Good (and not so good) Excuses for Calling in Sick
Ranked #13 in Culture & Society, #320 overall
What's Your Excuse?
Your dog didn't really eat your homework, did he? You'll need to come up with something better than that.
Find a good (or maybe not so good) excuse for calling in sick (or late) right here.
These excuses are all free-of-charge but if you decide to borrow one please be kind enough to replace it with a good (or not so good) excuse of your own..
Think of this page as one of those penny trays they keep at the cash register.
Need one? Help yourself.
Have an extra one? Please leave it behind.

Your Dog Was Where?
Have you ever tried using a lame excuse to get out of work?
Know anyone else who did? Tell us about it.
Fetching blurbs now... please stand byOf course! I told my...
BusyMOM says:
told my old boss - a lot of years ago - that I dropped my car keys down in the sewer in the street. Thought it was wild enough for him to believe it. Ended up having a boring day at home!
Posted January 31, 2012
OhMe says:
I work for my husband and I told him last week that I didn't work when it is raining.
Posted January 21, 2012
gypsyman27 says:
Always, I felt (when I was younger) that I was indispensable. I was paid a lot of money when I was working so that's where I got that idea. See you around the galaxy...
Posted January 18, 2012
says:
Yes, I certainly have. Don't want to miss out on a good day of shopping when the work will still be there the next day. So many good excuses to use.
Posted December 15, 2011
No way. Not me. But my friend . . .
nancycarol says:
I've only called in sick in absolute emergencies...but then I always had such responsibilities that I really couldn't call in unless it was necessary. But I know lots of people who called in for a hangnail!
Posted January 31, 2012
KathyT says:
I can honestly say that I have never called in sick if I wasn't.
Posted December 22, 2011
fullofshoes says:
No... but I'm laughing about a few that were called in to me. :)
Posted December 11, 2011

And You Couldn't Get Him Out?
What's the most Imaginative Excuse You've Ever Used to Call in Sick?
Leave your all-time best excuse for calling in sick here and please do vote for your favorites.
Be sure to refresh the page after voting so your vote sticks!
what are you talking about - i was here yesterday!
just don't call in, show up the next day, and pret more...5 points
My dog declares a snow day
Malachi outweighs me so when he refuses to come in more...2 points
I had a rare case of temporary amnesia and didn't realize I was missing anythiing.
1 point
drug dealers were calling the house all night threatening the family
She said they had tried to bribe her husband and w more...1 point
There was a rat in the hall and I was too afraid to leave for fear it would attack me (..true story :)
1 point
I really want to come to work but my headache is making my feet act funny and I fell over when I tried to stand and broke my glasses and now the dog is growling at me and i had to lock myself in the bedroom.
1 point
my little gil lost her cute puppy..
that was lame..we stayed in to start house trainin more...0 points
I can't get my van out the snow is too deep.
It was true though and since I lived in a differen more...0 points
prime minister gave everyone a day off because we won the America's Cup
0 points

Are You Kidding Me?
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!
Best of the Web
- Imaginative Excuses for Coming In Late - AOL Find a Job
- I was locked out of my house in a towel. My zipper was stuck. I was planning your birthday party. My cat was feeling lonely so I could not leave her. My dog fell over, broke its leg and needed a cast.
- The Mother of All Excuses Place
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- Funny Excuses! An assortment of actual bizarre or funny excuses motorists use on cops to get out of tickets.
- Be amazed at the strange and funny excuses folks give to police officers to get out of a ticket!
- World View: Funny Excuses from Parents
- Funny Excuses from Parents These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.2 Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.3. D
- Funny Excuses For Missing Work ? Sales SpeakEasy
- From a recent survey conducted by www.AdminJobs.ie of over 6,500 Irish Office professionals, we asked for the most inventive excuses ever used or hea
- Funny Excuses
- My cousin in Florida is a podiatrist: He sent this to me and I thought it was rather funny so I thought I'd pass if along!!
REASONS THAT PATIENTS IN ENGL - 12 Amusing Excuses for Being Late to Work
- 12 Amusing Excuses for Being Late to Work

