What's Your Excuse?
Your dog didn't really eat your homework, did he? You'll need to come up with something better than that.
Find a good (or maybe not so good) excuse for calling in sick (or late) right here.
These excuses are all free-of-charge but if you decide to borrow one please be kind enough to replace it.
Think of this page as one of those penny trays they keep at the cash register.
Need one? Help yourself.
Have an extra one? Please leave it behind.
Your Dog Was Where?
Have you ever tried using a lame excuse to get out of work?
Know anyone else who did? Tell us about it.
Fetching blurbs now... please stand byOf course! I told my...
b says:
my friend committed suicide by jumping off a cliff... got a week off.
Posted October 06, 2009
Castlevania says:
I lost my eyeglasses, and can't see well enough without them to drive
Posted July 05, 2009
Alyson says:
Yesterday I was finishing the remodeling in my home and I was nailing up some 2 by 4's and the board with the nail just came back down on my foot and my head, I was knocked out a little while, and when I woke up all i saw was blood and passed out again, then my roommate called the ambulance and I went to the hospital and I received some painkillers and will be able to return to work tomorrow with a small bandage and will be fine when I get rested up. -100% NOT True.
Posted June 27, 2009
J says:
lol jk
Posted June 03, 2009
No way. Not me. But my friend . . .
Gabriella Bennett says:
I had my timetable in my hand and then Mahammad Ali came out at me and said give me your time table or i wil jump you and he threatened me to give it to him so i had to.(to save my life) and i didnt know if work was on today so i called jenny and she said YES its always on on a wednesday so i went to get my car but some loser stole it so i had to run and thats why im not coming.
Posted October 25, 2009
Bubbles says:
My friend had to go to the bathroom really REALLY bad, She had one of those #2 gotta go problems, but the big problem was she was outside no where near a bathroom.So she decided to fart to try to relieve some of the pressure. She farted but at the same time pee shot out, & went up her butt so she had to go to the ER and got her Byrocastrenyriaclosteringo system flushed, She farted day in and day out and pee never shot up again. Use this excuse & you willmiss work school ANYTHING for a week!
Posted August 29, 2009
nopantstees says:
Hm. I've heard a lot of excuses for people calling in sick. The best was that their neighbor's cat died and they were extremely upset and couldn't come to work. Horrible excuse.
Posted July 07, 2009
Mobile Alabama says:
My cat is sick and throwing up all over the place. I need to stay home with her to make sure she is fine.
Posted June 29, 2009
Mobile Alabama says:
A coworker went to a bar and invited a bunch of friends on facebook to come along. The next morning she doesn't make it in because she "left her headlights on all night" despite the fact that her car has automatic headlights. She refuses several offers for a jump start, saying a friend will be by soon to get her car running. She never shows up for work.
Posted June 29, 2009
And You Couldn't Get Him Out?
What's the most Imaginative Excuse You've Ever Used to Call in Sick?
Leave your all-time best excuse for calling in sick here and please do vote for your favorites.
Be sure to refresh the page after voting so your vote sticks!
what are you talking about - i was here yesterday!
just don't call in, show up the next day, and pret more...1 point
My dog declares a snow day
Malachi outweighs me so when he refuses to come in more...0 points
Are You Kidding Me?
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!
Best of the Web
- Imaginative Excuses for Coming In Late - AOL Find a Job
- I was locked out of my house in a towel. My zipper was stuck. I was planning your birthday party. My cat was feeling lonely so I could not leave her. My dog fell over, broke its leg and needed a cast.
- The Mother of All Excuses Place
- The Mother of All Excuses Place
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- Cupola offers galleries of cupolas, historic architecture, art, and picturesque landscapes. Also cupola FAQ, state capitol building histories, wordplay, and Autocad resources.
- Funny Excuses! An assortment of actual bizarre or funny excuses motorists use on cops to get out of tickets.
- Be amazed at the strange and funny excuses folks give to police officers to get out of a ticket!
- World View: Funny Excuses from Parents
- Funny Excuses from Parents These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.2 Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.3. D
- Funny Excuses For Missing Work ? Sales SpeakEasy
- From a recent survey conducted by www.AdminJobs.ie of over 6,500 Irish Office professionals, we asked for the most inventive excuses ever used or hea
- Funny Excuses
- My cousin in Florida is a podiatrist: He sent this to me and I thought it was rather funny so I thought I'd pass if along!!
