Top 10 Symptoms That Inflict Emotional Distress

The reason I wrote this lens is because emotionally I was off-track. I kept going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread and wondering why things didn't work out the way I thought they would. Given time, I began to see my patterns of behavior and adjusted them to create a manageable lifestyle. Here's what I found:

The top 10 symptoms that inflict emotional distress are depression, anger, fear, addictions, anxiety, panic attacks, stress, worry, co-dependency and physical pain. They afflict our work, our parenting, and cause the body to breakdown. When our relationships are compromised by unresolved emotional pain, usually from childhood, on our part, it can lead to divorce and trouble in many areas of our life. Finances? Oh, yes. Career? Certainly, ad infinitum. This is a place to begin. Know that you will be led to the people and to the places that are safe for you. Healing is contagious! Start spending time with those whose lives are transforming themselves into a state of effective living. You will absorb some of it by association. It is so worth it to stop the pain! The purpose here is to springboard ideas. Trust yourself. If you say, "Ah ha!" then pursue the issue. Welcome. . .

1. Depression
This low-minded state is unresolved anger. Anger covers fear. Depression is anger turned inward. It also can feel like the thyroid and adrenal glands have taken a vacation. Check your body-talk. Can you get off caffeine (causes wrinkles and other undesirables) and replace it with adrenal support? Do you have food allergies causing you to feel puny? Find out! Things you love and don't suspect could cause your body to go tilt. Emotional healing is worth it. Here's the deal: do the work or keep your pain.

2. Anxiety
Anxiety is fear and self-doubt accompanied by abnormal apprehension about a perceived threat. Keyword here is PERCEIVED. Ah, goofed perceptions get us into more trouble! Anxiety is perceived danger: out of control and out of bounds. Symptoms? Yep. If I'm irritable, apathetic, showing aggression (sweet lil' ol' me? No way! lol) it's fear masking as anxiety. Here's an emotional tip: if it's depression, it's masking anger. If it's anger, it's masking fear. If it's fear? Right. Fear is masking unresolved emotional pain usually from childhood. Now where have I heard that before? Remember, love, grace and mercy.

We may have to hear things seven times before it registers! Count how many times a vendor's name is included in a 30-second commercial. Now add the visuals of the vendor's name to the voice-over in the same 30-second period. How many times total? Advertisers know how often we have to hear something to have it register. Emotional information is no different.

3. Fear
Fear is a feeling of anxiety caused by the presence of danger. It is a reason for dread from the old English word meaning "danger." Fight or flight - fear will cause us to do something or nothing at all, if paralyzed. It varies person-to-person, event to event. Either way, healthy fear is a good warning. Obsessive fear leads to anxiety, panic attacks and a variety of physical maladies. Where we run into trouble is: not letting go of our fear so that situations can be resolved. For example, the drowning man story, as told by a lifeguard, is poignant. When someone is drowning, the lifeguard waits until the victim quits struggling. Then, he or she can be pulled to safety without drowning the rescuer. Fear makes us do crazy things. I had a knee-jerk reaction to life situations and did not think my actions through carefully or research possible outcomes. My fear caused me to react, not respond.

4. Addictions
Our addictions become so big they fill the sky. Addictions are a compulsive need for, and use of, a habit-forming substance or activity. They are characterized by withdrawal if discontinued. The individual devotes or surrenders himself or herself excessively. Also, once started the outcome is not predictable. Addictions create a false sense of peace, power and self-control. They create a false belief in pain relief because the side-effects can be devastating to other areas of healthy living. How tough is it to break an addiction?

This story about Socrates, the philosopher from ancient Greece, shows the power of commitment. A young student asked Socrates "How do I gain the wisdom you have?" Socrates replied, "Come down to the river with me." When the student knelt down on the bank of the river, Socrates pushed the student's head underwater. The student struggled and struggled. Finally, Socrates pulled his head out of the water. The student sputtered, "Why did you do that?" Socrates asked, "What did you want?" "I wanted air! To breathe!" the hostile student replied. Socrates said softly, "When you want to learn as badly as you wanted that breath of air, you will be ready." Breaking an addiction is as tough as wanting that breath of air. Emotions like anger are addictive agents as well. Physical pain, fear, worry and any number of other symptoms can become addictive. They are seductive and will sneak up on you. Then, bam! You have a full-fledged addiction going around anger, for example. My father was a rage-a-holic. Who ever taught him to handle his feelings in a healthy way? Love, grace, and mercy here, we've all done it at one time or another.

