Envy Vs Jealousy

In the most simple explanation, envy is wanting what someone else has. One can envy the person's achievements, possessions, relationships, or beauty. Anything of value can be envied by others.

Jealousy is very close in meaning to envy, and has often been used interchangeably with envy. Jealousy actually refers to someone being fearful of loosing something they already have such as a relationship, possession, or status.

It is a common practice to use the word jealous even when a person may actually envious, or to not know the difference between the two. I know I use them interchangeably at times, and really have to think about which word I should use when writing.

Everyone has experienced envy and/or jealousy at some point in their lives. We have probably all been on both sides of those emotions at one time or another. Since we have all danced with the green-eyed monster, it is likely that we recognize it as we feel the emotions or shortly thereafter.

Once we realize that the feeling of envy or jealousy have surfaced, or the green-eyed monster has reared his ugly head, then we either process the emotions and deal with them or we let them stew and grow.

Sometimes we deal with these emotions in healthy ways, sometimes not so healthy, and sometimes we don't deal with them at all.

I have found that there are 7 useful steps to taming the green-eyed monster and controlling envy and jealousy. I use these steps myself, and have found them helpful.

1. Acknowledge - Acknowledge that you have feelings of envy or jealousy.

2. Determine - Determine the basic reason you are jealous or envious, but don't get hung up on this one. If you don't know then just move on to the next step.

3. Understand - Understand that jealousy and envy are character flaws and can be changed if you are willing.

4. Decide - Decide to feel differently. Yes you can choose how you feel. If you don't feel differently, then pretend you do until you actually start feeling differently.

5. Find - Find the good things about yourself and focus on them.

6. Communicate - Communicate your feelings if you need to , but be careful during this step. Sometimes it's best to just communicate it to God in prayer or to your choice of a higher power.

7. Move on - Move on from this and don't look back. Forgive yourself for your short comings and put your feelings in the past.