REASONS THAT PATIENTS IN ENGL - 12 Amusing Excuses for Being Late to Work
- 12 Amusing Excuses for Being Late to Work
He Refused to Give Them Back?
Sick Day Excuse Generator
- Sickday Excuse Generator
- Sick call excuse generator. Help for when you need a mental health day. GetOdd, Not Even!
Handy Dandy Pocket Excuse Prompter
Excuses and Lies for All Occasions
Hardcover: 112 pages
Publisher: Knock Knock Books (July 1, 2008)
Language: English
Excuses and Lies for All Occasions (Lines for All Occasions)
Amazon Price: $7.95 (as of 12/14/2009)
Everybody lies. If they say they don't, they're lying. Scientists have proven that excuses and lies have played a role in our evolutionary survival. Six-month-old babies first deceive with fake laughter and cries. So the question isn't whether to lie, it's how. Excuses & Lies for All Occasions provides verbatim lines for the workplace, friendships, family, your own inner thoughts, unpaid bills, and more. With this pocket-sized prompter, you'll never contemplate the honest route again.
And You Don't Own Another Pair?
How to Call in Sick
- How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off - wikiHow
- wikiHow article about How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off.
- Life Hacks: How To Call In Sick
- We all need a personal day now and again Over at the always useful eHow they've cooked up some tips
- How to Call In Sick When You're Not, and Get Away with it - Associated Content
- How to call in sick when you're not and get away with it.
- How to Call in Sick without Guilt
- How to Call in Sick Without Guilt. One of the worst things you can do with sick days is use them when you are actually sick. Sometimes we just need a mental health day, or a break from the mundane daily routine. Your sick day taken in ...
I'm Sure It Was Just Adorable But . . .
What will happen if you try to use one of these excuses?
What do you think will happen if someone trys to use one of these excuses to get out of work?
My prediction:
rms, at 12pm on September 19, 2008 predicts:
I predict that if you try to use any of these excuses you might end up getting into trouble.
Reader predictions:
Fetching predictions now... please stand byHappySeasons, at 9am on December 7, 2009 predicts:
I think if you need an excuse to get out of work... then you should be looking for a job that "fits" you better.
Brookelorren, at 12am on November 19, 2009 predicts:
I predict that you'll lose your job, unless you work at home; then you'll have to do your job anyway.
Pastiche, at 1pm on October 31, 2009 predicts:
I'd be out of a job - I'm the boss of me!
LordMatt, at 7am on May 15, 2009 predicts:
Only those that missed thier calling as actors could pull many of these off.
Susan52, at 8am on May 7, 2009 predicts:
My boss won't believe me - because I AM the boss! :-(
Fetching predictions now... please stand by
Stop Blaming Your Dog!
How to Know when You're Really Too Sick to go to Work
- Work: Call in Sick or Go to Work? - Medical and Health Information on the Common Cold and Flu on MedicineNet.com
- A collection of articles about cold and flu topics covering symptoms, vaccinations, medications, and treatment
Don't Even Think About It!
This page is featured at Humor and Hilarity Headquarters
Visit now to find more funny pages!
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Humor & Hilarity Headquarters
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Welcome to the Humor and Hilarity Group! This group is designed for family-friendly lenses that are funny. Because this group has become so large it's hard to edit it - I will only let in new funny lenses if the lensmaster shows me one lens featu...
Parting Thoughts?
Or More Excuses?
Leave 'em here!
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- kievsalon kievsalon Nov 26, 2009 @ 4:19 pm
- Your lens is very nanoparticles me to cheer up thanks!
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- lasertek lasertek Nov 23, 2009 @ 7:52 pm
- Nice! This is a very funny lens. I must admit that I've tried some of these lame excuses but never got into trouble. Just got lucky I guess.
Hope you could visit my lenses as well. Thanks
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- spirituality spirituality Nov 22, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
- Great lens, but you knew that :) Just wanted to remind you that this is featured on the Humor and Hilarity Headquarters: http://www.squidoo.com/groups/humor_hilarity
It's now transformed into a lensography and I would love it if you could feature it here, or lensroll it or something.
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- Brookelorren Brookelorren Nov 19, 2009 @ 12:45 am
- Great job! I don't really have an excuse though.
