Parenting in Face/Space, Online Safety Explored

To protect your child online, your first priority should be to protect his or her information. Do you want a complete stranger to know what your child's plans are this weekend? Or how about what school they attend along with a picture and a name? Does this sound slightly scary? It should, because unless you know what you are doing, the internet can be a dangerous place that offers lots of opportunities for less than honorable activities. This can be especially dangerous when the internet user is a teenager and is increased if your child is female. But do not let my warnings scare you away from allowing your teen to enjoy the tools and interactions that are available online. Instead, teach them to be safe by learning how to take precautions yourself.

1. Use a pseudonym



2. Always Read the Privacy Policy



3. Be Picky About How and Where You Communicate



4. Set Up a "Spam" E-mail Account



5. Do Your Research Before You Sign Up



6. Keep a Password Journal

Children do not inherently understand the implications of the web presence they create. But this is a skill they will need to learn early and use for the rest of their life. So, how do you teach them? Here are just a few ideas to help you start brainstorming. Ideally, you will take the time to cater the details of your parenting plan to the needs of your individual child/teen.

• Create rules of interacting online (i.e. no cyber-bullying)


• Discuss with them appropriate vs. inappropriate material (including pictures, messages, information, etc.) to post/comment (remind them that their future boss may be watching and the e-trail you blaze today may haunt you tomorrow!)


• Encourage discussion about their virtual activities.


• Depending on age and maturity, you might also want to consider installing some extra security software, but I would still encourage you to be open and honest about doing this- no sneaking behind your teens' back to spy on them!


• Require your child to keep a journal of online accounts and passwords and explain that it is only a safety precaution. Beyond offering reminders to them of their account information, it might also offer clues to you just in the dreaded event that something does happen to your child. I really hope it never comes to that, but it is best to be prepared just in case!

You may still call your child your baby girl or boy, but I highly doubt that they view themselves as such. It is highly possible that they will resist you suddenly showing an interest in their online activities if you have been rather hands-off up until now. So, instead of taking charge and imposing some rules that sound good to you, I suggest you take a moment to talk to your child. Ask him or her about their activities online. If they are very open about their online practices and they seem to know what they are talking about, they will probably not require very much parenting in this area. Just make a point to check in on occasion and encourage talks about the virtual world they live in.

The short answer is that both of these sites can be safe or they can be dangerous. The key is to carefully monitor your privacy settings and think carefully before you post anything in a public forum.

Of the two popular sites, I would say that Facebook is much more dedicated to protecting your privacy than MySpace. However, do not believe that the problems with MySpace in the past have gone unnoticed. The negative news from teenagers who used the site irresponsibly in the past has really encouraged the owners of MySpace to work on incorporating more privacy features and encouraging their users to utilize safer internet practices.

If you are concerned for your children in the social networking world, why not try out some of their favorite sites? After all, the largest growing demographic on Facebook right now are people aged 35 and up! And there are already lots of people of all ages on MySpace!

Here is a video on How To Set Up A Profile On Facebook...

and here is one for How to Set-up a MySpace Profile.

Both of these will be fantastic references as you dive into the world of online networking. My own mother just joined Facebook about a month ago and is loving it! She has found that she has several friends she graduated high school with who are on there and she's amazed at the connectivity that this younger generation is experiencing. She's also been able to connect with me and my brother better because she now understand what we mean when we discuss Facebook friends and applications and status changes, etc.

*I should note, however, that she did not intend to get on Facebook to spy on us, but to be able to communicate with us when we were away at college and not always able to talk much. If your intention is to spy, joining one of these networks may do more harm to your relationship with your child than it does good.

Now more than ever, teens are turning to the internet to make money. There are several reasons for this:

• You only have to be 13 to do (almost) anything online


• Lots of ways to get paid for what teens do already- writing, networking, surfing the net, or more creative pursuits that might fit with their specific interests


• It's the easiest job they can fit into their schedule, no matter how many extracurricular activities they want to join.


• Teenagers also are the biggest demographic of retail buyers- so some of them work online to pay for their high quality taste

The question remains, though, is it safe? Is it safe to blog or do other things online in the pursuit of making money. And, once again, the answer is a resoundingly vague "it depends". While I cannot remember a single case in the last ten years or so since I first got an internet connection at home, of blogging leading to internet stalking or any other extreme privacy problem, but that isn't to say that blogging is entirely safe. There are privacy concerns inherent in contributing your thoughts and ideas to blogosphere.

As always, you should be very careful and selective about customizing your profile and the personal information you supply. Allow your readers to view you as a real person, but don't give them lots of hints to help them track you down in real life. Also, try not to make yourself a target. If you can, avoid hot button topics that might encourage hate mail or provoke stalkers. While it may be fun to write about super controversial topics, it might also make you a target for a deranged extremist.