He Refused to Give Them Back?
Sick Day Excuse Generator
- Sickday Excuse Generator
- Sick call excuse generator. Help for when you need a mental health day. GetOdd, Not Even!
Handy Dandy Pocket Excuse Prompter
Excuses and Lies for All Occasions
Hardcover: 112 pages
Publisher: Knock Knock Books (July 1, 2008)
Language: English
Excuses and Lies for All Occasions (Lines for All Occasions)
Amazon Price: $4.82 (as of 02/17/2012)![]()
Everybody lies. If they say they don't, they're lying. Scientists have proven that excuses and lies have played a role in our evolutionary survival. Six-month-old babies first deceive with fake laughter and cries. So the question isn't whether to lie, it's how. Excuses & Lies for All Occasions provides verbatim lines for the workplace, friendships, family, your own inner thoughts, unpaid bills, and more. With this pocket-sized prompter, you'll never contemplate the honest route again.

And You Don't Own Another Pair?
How to Call in Sick
- How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off - wikiHow
- wikiHow article about How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off.
- Life Hacks: How To Call In Sick
- We all need a personal day now and again Over at the always useful eHow they've cooked up some tips
- How to Call In Sick When You're Not, and Get Away with it - Associated Content
- How to call in sick when you're not and get away with it.
- How to Call in Sick without Guilt
- How to Call in Sick Without Guilt. One of the worst things you can do with sick days is use them when you are actually sick. Sometimes we just need a mental health day, or a break from the mundane daily routine. Your sick day taken in ...

I'm Sure It Was Just Adorable But . . .
What will happen if you try to use one of these excuses?
What do you think will happen if someone trys to use one of these excuses to get out of work?
My prediction
I predict that if you try to use any of these excuses you might end up getting into trouble.
Reader predictions:
Fetching
predictions now... please stand byBig_Joe, at 12pm on February 14, 2012 predicts:
Some of these excuses may actually get by with some of the bosses that I know.... I also predict, that if any of my bosses see my prediction then I will probably get fired... :)
nancycarol, at 1pm on January 31, 2012 predicts:
It's amazing how many times some folks get away with the lamest excuses for being late or not going to work. Still, there does come a day of reckoning when the boss finally gets fed up.
gypsyman27, at 7pm on January 18, 2012 predicts:
You might get into trouble, it just depends on how much your employer wants to offend you. See you around the galaxy...
sorana, at 5pm on January 15, 2012 predicts:
It depends on whether the boss has a sense of humour or not ... LOL
skiesgreen, at 12am on January 13, 2012 predicts:
You would probably die laughing all the way to the unemployment office.

Stop Blaming Your Dog!
How to Know when You're Really Too Sick to go to Work
- Work: Call in Sick or Go to Work? - Medical and Health Information on the Common Cold and Flu on MedicineNet.com
- A collection of articles about cold and flu topics covering symptoms, vaccinations, medications, and treatment