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- Kapalbility Kapalbility Nov 2, 2009 @ 5:49 am
- I had a good laugh! Hehe. I am guity of calling in sic when I am not!
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- Pastiche Pastiche Oct 31, 2009 @ 1:29 pm
- I heard quite a few "I threw my back out last night" excuses when I was the manager ...
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- Jewelsofawe Jewelsofawe Oct 29, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
- What a great lens! I love the topic and the pictures!
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- Beautiful_GreenBeans Beautiful_GreenBeans Oct 20, 2009 @ 10:25 pm
- Oh, that felt good. Even the duels and comments are hysterical! Good to the last drop! I can't lie to myself, but when I did have a boss, any sort of "womanly problems" worked like a charm every time. Sorry fellas :)
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- Suzie-Shine Suzie-Shine Jul 7, 2009 @ 3:15 pm
- Super lens, brought a smile to my face and ideas noted for future use - well maybe.
Suzie
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- hlkljgk hlkljgk Jul 7, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
- teeheehee - cute lens. although, i do wish truly sick people would actually stay home instead of spreading their germies. :)
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- nopantstees nopantstees Jul 7, 2009 @ 9:04 am
- Great work, this is hysterical. I'll have to use it next time I'm thinking of banging in sick.
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- mrvardeman mrvardeman Jun 15, 2009 @ 3:53 pm
- Very funny! 5*s! Nice lens!!
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- Gripandflip Gripandflip Jun 8, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
- Great lens. How many have you used yourself??? Liked it a lot.
http://www.squidoo.com/Understanding-Men-2
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- Astrieanna Astrieanna May 19, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
- The dogs were especially cute. =]
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- Sadheeskumar Sadheeskumar May 12, 2009 @ 12:14 pm
- This is a very good lens. I have enjoyed the captions on each photos.
Good Work. Five * to this lens.
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- Xim Xim May 11, 2009 @ 12:17 pm
- I'm sorry, I can't come to work cause I died. It happens. I'll be in tomorrow.
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- roamingrosie roamingrosie May 11, 2009 @ 9:49 am
- What a funny lens! Made me laugh out loud! :)
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- mbrownauthor mbrownauthor May 9, 2009 @ 8:35 am
- Ha! Great excuses. Love the dogs!
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- Susan52 Susan52 May 7, 2009 @ 8:32 am
- Lensrolling this to my Bad Hair Day lens. Now, that's a good excuse if I've ever heard one!
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- likeapenguin likeapenguin May 6, 2009 @ 9:09 am
- HAHA! These pictures made my day!
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- Li-Li-ThePinkBookworm Li-Li-ThePinkBookworm Apr 30, 2009 @ 7:51 pm
- HILARIOUS HILARIOUS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the picture of the dog with the red tomato on his nose. I would have called in sick for that for sure.
Great lens!
LI Li
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- henzy henzy Apr 28, 2009 @ 11:10 am
- still laughing.. great lens. loved the doggy pics.
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- Treasures-By-Brenda Treasures-By-Brenda Apr 24, 2009 @ 7:43 pm
- I'm afraid the computer kidnapped me!
Cute lens; blessed!
Brenda
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- ALo ALo Apr 22, 2009 @ 6:54 pm
- That was really funny! [in reply to Evelyn_Saenz]
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- Wysiwigs Wysiwigs Apr 9, 2009 @ 4:37 am
- Fun lens ~ I don't call in sick when I'm not, but I did have to tell my Geometry teacher in the 9th grade that my guinea pig ate my homework (and he really DID, too :o) Thanks for the laughs!
Http://www.Squidoo.com/ConnieCrankpot
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- CatharinaE CatharinaE Apr 7, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
- "On my way to work I was abducted by aliens" - Very funny lens, I enjoyed it! 5*
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- kiwisoutback kiwisoutback Apr 6, 2009 @ 8:14 am
- One of my friends is the ultimate guru at calling in sick. I told him he should write a book on it, but hating work, he's too lazy to start writing. Funny stuff, it's been blessed!
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- poddys poddys Mar 14, 2009 @ 6:48 pm
- Thanks for adding this lens to the "Laugh Away" group on Squidoo. This will be a great addition to the group. 5***** for a very nice lens. I have also Favorited it, and Lensrolled it to my Humor lenses. I hope this helps to boost awareness of this lens.
