Planning A Wedding - Tips and Timelines

Who Pays for What During the Wedding

There's no two ways about it: weddings are expensive! Paying for every detail is enough to drain any family financially! For new couples paying their own way during the wedding, the expenses quickly add up.

The following is a traditional guide to dividing expenses among the four major participants in planning the four main parts of the wedding celebration: rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. These are guidelines more than rules, and are intended to show tradition more than carved-in-stone etiquette.

The Bride's Family

Traditionally, the bride's family finances the reception dinner with all its facets: the food, venue, service staff (including tips), flower arrangements, wedding favors and any other miscellaneous expenses.

The bride's family also pays for many of the necessities leading up to the ceremony: these usually include the bridal gown, wedding invitations and save-the-date reminders, as well as the engagement and wedding photographs.

And last but not least, the wedding ceremony costs such as the photographer and videographer fees, the cost of the ring bearer and flower girl accessories, the transportation costs and bridesmaids bouquets are all picked up by the bride's family.

The Bride

Brides traditionally pay for the groom's wedding band, gifts for her bridesmaids, the bridesmaids' luncheon and the wedding day lingerie. Brides may also want to help out with accommodations for out-of-town bridesmaids.

The Groom

Following the engagement ring you've still got a few things left to buy. You'll pay for the honeymoon, the marriage license, and gifts for your groomsmen. Traditionally the groom also pays for the bridal bouquet and corsages for your mother and your new mother-in-law.

You'll also pick up the boutonnieres, ties, and accessories for the groomsmen, and finally the bride's wedding ring. Gifts for the ushers and for your parents go the extra distance to showing your class. You should also pay the honorarium for the judge, justice of the peace, or clergyman who officiates the ceremony, too.

The Groom's Family

Besides their own attire, the groom's family is responsible for the rehearsal dinner and all its details. Often the Groom's Family also picks up the bar tab at the reception.

The Maid of Honor

Bachelorette parties and wedding showers are the responsibility of the maid of honor. This includes all the details, top to bottom.

The Best Man

The best man is responsible for bachelor party, from the planning to the execution to making sure all the guests have a safe way home.

The Groomsmen and Bridesmaids

Most of the attire - for example, the tuxedo rental and costs of the gown - are the responsibility of the individual wedding party member. They also give a gift to the newlyweds.

You're engaged! Congratulations! But I'll bet you're thinking "What Now??" Here is a general time line of what needs to get done when.

Check out WeddingCram.com for a great list of checklists and interview sheets to help you along the way.

12 - 18 Months before the wedding

- Choose a wedding date. You may have a special date in mind, but both the ceremony and reception site must have the date available. Visit both locations - you may have to choose a date based on availability. The sooner you plan the better chance you have of booking your desired venue on your desired date.

- Start a wedding file. This is a file or folder to keep all your wedding documents, contracts etc... Organization is the key to staying sane during the planning phase! A good tool to have is a wedding planner. It is a handy book that you can keep track of you expenses and plans in. It also contains planning tips to help you along the way.

- Decide on a wedding budget. The last thing you want is to begin your marriage in major debt because of your wedding, so decide on a reasonable budget. You may want to involve your parents to be clear on what they intend on spending.

- Choose the style of your wedding. Pick what best suits your lifestyle, personalities and budget. "Formal", "Semi-Formal" or "Informal". This is your day and you should make it your own.

- Put an announcement of your engagement in the local paper. This is optional, but is a nice touch and memento.

- Hire a wedding consultant if you plan to.

- Select a ceremony location and reception location. Keep in mind that reservations are sometimes booked over a year in advance, so if you find one that you like, put a security deposit down to hold the date. (Always check the cancellation/refund policies first and have them in writing).

- Start shopping for a wedding gown. If you're planning on ordering a custom gown, keep in mind this can take up to a year to prepare. But even if you're just buying off the rack, alterations and final dress fittings can also eat up extra time. There are no refunds on wedding gown purchases, so make sure your selection is 100% what you want. You can also start looking for a coordinating veil and tiara.

8 - 10 Months before the wedding

- Select your bridal party and request their participation in your special day.

- Interview and Hire the following:
* Wedding Officiant,
* Reception Caterer (If your reception site does not provide a caterer, you will need to arrange for your own. Secure your date with a signed contract and security deposit. Find out about cancellation policies in the event you cancel or change your date.)
* Photographer and Videographer.
* Band or DJ
* Decide on bridesmaids dresses (Order all gowns at the same time to assure an identical dye lot.)