Anyone who says, "I don't get angry," is in denial about passive-aggressive silence. It's lethal. Shunning from the community in the olden days produced death. It's no fun now, either.

5. Stress
Stress is an extreme difficulty or strain, from the Latin word to "draw tight." We feel our lives drawn tight around us. Prolonged stress can lead to chronic pain in the body. People in a constant state of stress (combat, divorce, natural disaster, personal illness or poor health of someone close, etc.) can become accident prone, have sleep and eating disorders or become restless. It's what we call in the classroom, "busy body."

One cause of my stress was what I call "Rattlesnake Fascination." A part of me loved all of the drama because it was familiar. I grew up that way, so why not now? It no longer worked for me. I then began to see how I would choose career or personal relationships looking through the glass at a rattlesnake hoping it wouldn't bite. Finally, I walked away from rattlesnakes. My life is manageable. My due diligence is in place before I make any decision. Things aren't easy. My husband is disabled and has good days and bad. The finances went tilt years 5 years ago when he lost his career. We had to reinvent ourselves in consulting work rather than in traditional, more stable jobs. It's pushed me thorough a keyhole. May times I've thought dark thoughts and said bad words. I've stomped down to get the mail and stomped back into the house. I had to find more effective ways to manage my stress.

6. Panic (Attacks)
Panic is a sudden, out-of-nowhere feeling of terror. We may be sitting at work or be in the grocery store. During a panic attack, our breathing may constrict, our heart rate increase dramatically, and we may tremble, feel nauseous or unable move. Our thinking may be blocked or foggy. Sound familiar? A startle-response from a loud noise or being touched unexpectedly may cause the onset of panic.

An ancient proverb illustrates panic for us: deep in the night, a spiritual master awakened and left his bed. As he walked through his home, his foot struck something soft. A snake! Perspiration instantly beaded his forehead. Death! His heart pounded and his hands shook as he lit a candle. Coiled softly at his feet was a rope. Sometimes, our panic attacks are based on goofed perceptions. All we need to do is change our view based on accurate facts.

7. Physical Pain And Emotional Distress
Have you ever had a quick-headache or the sweats? Shortness of breath or muscle aches in the neck and shoulder? Lower back pain? Good chance emotional distress plays a part or is the culprit here. Pain comes from the Greek word meaning "penalty." When we refuse to feel our feelings, handle our emotions in a healthy way, chronic pain can ensue, i.e., we pain the "penalty" for our neglect.

8. Worry
Worry comes from the Latin word "to choke." It does choke the life and enthusiasm out of us, especially since the perceived threats can be a) false, or b) nothing we can control. Worry is a by-product of codependency's control-issues where we think we are masters-of-the-universe. We suffer under the false belief that we are able to influence or change more than we really are. Emotional issues are like a big pretzel. They are all connected. Once we begin to address one or two, that effort puts energy into the others. Over time, they either resolve or dissolve. And, life can become very manageable.

9. Anger
Here are some anger-related disorders. Do you see yourself, children or loved ones here? Run to find the tools to resolve the anger. Untreated, the results can be fatal or extremely hard to live with: limbic system disorders, hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, muscle tension, chronic pain, back pain, TMJ, immune suppression (can lead to shingles, low-functioning adrenal glands, and other maladies), disturbed sleep and appetite, eating disorders, oppositional-defiant (ODD), obsessive-compulsive (OCD) disorder, cancer, depression, low-grade dysthymia (chronic melancholy or despair), post traumatic stress (PTSD), substance abuse, narcissism, borderline personality, antisocial personality, bullies, etc. Anger is an addictive agent. Build strength-of-habit around being calm; serenity is addictive, also.

10. Co-Dependency
Codependency is a delayed identity crisis. Developmental milestones missed in childhood produce emotional gaps in the adult. I call the feeling "Swiss cheese." I was full of emotional holes, and didn't know where they were, until I fell into them! No fun! I, then, had to do the work to fill in the holes of : denial, low self esteem, control issues, and compliance or "people pleasing."

The Language of Letting Go
(Hazelden Meditation Series)

Boundaries:
When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Anger:
Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way

Molecules Of Emotion:
The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine

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