Don't Even Think About It!
This page is featured at Humor and Hilarity Headquarters
Visit now to find more funny pages!
Parting Thoughts?
Or More Excuses?
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hermaniv
Feb 15, 2012 @ 10:27 am | delete
- Enjoyed this. I'm the boss at my workplace so I've heard my share!
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ptnjust007
Feb 15, 2012 @ 1:35 am | delete
- What a great lens! Very cute and funny!
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Big_Joe Feb 14, 2012 @ 12:23 pm | delete
- Very funny lens and I loved the pet's pictures... Great lens Robin.
We all need something to laugh about sometimes and your lens hits the spot.
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MelonyVaughan
Feb 12, 2012 @ 12:04 pm | delete
- What a great lens! Very cute and funny!
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CatherineMorgans
Feb 5, 2012 @ 6:43 pm | delete
- Great lens. Some really funny excuses. I'm a stay at home mom, but would love to use some of these.
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BusyMOM
Jan 31, 2012 @ 4:53 pm | delete
- What a fun way to take a break from work!
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nancycarol
Jan 31, 2012 @ 1:17 pm | delete
- HA! Glad I don't have to deal with these any more since I'm retired. I was the one who always answered the "sick" calls. Some of those excuses were a peach, believe me!
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Othercat
Jan 31, 2012 @ 12:19 pm | delete
- The day we got married, my husband didn't ask for the day off and he didn't call in sick. For some reason, 2 of his coworkers were no show/no call too. The next day when his boss asked them why they never showed up, John wouldn't tell him.
So a couple months later we were all talking and Johns boss started joking about the day everyone didn't show up for work. He was shocked when I told him Johns reason. Apparently he thought all the guys had gotten together and goofed off somewhere. lol
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srk4you
Jan 27, 2012 @ 11:59 am | delete
- LOL!, bookmarked for possible future use, haha!
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TheHealthCabin
Jan 24, 2012 @ 3:18 pm | delete
- I'm so boring i wouldn't be brave enough! Great laugh, Thank you.
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Psycho_Free_Zone
Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:36 pm | delete
- Thanks for the laughs : )
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jimmyworldstar
Jan 22, 2012 @ 6:05 pm | delete
- I've heard of some pretty bad excuses like I can't find my keys or my husband/wife needs me to stay at home because they lost their keys. Why make excuses, just go to work!
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OhMe
Jan 21, 2012 @ 11:56 am | delete
- Fun excuses for calling in sick!
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Kjemisk peeling
Jan 21, 2012 @ 6:40 am | delete
- This is so hilarious. Thanks for sharing with us.
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gypsyman27
Jan 18, 2012 @ 7:26 pm | delete
- I really enjoyed this, it took me back to when I worked for a living:~) I was really arrogant in those days. See you around the galaxy...
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sorana
Jan 15, 2012 @ 5:12 pm | delete
- Hilarious!
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WriterJanis
Jan 9, 2012 @ 4:28 am | delete
- Such a fun lens!
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pajnhiaj Jan 4, 2012 @ 11:48 am | delete
- funny funny, love them!
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jksterling
Jan 2, 2012 @ 12:20 pm | delete
- This story is from thirty years ago but still puts a smile on my face. One Monday morning in January I was awakened by a call from my boss.
He said, "are you coming to work today?"
I answered, "No, because of the holiday."
"What holiday?"
"It's Presidents Day."
"Oh, What are you president of?"
"Ah, nothing."
"Then you don't have the day off!"
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AshAffiches Dec 26, 2011 @ 9:42 pm | delete
- that was helpful. thanks
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Wordwinder Dec 24, 2011 @ 2:39 am | delete
- Thoroughly enjoyable lens. Fun at every click of the mouse button and every turn of the scroll-wheel.
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KathyT
Dec 22, 2011 @ 2:01 pm | delete
- Hilarious! Fun lens to read... Hope people don't REALLY do that though...
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tokyonights7
Dec 21, 2011 @ 3:08 pm | delete
- I called in sick today, and my excuse was completely legitimate. They still didn't believe me.
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jadehorseshoe
Dec 19, 2011 @ 2:22 pm | delete
- Cute and Clever Lens.
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alaskabound
Dec 16, 2011 @ 1:21 pm | delete
- I live in Alaska.... So I've had to call in with the following: "Yeah, uh, there's a black bear on my porch and I think the cub is nearby, I'm going to be late this morning...", "I got the cutest momma and baby moose eating my apple tree outside! I'll bring pictures from my window, but I'm not leaving until it's down the street a bit." "Hi, uh, I'm waiting on a plow truck because someone thought it would be funny to block my car in with a giant pile of snow while I was sleeping." "Sorry, my external outlet wasn't working last night and now my car is totally froze, already called the electrician they are on their way." ...Supervisors totally okay with these... I rarely miss work so the occasional "oops something happened, I'll be late but work extra" is ok. Course these were all backed up by pictures and in the case of the electric company fixing the outlet, receipts. :)
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CarlittoDunaway
