Bedwetting - Creative Ideas to End Nocturnal Enuresis

The worst of the worst is to make your kids feel like they are doing something wrong. Yelling about wet sheets, asking why your child won't stop wetting the bed, these things don't help. They do a great job of making your kids feel like crap, but that's about all. And if that's what you're after by reading this, please go away. :)

What you can do is make your kid feel that this is not a major issue. Yes, it's something you want to try to prevent, but it's a problem you will solve together. Sheets can be washed. Waterproof mattress pads are available. And they will either learn to control their bladder at night or they will likely grow out of it.

When my children wet the bed, I first try to calm them down, as they are usually upset. They know this isn't normal, they know they're supposed to pee in the toilet. They graduated from diapers at night because they were staying dry all night, so of course they know this. After they're calmer, and they're done using the toilet, we strip their bed - together. All the sheets go into the bathtub until the next morning. The kids put on new underwear - we don't worry about new pajamas that night, as they probably need a bath at this point anyway. If the bed is wet as well, we let them sleep with their sibling, or with us. If not, we put down a fresh sheet, pile up the blankets, and go back to bed.

Just like any other night, just like nothing is wrong. Because nothing is. We'll talk about it the next morning, but for then, that's it. Sleep is more important than talking about it, and gets more accomplished, anyway.

Whatever the reasons are that your child wets the bed, consider that drinking fluids right before bedtime aren't helping.

Dinner in many houses used to be served at 5:30 p.m., when the father walked through the door. These days, with families working two jobs per parent to make ends meet, dinner times vary wildly. My parents regularly eat dinner at 9 p.m. Our family often eats a mere half hour before the kids are due to go to bed.

If you are able, and you are trying to fight bedwetting with your child, eat dinner as early as possible. This may not be easy for your family to manage, or even comfortable. But the earlier you eat, the easier it is to limit the fluids your kids are drinking close to bedtime.

When your kids are done with dinner, have them brush their teeth, and let them know that this is the last drink they'll be able to have that night. Unless they are sick and in serious need of fluids, they are not going to dehydrate after ten hours with no water. If they absolutely insist, resist. (Within reason. We aren't out to be cruel.)

The longer between their last liquids and bedtime, the greater the chance that they'll be able to completely empty their bladder and be dry come morning.

Imagine my surprise when I read that kegel exercises are not just for women! My experience, as an adult and a mother, is that kegel exercises are to help the pelvis after childbirth with various results, all good. But when I was a child, I had an aunt who suggested kegel exercises may help with bedwetting.

When your child is going to the bathroom, see if they can play a game with you. Ask them to try to stop peeing, before they're finished, three times. Asking them to control the stream is the easiest way to teach a child kegel exercises, and they're able to see the results of their efforts immediately. It might take time, but try to keep increasing the number of times they can stop peeing. Make it a game!

The benefit is that with stronger pelvic muscles, perhaps your child will wake without wetting the bed. Or, perhaps your child will wake when only a little wet, able to hold it until they can run to the bathroom. Small steps make great progress, with time.

Instead of asking your kids to hold it all night long when they've started wetting the bed might be hard. Oh, who are we kidding - it will be hard. But wetting the bed is harder, especially on the self-esteem, so here's another idea to try.

Get yourself a countdown timer or another alarm clock. With your child, set the alarm for two hours after your child's bedtime. Explain to your kid that when the alarm goes off, you're both going to go to the bathroom. Maybe your child won't have to go every time, but ask them to try anyway. Trying yourself might be a way to get them to go along with you. Resist their requests for a drink of water, and their proclamations that they don't have to go, that they just want to sleep. When everyone is done going, reset the alarm for another two hours, and wish your kid happy dreams.

This is not technique I've tried. I can see some problems with it - such as teaching your kid to wake up every two hours even when they've mastered getting through the night dry. Maybe they would just go back to sleep, but maybe they would start bugging you and keeping you from getting decent sleep. But I think when you've tried everything else, and nothing has worked, just about anything sounds like a good idea, and worth a valiant effort.

Okay, so this sounds an awful lot like bribery. Perhaps it is - but this is part of the system that really worked for me.