- Start a guest list. Put together your list, his list, his family's list, your parent's list and the final list.

- Sign up for a gift registry. Gift registries are a great way of ensuring that you get items you really want and can use. and makes your guests' shopping much easier. Be sure to choose items from every price range.

5 - 7 Months before the wedding

- Finalize the guest list. Determine the number of invitations and thank you cards that need to be ordered.

- Shop for your wedding stationery. invitations and thank you cards.

- Arrange accommodations. Some guest (such as out-of-towners) may wish to stay at a nearby hotel after the festivities. It may be a good idea to print up a list of nearby hotels with phone numbers for your guests. Some hotels let you reserve a block of rooms for your guests.

- Select your wedding cake. Meet and interview local bakeries. You may want to bring in an example of your invitation or a swatch from the bridesmaid dresses to give an idea of color or theme.

- Begin preparations for your honeymoon. Consult with your travel agent and discuss possible honeymoon destinations and prices.

4 Months before the wedding

- Book your florist. Secure your order with a signed contract and a security deposit. Be 100% sure of your selection, and know the refund/cancellation policies in the event you cancel or change your date.

- Shop for your wedding bands. You should do this with your fiance. You will both be wearing these rings for a long time, so you should both be happy with your selection.

- Visit your physician. Get your physical examinations and blood tests if required to obtain a marriage license in your state.

3 Months before the wedding

- Send out your invitations. Double check the postage required to ensure that the invitations reach your guests.

- Select tuxedos. Get all the groomsmen, best man and couple's fathers together. Measurements should be taken at the tux shop (to ensure a proper fit).

- Arrange for rental of items needed for your ceremony and reception. i.e. arches, candelabras, china, crystal, flatware, flowing punch fountains, and silver if necessary.

- Discuss finalized menu options and costs with your caterer. Confirm arrival and departure times, as well as any added extras.

- Arrange transportation/limo service for the wedding party to the ceremony and reception.

- Order Wedding Favors and ribbons (imprinted). Don't forget the extra's such as imprinted napkins, matches, and coasters.

- Begin any necessary counseling sessions with your wedding officiant.

2 Months before the wedding

- Choose your wedding music and share your selections with your Band or DJ.

- Select a location for your rehearsal dinner and make the necessary reservations & deposits.

- Schedule your alterations and final fitting for the gown.

- Schedule fittings for the bridesmaids and flower girl.

- Order address labels with you & your future husband's new name & new address. This adds a nice touch when sending out thank you cards.

- Confirm your order with the florist.

1 Month before the wedding

- Design your Wedding Programs. You don't want to do this too much sooner than this because things inevitably change. Check with where your wedding is held, they may print them for you, or you can design your own by purchasing program papers and printing them from your own printer.

- Apply for your marriage license.

- Have a final gown fitting.

- Visit your hair stylist, work on a style with your veil. Visit with your make-up artist also.

- Discuss and finalize details with wedding service providers.

2 Weeks before the wedding

- Call any guests that haven't sent back their response card. (there will almost always be a few).

- Give the caterer a finalized head count.

- Pick up your marriage license.

- Confirm rehearsal plans with your officiant.

- Complete reception seating plan.

1 Week Before the Wedding

- Organize your wedding day attire, try everything on & it fits perfectly.

- Confirm honeymoon reservations.

- Pick up passports (if necessary).

1 Day before the wedding

- Go through list and make sure all your bases are covered.

- Give rings to best man.

- Try to get a good night's sleep!

YOUR WEDDING DAY!

Enjoy - you've worked hard !! Most Importantly... If anything doesn't go according to plan, don't worry, your guests probably won't even notice.

AFTER THE HONEYMOON

- Have your wedding gown and flowers preserved.

- Write Thank-You notes.

When to Order
Aim to order your invitations when your guest list is final (about three to four months before the wedding).

How Many to Order?
Don't order the exact number of invites you'll need -- a rule of thumb is to get 25-percent extra. It's better to have leftovers than to have to reorder more later. Many companies have a minimum to order, which can get expensive when you just need a few. If possible, order extra envelopes to leave room for addressing errors. Note that you'll send one invitation per household (not per guest), but a child over eighteen living at home gets his or her own.

Information to Include
Names of wedding hosts/sponsors (usually parents), names of bride and groom, day of the week, date, time, address of the ceremony and/or reception, and RSVP info (unless you're including response cards). Some enclosures you may want to include: map cards, hotel locations for out-of-town guests, and RSVP cards.

