Mind, Body and Soul: Emotional Healing

As we shift our feelings and thoughts to positive from negative, we become aware of the power that we feel inside. We are becoming aware of our soul. The soul is bigger that just our mind. It includes our dreams, our feelings as well as our thoughts.

I don't think that we can try to attain the awakening of our soul in any other way than by choosing to put ourselves in the presence of the God of our understanding. Many centuries ago, a wonderful monk lived and wrote "Practice in the Presence of God".

He taught me, centuries later, that all I had to do was practice presenting myself to my God. I didn't have to do anything else but put myself in a place where the God of my understanding could communicate with me.

Prayer is when I communicate with my God and meditation is the practice of listening to God. Although I have tried many times to maintain the principles of meditation to my life, I have never been able to do meditation in the traditional way of going to one place and commencing to meditate.

Instead I set aside time several times a day to "check in" with Him. When I present myself to God for His answers, I come in a spirit of peace and quiet. I rarely "hear" anything. Instead I sense directions or guidance from Him. If my direction is God's will for my life, the going will be easy. If I am trying to force something to happen, I will become stressed about it.

The difficulty is in getting out of God's way. If I think that I know exactly the direction of God's guidance, I have learned that it is probably my ego answering me. Another way that I use to understand God's direction is when I really want His direction to be a certain way, then I resolve to not do anything to make anything happen. This is especially hard when all that maybe needed is a phone call.
If I don't receive some kind of guidance, I realize that the answer may not be no, but rather may be later. This letting go releases great energy and feelings of belonging. "Let go and let God."

Emotional health is directly connected to our physical health. Choosing healthy ways (exercise, meditation, centering, and deep breathing) to deal with stress go far toward our overall health. The mind-body connection is the way your body responds to how you think, feel and act.

Some of the physical signs that your body and mind may be out of connection are chest pain, headaches, back pain, extreme tiredness, high blood pressure, upset stomach, weight loss or gain, insomnia, etc. Many of these ailments may be as well treated by learning how to improve your emotions. Learn how to sort out the following emotions: anxiety, stress and sadness.

Too many of us have learned as children to stuff our feelings. The only emotional growth comes after we accept our feelings. Feelings aren't good or bad or wrong or right. They are simply how we feel. Some people are helped by writing in a journal a short description of how they feel. After you accept your feelings, you can study healthy ways to deal with them.

Unfortunately, many people now believe that they have to continually "vent" all their feelings. In my opinion, vending feelings about the same situation does little good. If, once your feelings are known about a situation to all involved in the situation and everything stays the same, then learn new coping skills such as reframing to change the way you feel.

Remember, you can only change yourself-not others. If you still feel unable or unwilling to change-find out what your unhappiness is giving you. Holding on to old hurts only hurts us.

Welcome to Changemaker Family of Blogs. Changemaker is committed to the basic belief that each person has the opportunity for self-discovery and the potential for self-healing. As individuals, we sometimes choose paths that may be harmful to us. To get off that path and onto a new road takes exploration and experimentation.

The Changemaker Test offers education for self-discovery as we believe that the change within a person involves the courage to see (insight) and the courage to act (action). The test will teach anyone 10 or more labels about themselves.

Therefore, by using the labels to change themselves, the changemaker is the person who decides to learn and make the change happen.

In advocating the self-discovery model for understanding ourselves and others, Changemaker believes that the Changemaker Test can be used to help groups of persons interested in learning about themselves.

Healing begins when, in spite of all the negative self-talk going on inside a person, that person feels someone caring and loving them for no apparent reason. This unconditional love comes in spite of attempts to search for a motive.

The Changemaker Family of Blogs includes five blogs that each includes one of the basic topics from our main site, kathyberman.com.

1) answersbyemail.com -I wrote the Changemaker Test in 1990 and have only recently included it in my work. As a counselor and teacher, I realized that most of the self-discovery labels were only known by counselors. So I took the 5 major personality indicators and arranged a "test" that anyone can use to find 10 of his/her labels.

Therapy is the study of personality but it has been high-jacked by the mental health field to define mental illness. I say high jacked because most people need information/education and not therapy. I don't believe you can help anyone negatively. I have always pictured a person in denial as sitting out in the cold wrapped up in a thin blanket called denial. Many times people want to "help" by yanking off the blanket. How does that help anyone except the "helper's ego"?

2) changemakergroups.com - Changemaker Groups provide short-term specialized direction and solutions to help others to better understand themselves and us. With this direction and self-knowledge others will learn to implement techniques designed to lead to greater self-mastery. These groups are started by lay persons interested in self-discovery and helping others. Anyone with compassion for others and the humility to know that he/she doesn't have the answers for anyone's life except his/her own life.

Groups are the recognized best method for people to gain information and acceptance from others. One of the main underpinnings of AA is that all members are peers. Anyone has the opportunity to share and to be heard. The Changemaker Groups can be started at several free online community sites and/or in person.

3) cmlibrary.com -In 2005, I began selecting and defining the books I felt were the best for ten main topics developed in Changemaker. The topics are core (basic selection of 4 books that could be the foundation for life change), creativity, exercise, food, health, meditation, peace of mind, personal development, spiritual direction, and stress reduction. The core books are comprehensive and may be all the books someone needs. I have included several books I've used as my "textbooks" for my personal growth.

4) healingforyou.com -This blog will include all the topics needed for healing mentally, physically and emotionally. It also includes many links to tools to help you in your spiritual journey. I believe that each of us has a soul and our main life quest is the discovery and growth of our soul. I also believe that our soul is awakened by our creativity and that maturity is becoming that joyful, playful child that God created in us.

5) highenergygoals.com-I quit drinking alcohol in 1976, smoking in 1988, but I had gained weight. For over 10 years, I tried eating different ways with no weight loss. Then in 2006, I developed my basic weight loss plan. I lost 20 pounds which I have kept over for over a year. I am now beginning my Phase 2-20 more pounds. The High Energy plan includes food suggestions, exercise suggestions, and emotional and mental techniques needed for stress reduction. The plan is created by you to include the food, exercise, and techniques that you most enjoy. I know that a total life plan has to be enjoyable to be used.

I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive or negative.
I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
I have the right to determine my own priorities.
I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
I have the right to expect honesty from others.
I have the right to be angry.
I have the right to be uniquely myself.
I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
I have the right to say "I don't know."
I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
I have the right to be healthy.
I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
I have the right to change and grow.
I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
I have the right to be happy.

These rights have been adapted from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Eugene Bourne (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 1995).