Talk with your child about the deal. A night without wetting the bed earns them $1. A night when the do wet the bed, no dollars. This doesn't mean you're angry, or mad at them, it's just part of the deal. Set a goal that they want to purchase with the money, and don't hand it over until your child has met their goal.

Why is this different from a chart with a bunch of different colored stars? Because every morning that they wake up dry, you're going to be putting a dollar bill somewhere that your child can see it, but not touch it. They'll be able to see their money pile up, and feel good about the reward they're working towards. Sometimes charts with stars work very well, but sometimes, money talks. Even if you're only taking green paper with "$1" written on it and piling that up, having something physically representing the end prize is a great motivator.

This is a system I have tried personally, way back in the 80's when it was probably cutting edge technology. I don't know for certain - I was a kid. But it was around then, and it was helping children avoid wet beds even then.

Not for me, though. It was one system that just didn't work. I don't say this to discourage you, I say this because not everything will work. You may have to try five different ways to get your kid through the night dry - but once you hit that system, no matter how crazy it might seem to everyone else, stick to it.

So the bedwetting alarm systems - they work by sensing moisture, and setting off a loud, obnoxious alarm. The one I've used had two metallic sheets covered in fabric. The top metallic sheet had holes, and when the (admittedly very mild) electric circuit was connected between the two by urine or water, an alarm would blare. Seriously, it was loud.

My issue? I can sleep through anything, and it didn't take me long to learn to sleep through the alarm.

These days the alarms are different. There are audible alarms combined with vibration alarms, and they can be used together or separate. There are pads, and there are devices that can be attached to a child's underwear. Read all the reviews, ask how each device works, and find the best alarm for you.

I actually just had this dream this morning. I was on some strange vacation trip, and a bunch of us girls were in the restroom. For some reason, I wasn't able to go to the bathroom. I needed to, but I just couldn't.

I'm old enough now that I ended up waking up and going straight to the bathroom. When I was a kid, though, the dream would have continued. I would have kept trying to use the bathroom in my dream, until finally, I would. And then I would wake up, with a wet bed, and that was that.

Thank goodness I was a smart kid, though. While I wouldn't remember all of my dreams, I did discover that I remembered my bathroom dreams. After one particularly frustrating night, changing my sheets, thinking about the damn dream and how it tricked me into wetting my bed - again - I decided I wouldn't let it trick me any more. The next night before I went to bed, I thought about my dream, and decided that when I next had the dream, I wouldn't let it trick me. Instead of using the bathroom in my dream (actually in my bed), I would wake up and use the bathroom where I was supposed to.

Well, I don't have to tell you that I failed the first few times. Many times I would remember just after I'd managed to go to the bathroom in my dream. Once or twice I remembered just as I started using the bathroom in my dream, and wouldn't quite wake up in time to save my sheets. But after a little practice, when I started dreaming about not quite going to the bathroom, I would wake up and get my happy, dry butt to the bathroom.

Is it silly? Maybe. Did it work? Absolutely. Would it work for everyone? Maybe not. I think lucid dreaming (realizing you're in a dream and controlling it) is a difficult skill to develop, and that's definitely what I was doing. I can't imagine how hard it would be for a young child.

But! Is it completely outside the realm of possibility? Absolutely not.

Talk to your child, and see if they can remember any dreams on the nights they've wet the bed. Asking as soon as they wake up is best, as the dream may fade quickly from their minds. Then if any patterns emerge, you'll know you can start trying to get them to wake themselves instead of whatever is occurring in their dreams.

This sort of feels like a crazy idea to be passing along, but I know it's not, because I know it works. So it feels crazy, but it's not. So give it a chance, and so will I.

You'll need your kid's cooperation with this one. Not just, "Okay, Mom, whatever," but "Okay, I'll give it a real shot." Nobody wants to wake with wet sheets, so if nothing else is working, it's time to throw yourself head-first into something else.

Before bed, have your child tell themselves that they're going to sleep lighter. That they're going to sleep lighter, and not wet the bed, because they'll be able to tell when their bladder is full and wake up in time.

That's it. Just tell your body that's what you're going to do.

I know this works. I do it all the time when I have something important to wake up for in the morning and I've chosen to go to bed too late (as I have been known to sleep through an alarm or two). I'll tell myself I'm going to sleep lighter, and I'll wake up almost before the very first alarm goes off.

And there's not much more to say about that. :)