*Time Saving Tip*Lightly mark (in pencil!) a number on an upper corner on the back of each RSVP card. Keep a numbered list with corresponding names. It never fails, someone sends the card back blank, or with just a number of guests without the names.

Go Formal
It is customary in a formal wedding invitation to spell out everything, including the date and time of the wedding. For example, the invite should read Five o'clock in the evening not 5:00 p.m.

Hire a Calligrapher
It's customary to handwrite your guests' addresses instead of typing or printing out computer labels. If you've got more guests than your writing hand can handle (or if the term "chicken scratch" applies to your penmanship), get your wedding party to help or hire a calligrapher.

Get a Head Start
When you order your invitations, see if you can take the envelopes home immediately -- or at least request that they be delivered ASAP if you're having a return address printed on them -- so that you can start addressing these (or having a calligrapher do so) while the invites are at the printer.

Postage
Go to the post office and weigh a complete invitation so you know exactly how much postage to put on each one; your mailing costs might be relatively high if you have lots of inserts. Having your invites returned for insufficient postage can throw your wedding-planning schedule for quite a loop!

Send!
If you're having a destination wedding or marrying over the holidays, send out invites early (10 to 12 weeks before the wedding). Otherwise 6-8 weeks ahead of time is sufficient.

Y

ou're ready to start shopping for your wedding dress. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

At first, bring your entourage, but do not buy. It's fun and helpful to bring your mother, friends or sisters on the first dress-shopping expedition. It gives you a buffer against an overbearing sales staff, and it's good to compare opinions. But no matter how set everybody gets over a certain dress, don't buy in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time to rethink and buy with a cool head later. The vast majority of dresses are non-returnable, so when you have purchased it, you have purchased it.

Think about your season and location. If you're having an outdoor wedding, you likely will not want a long heavy train to drag around all day.

Here are a few tips on how to buy for your body type:

Tall and Thin

-- Choose a ball gown with a strapless, fitter bodice
-- Bony shoulders or collar bones can will suit dresses with a higher neckline that are long and fitted
-- If you feel you are too thin for this style consider that you can set of your height and leanness with some delicate detailed embroidery or beading.

Short with a fuller, feminine Figure

-- Try an empire line dress which has a seam under the bust line and in the right fabric, the dress will flow instead of cling
-- A Knee length dress will also look good, the longer dress will add height and give you a taller silhouette
-- Sleeves should also be long but not too tight if considered.

Thick Waist

-- Conceal a wide waist with a boned corset or wear a decorative jacket that falls just below the waistline
-- Avoid fitted ballerina styles

Very Full Bust

-- To draw attention away from the bust choose a dress with a long bodice or cowl neck
-- Dresses with a natural waistline will draw attention to the bust area
-- Pick a plain bodice and avoid low necklines
-- Pick a detailed hem if you want to add a little something that you feel might be missing on the top

Full or Wide Hips

-- Avoid bustles and ruffles or tiered dresses
-- Most styles will look great but avoid tight styles around the hips
-- Princess styles that are fitted on the top and flare slightly to the hem will help disguise larger hips
-- Ball gown styles in simple fabrics will also draw attention away from the hips

Big bottom

-- Avoid bows or back fastening ties
-- Consider a light train from the top of the bodice or waist

Wide Shoulders

-- Wide straps will narrow the appearance of your shoulders or cover then completely
-- Draw the focus to a v-neckline
-- Wearing a sheer wrap will also soften the effect
-- Do not wear puffed sleeves, don't even consider them!

Short or heavy legs

-- Opt for a long dress
-- Sheath styles which are straight but not too clingy will add height

Maternity Bridal Wear Pregnant brides can still have the dress of the dreams.

If you are having a baby or have just had a baby then take into account the fact that you are going to have long day, so go for comfort when choosing what to wear.

Don't try to squeeze in a corset style dress in the size you used to be.
Your dress will have to allow for your changing shape and you will need to find a reliable dress maker for last minute alterations.

Styles that are perfect for the pregnant bride are Empire lines, Princess lines or A line dresses. These styles flare from under the bust. A Chiffon overlay can be added to soften the lines of your dress.

The most important advice - BREATHE!

There are so many resources to help you along your way while planning a wedding. Print off some checklists and don't be afraid to ask for help!

Before you know it the big day will be here! Don't forget to slow down and enjoy it!