Seizures: The Feelings Inside

Let's start with the aura or 'warning'. For this lens, I'm only going to write regarding my own situation although auras can be different for various types of seizures just as we all have different personalities and different chemical make-ups. Auras can involve sight, smell, sound, sense. Mine only includes a vague sense of perception that is suddenly stilted for a split second. It's as if a haze suddenly came over the room, then immediately dissipated as quickly as it came on. That's the aura. At that point, I know I have a few seconds til the seizure advances. Usually I pull out the magnet of my vegus nerve stimulator to control the seizure and actually kill it before it advances. I also have an anti-anxiety medication in high magnitude liquid form that is highly helpful to killing the seizure if I can get to it in time. It will calm my brain's electrical stimulation so that the seizure actually never occurs. This, of course, is the desired outcome.

It is difficult to explain the seizure, but I can give clinical sypmtoms that I experience. I can also state what assists me and what does not. Let me state right up front that I have gone from having a seizure every week to ten days as I was growing up to having no seizures after my brain operation to presently having only minor breakthrough seizures in certain scenarios. It has been a major advance forward, and I hope that my explanation will assist the publid in understanding and education regarding epilepsy and seizures in general.

I can always tell that a seizure is advancing following an aura because I lose ability to communicate in speech. I simply cannot speak fluently although I can clearly think despite my inability to speak. I want to clearly point out that I can clearly think despite my inability to state myself. As either the complex partial or simple partial seizure advances, my fingers will start to fidget, and I will have seated myself in the closest place handy, usually on the floor or the bed if I am at home. If I am already seated in a chair, I will stay right there. I will also have alerted someone with my hand motion.

My former husband used to tell me that when I am in the worst part of the seizure, still complex partial (non generalized : not thrashing) my eyes roll to the back of my head, and I can feel my body stiffening. My seizures have lessened consideably since then, and are now only minor finger fidgeting, simple scratching of my cheek. I am aware of what is going on. I am conscious, and internally, I deeply want to cry I am so overwhelmed at how my body is reacting There have actually been a few times I have had a tear roll down my cheek although I am at a loss as to how to control my body. I cannot speak, I cannot see (figuratively). In major convulsions from the past, I Iiterally could not see things in front of my face, and I would not remember anything around me even though I could hear everything just fine. In fact, sound would bothers me significantly. Even in minor seizures, sound bothers me significantly. If you are around a person seizing, please keep things as calm and quiet as possible.

As the seizure winds down, for me about three or four minutes, my body relaxes and I can only rest right where I am. There is no strength left in my muscles. I have told others to hold my hand during the seizure. It helps me to know that I 'will come back to earth' at some point. Major seizures area very scary scenario to experience, and the contact with physical presence is helpful. The last time I had a major seizure, several months ago, I believe I nearly squeezed my friend's hand to death while the seizure was occuring, but it certainly did help having knowledge of her presence nearby.

I know that this is risky business putting all this information 'out there', but I hope it will assist in understanding the physiology and neurology of seizing. It takes awhile to come back from a seizure depending on the length of the occurence in the first place. I've had some I bounced right back from; others it took a few hours. Sleep is the best order of business for restoration. Most of mine are now very simple, only mere scratching of the cheek, and require no extra time rest other than ten minutes to recover. Seizures cover a vast spectrum in type and style, and I hope that my article will assist the public in understanding the broad range of seizures.

Here are a few pointers on being a support for the above scenario. I realize that most people don't have a clue as to what to do if they find themselves face to face with someone going into a seizure. I hope this will be a guideline.

I have already mentioned creating a calm and peacefull environment. Noise and hecticness should be avoided at all costs, and this also includes frantic panic scenarios of scared parties attending the seizing person. Try to keep a calm demeanor, and to simply lend a helpful hand. In this case, move things out of the way, make the person comfortable, and allow the person to lean into you or a soft spot if possible. I always want to hold onto another for the sake of 'knowing I will come out of it and back down to earth' at some point. I cannot tell how long the seizure will last, and it is just as frightening to me as it is to you.

I'd like at this point to share about what a dear friend by the name of Patti did one evening at church when I went into a seizure in the pew. She simply held me close as I subsided into her bosom while drooling, fidgeting, and moaning abit. Patti simply held me, and I imagine she was praying at the same time. There was no panic in that church service. The event is actually a vignette in my book IMPRINTS entitled "Love is Stronger". I like to point this chapter out as the kind way to assist another rather than rejecting and causing a scene of franticness.

Once the seizure has ended, you can only allow the person to rest, and recover from the storm that has occured neurologically. It is useless to demand questions at this time. I am resistent to questions, and am simply unable to answer them. Many has been the time when others have demanded answers of me when I was having a partial seizure. However, due to my lack of communication skill, I was horribly lacking, and was only irritated at the stream of demand for answers. What I really needed was peace and quiet, acceptance of the situation. Please allow for a calm environment.

There you have it: what it's like to have a complex partial seizure. If you have any questions, please ask. I'm an open book, and am highly dedicated to improving the public understanding about this disorder called epilepsy and seizure disorders in general. Thank you for reading.