Dec 15, 2011 @ 4:14 am | delete
- LOL and LMAO :) Awesome!
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fullofshoes
Dec 11, 2011 @ 3:46 pm | delete
- got a big laugh out of this lens, thanks. lots of fun reading this!
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KarenCookieJar
Dec 4, 2011 @ 5:06 pm | delete
- I used to work at an employment agency, so I've heard them all!
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misterjake
Dec 2, 2011 @ 10:12 pm | delete
- Great lens, keep up the great work. If you have kids or if you are in school and you want to get better grades, you may want to check out my lens and I always welcome your comments. Thanks.
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ekkoautos
Nov 30, 2011 @ 8:42 pm | delete
- I like this lens, it is so interesting
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rauspitz
Nov 26, 2011 @ 3:28 pm | delete
- Cute lens.Funny stuff except the dog really did eat my car keys...
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TEAhug
Nov 25, 2011 @ 1:58 pm | delete
- Hilarious lens, nice work~
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slappywalker
Nov 22, 2011 @ 1:55 am | delete
- This was too funny. We actually discuss the perfect way to call out at work also. Try to limit the detail in the excuse and make the call as quick as possible.
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ShoeCleaner
Nov 18, 2011 @ 7:25 pm | delete
- The best excuse I used was "The dog stole my glasses", but it was the honest truth. The new puppy took them and we spent hours looking for them.
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goo2eyes
Nov 17, 2011 @ 1:06 pm | delete
- I come to work even if I am sick as long as sickness is not contagious.
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Jennifer_Glennon
Nov 15, 2011 @ 10:54 pm | delete
- I love these!
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sousababy
Nov 10, 2011 @ 6:21 pm | delete
- Very funny lens and for many occupations, the occasional day off is beneficial (whether you are sick or not).
The thing is, we now have a problem (in healthcare, especially) of 'presentee-ism.' Hospital departments are so short-staffed that you are punished for calling in sick. This puts patients and healthy staff at risk for becoming ill. I have worked with a mask over my face when ill, since the entire team counted on me to come in. If I am so sick that I cannot come in, I'd hope co-workers and others would understand. Sometimes, however, people are not so understanding . . you have to look after yourself first, otherwise your work (and others) may suffer.
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stuarty987
Nov 9, 2011 @ 10:06 am | delete
- Really funny, cheered me up! Might not go to work tomorrow lol
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TransplantedSoul
Nov 9, 2011 @ 8:53 am | delete
- This lense gave me some good laughs!
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collettehrock
Nov 8, 2011 @ 1:47 am | delete
- I found this really humorous thank you
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Close2Art
Nov 4, 2011 @ 8:35 pm | delete
- great page!!!!!!!!!!
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jakayarose
Oct 31, 2011 @ 7:29 pm | delete
- this is great! :) I love it...
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beckyf Oct 29, 2011 @ 8:05 pm | delete
- Fun lens--and where did you find all the great dog photos? ;-)
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tenger
Oct 27, 2011 @ 10:27 pm | delete
- funny stuff. Taking notes as I write...
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HartmanSteven
Oct 27, 2011 @ 10:04 am | delete
- Funny stuff. Now that I own a dog I think of calling in sick every day to hang out with the little guy.
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ModernChakra
Oct 26, 2011 @ 5:19 pm | delete
- What a refreshing lens! The humor and sometimes not so subtle lack of common sense is hysterical. Some of those excuses were spot on as well... lost track of time Squidooing.... yup.
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Murvi56
Oct 22, 2011 @ 2:05 pm | delete
- A few to remember there!
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Rhidawn
Oct 21, 2011 @ 7:09 pm | delete
- i loved the dog pics lol. great lens
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creativeinc
Oct 16, 2011 @ 9:19 pm | delete
- Very creative excuses!
Enjoyed this lens immensely.
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ana_nimoss
Oct 11, 2011 @ 3:03 am | delete
- It was really funny! I liked such silly excuses! How come I didn't think of them before...
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Photo Credits
All pictures on this page were found at Flickr.com through a Creativecommons.org search for commercial use photos.A Huge thank you to the following photographers for making their great work available.
You Don't Own Another Pair? appears courtesy of snuzzy
Your Dog Was Where? appears courtesy of elliottcable
I'm sure it was just Adorable appears courtesy of nao-cha
Are You Kidding Me? appears courtesy of olaf
And You Couldn't Get Him Out? appears courtesy of ruurmo
And He Refused to Give Them Back? appears courtesy of stevegatto
Stop Blaming Your Dog! appears courtesy of left-hand
Don't Even Think About It! appears courtesy of br0m
The Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing man to start yourself laughing. This group is for all lenses related to Humor, Jokes, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, Amusing Stories etc.
by rms
Robin Svedi is a Community Organizer and the QuestMaster for Squidoo. You can keep up with her at rms on Squidoo. She's also the author of Eye Popping... more »
- 489 featured lenses
- Winner of 38 trophies!
- Top lens » Best Mother-Son Dance Songs
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