway.

Yes it can.

It won't be easy, but remember that other people's relationships have survived affairs, and yours can too. There are 3 main stages that are necessary in order to heal the pain and survive an emotional affair.

Stage 1 is for the cheated victim.

You will have many negative thoughts and emotions that you need to deal with, such as feelings of self doubt, anger, depression. But these feelings need to be dealt with in order for your relationship to survive.

Stage 2 is to begin the healing process together.

This stage will not be any easier than the first one. You must however work on rebuilding effective communication with your spouse. Not an easy process and you will have lapses of negative thoughts, but this does not mean that it is a lost cause. Just remember that betraying someone's trust cannot be repaired overnight, it will take time.

Stage 3 is the process of rebuilding your marriage.

When you and your spouse are able to communicate again in a more positive sort of manner, as opposed to angry outbursts and accusations, you are ready to begin rebuilding your marriage. Trust will need to be regained and a strong base will need to be set with well defined, clear cut rules.

Be aware that there will be periods when you slip back to the first 2 stages, but this will happen less frequently over time and you should not give up on your primary objective.

If you are in the unenviable situation of just having discovered that your spouse has been having an emotional affair, trying to figure out what you should and should not do in order to save you marriage will be a daunting task, as you almost certainly will not have had to deal with this type of situation before. Therefore it is advisable that you reach out for all the help and guidance that you can.

It is for this reason that I encourage you to download Dr. Frank Gunzburg's FREE Report for a 21 Step Healing Plan, which will provide you with much more useful information than I can provide here on the steps that must be taken to save your relationship. Dr. Frank Gunzburg has more than 30 years of experience in dealing specifically with couples who's marriage's have been devastated by an affair, and he has condensed the vast knowledge he has gained into this free report.

CLICK HERE To Download Dr. Frank Gunzburg's 21 Step Healing Plan For FREE!

Wishing you success and future happiness,
Jessie Pearson.