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Hilarious Collection Of Chuck Norris Jokes

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Funny Jokes About Chuck Norris

Everyone on this planet has heard of him. The beard, the tough guy image, and that wicked roundhouse kick. This lens lists different "Chuck Norris Facts" which you can visit from time to time to have a great laugh or two.

I myself admit that these satirical factoids have given me hours and hours of enjoyment ever since I discovered them four to five years ago. This is the main reason why I decided to collect the funniest jokes that I could find and put them on one list, where visitors could vote for their favorite "Chuck Norris Fact."

I have also posted humorous videos that I found on Youtube which I'm sure will add to your viewing enjoyment of this lens.

Origin Of Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris Shirts Worth Having A Look
Funny Mountain Dew Ad Featuring Chuck Norris

Vote For Your Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes
Entertaining Reads And Proven Bestsellers
Chuck Norris Biography!

According To People Not Named Chuck Norris

Most people believe that this fad started with Conan O'Brien's Chuck Norris jokes which he presented on his show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, back in 2005.

Because of the immense popularity of the Chuck Norris Facts, a lot of similar "facts" have been created for other celebrities such as Mr. T, AFV's Bob Saget, and Vin Diesel.

When asked about what he thought of the "facts" becoming an internet phenomenon, Chuck Norris mentioned that they were "weird but wildly popular sayings."

Chuck Norris Shirts Worth Having A Look

Most of the shirts have different Chuck Norris Facts printed on them

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Think of how cool and awesome you would look once people see you wearing theses Chuck Norris shirts. I wish I could tell you that these shirts were made with a top-of-the-line, indestructible, bulletproof cloth... they're not. Instead, what you get is an image of the most feared man in the whole world. Just the mention of his name would make any grown man cringe..... in agony. So, what are you waiting for? Christmas? St. Patrick's day? Thanksgiving? get your Chuck Norris shirts.... NOW!!! (or after you've read the rest of this lens)

Funny Mountain Dew Ad Featuring Chuck Norris

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The "Chuck-strich". This is another funny commercial featuring our favorite windshield-smashing hero. What's really funny about this TV ad is how those 2 kids went to all those trouble trying to avoid Chuck for fear that he might do something nasty because they made fun of him on their website. But what they didn't know is Chuck just wanted to.... (Check the video below to find out)

Vote For Your Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes

You Can Also Add some Of Your Personal Favorites That Are Not Listed Here

"Down Voting" was disabled To Prevent Chuck Norris From Being Mad.

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Hilarious Collection Of Chuck Norris Jokes

Funny Jokes About Chuck Norris

Table of Contents

Origin Of Chuck Norris Jokes

According To People Not Named Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Shirts Worth Having A Look

Most of the shirts have different Chuck Norris Facts printed on them

Funny Mountain Dew Ad Featuring Chuck Norris

Vote For Your Favorite Chuck Norris Jokes

You Can Also Add some Of Your Personal Favorites That Are Not Listed Here

1

Some people wear Superman Pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

2

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

3

Chuck Norris Counted to infinity - Twice.

4

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris STILL has more money than you.

5

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

6

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

7

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... 47 times.

8

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

9

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

10

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

11

Chuck Norris' doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

12

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

13

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win... Forever.

14

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

15

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

16

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

17

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just 1 card.

18

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.

19

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie, it is implied that he was going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

20

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

21

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

22

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

23

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

24

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch "60 minutes".

25

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

26

Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all time.

27

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

28

Chuck Norris once swallowed 350 sleeping pills. They made him blink.

29

The original title for "Alien vs. Predator" was "Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris."

30

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

31

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.... At night.

32

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

33

Everyone knows the speed of light%u2026 Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.

34

Chuck Norris wakes coffee up every morning.

35