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- poddys poddys Mar 13, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
- I would like to invite you to add this lens to the group http://www.squidoo.com/groups/laugh_away which has a rapidly growing collection of the best and funniest Humor lenses on Squidoo. Looking forward to seeing this lens there.
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- BusyQueen BusyQueen Feb 13, 2009 @ 11:50 am
- Thanks for sharing your funny photos, lol. It's well done. 5 *****'s
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- klieneine klieneine Feb 7, 2009 @ 2:12 pm
- Very Cute Lens- I love the pictures- and captions.
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- SolarFeline SolarFeline Feb 5, 2009 @ 7:01 am
- Great lens. Very funny. Thank God for my school age children - always there to give mom an out when I need it. They do come in handy - no better excuse than a sick child - even when they are in school :-)
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- awelldressedbullet awelldressedbullet Feb 1, 2009 @ 11:37 am
- Absolutely totally a hoot! Loved it Robin! Still laughing my widdle butt off! - Kathy
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- thrivingmom thrivingmom Jan 8, 2009 @ 4:26 pm
- Heh, love the topic. This is a funny lens. :)
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- Margo_Arrowsmith Margo_Arrowsmith Jan 6, 2009 @ 7:47 pm
- Well, I was going to say that the Squidoo excuse is the greatest....but then I saw the dog sleeping in the guys pants and I have to say.............
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- ElizabethJeanAllen ElizabethJeanAllen Nov 28, 2008 @ 10:39 pm
- I take my days. Calling in sick the morning off doesn't work well when you have classes of students waiting for you. Its easier to plan ahead. We call them 'Mental Health Days.' They usually involve a fictitious doctor's appointment.
Entertaining Lens
Lizzy
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- JaguarJulie JaguarJulie Sep 23, 2008 @ 12:31 pm
- Yep, I'd say my excuse would be that of a lot of other lensmasters -- I was Squidooing and lost track of the time! ;)
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- aj2008 aj2008 Sep 23, 2008 @ 4:10 am
- My excuse for being late: The heater for my tropical fish tank broke and I had to go and get a new one. It really did break but I don't think they believed me.
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- lakeerieartists lakeerieartists Sep 19, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
- My baby is sick.
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- lisadh lisadh Sep 19, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
- I was backing out of my garage and accidentally ran over my cat. (I didn't use this to call in sick, but I DID have to use it when I had a job interview because it was the real reason I couldn't make it. Fortunately, the cat was fine, but it took me about an hour to find where she was hiding. :-)
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- beeobrien beeobrien Sep 19, 2008 @ 3:55 pm
- When you have kids, there is no shortage of excuses.
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- RichLeigh RichLeigh Sep 19, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
- 'Migraine' was always my main excuse... I'd say it has always been roughly 50/50 as to whether it's true or not. Enjoyed the lens!
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- Evelyn_Saenz Evelyn_Saenz Sep 19, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
- I was teaching the kids how to tell time and I forgot to reset the clock.
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- The_Homeopath The_Homeopath Sep 19, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
- I'm not very original. All of my excuses involve unpleasant bodily functions.
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- adez7 adez7 Sep 19, 2008 @ 2:06 pm
- "The President told me to go shopping, and who am I to disobey HIM!?" :)
Photo Credits
All pictures on this page were found at Flickr.com through a Creativecommons.org search for commercial use photos.A Huge thank you to the following photographers for making their great work available.
You Don't Own Another Pair? appears courtesy of snuzzy
Your Dog Was Where? appears courtesy of elliottcable
I'm sure it was just Adorable appears courtesy of nao-cha
Are You Kidding Me? appears courtesy of olaf
And You Couldn't Get Him Out? appears courtesy of ruurmo
And He Refused to Give Them Back? appears courtesy of stevegatto
Stop Blaming Your Dog! appears courtesy of left-hand
Don't Even Think About It! appears courtesy of br0m
The Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing man to start yourself laughing. This group is for all lenses related to Humor, Jokes, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, Amusing Stories etc.
by rms
I'm Robin. I'm an affiliate marketer and one of Squidoo.com's Giant Squid Community Organizers and the Squid Citizen, Giant Squid Mentor which means I...
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