Family life today

Rich or poor, we all have our struggles and daily set-backs. In today's society and Lifestyle most of us struggle to make ends meet. Gas prices go up and down like a yo-yo, food prices are creeping up on a weekly base and overall life is not easy to plan. What happens today may not be important tomorrow.
I am a simple woman, living a simple life on $1200 a month, taking care of my disabled husband and I am glad every morning that we own our simple home fair and square. Simple joy is found every day in little things; a wildflower that blooms in our window in the middle of winter or a wild animal coming to visit. Anything can bring joy and thankfulness to anyone's life.
Here, I like to examine with you why the life of so many people is a royal mess and why they do not seem to be able to come out of it. These are my ramblings and thoughts and if I can get just one person to start thinking and changing a little, my mission with this piece is fulfilled.
Fact most of the people I know that live that sort of lifestyle go deeper and deeper in dead, deeper and deeper in depression and deeper and deeper in a world that really does not have to be that way.
Money is tight, but most of the times we make do with what we got. Money gets real tight when one of our family members comes for help and I cannot say NO. Who really can say no if you see the need? And when is it we can and will stop enabling those that come over and over again to us for help? Fact is that you help and help and in the end the same people that came to you for help come back bragging about the new car or TV or X-Box they just got a month later, never to offer to pay back what they got from you when they had been in need.
I really do not mind helping someone in need. But when is enough enough?
A family member of mine came to me right before Christmas, asking if I could help out with their electric bill. I told her that I really could not, but I loan her the money if I can have it back by the beginning of the year. The answer was yes, the paycheck would be in by then and I can have it back. I stressed that this money was my electric money, budgeted for January and I really needed it back. "No problem" was the answer; you have it before your bill gets in.
Well January came and went and would you not know it, I was short of the bill money I loaned out. My calls and questions as of to when I would get the money back have been un-answered to this day, and it is mid-February now!
These are the kind of things that make me wonder about myself and why I always keep doing this, knowing only too well that I will be the one hurting for one thing or the other in the end. In this case, I am hurting for the very same thing I helped someone else with.
The moral of this story is that I will never ever help that part of the family again!
Materialism and dysfunctional families are a puzzle to me, how many expansive possessions does a family really need? We all have friends and family members that live beyond their means, just because they can. Their life is a mess, their bank accounts and Credit Cards are unbelievably in the red, they still live way above their means and their children running wild and getting feral, or else they sit in front of a game all the time and become socially crippled. They have no time for each other and then they are wondering what has happened. Does this puzzle you as much as is does me?
Do we as a family really have so little time for our young ones, for the rest of the family to separate ourselves in this way? What has changed over the years?
Most times they count on the fact that other family members or friends will help when trouble lurks over the horizon, maybe even their Church, will come and get them out of trouble and when the family members are getting few and far in-between, they wonder what happened. Not a big surprise though, there are not too many family members and friends left that do not think, act and feel the same way. Like I said above, Life is tough for everyone and most people try to stay ahead of the touch part. To most people giving and helping means to deprive themselves of something and that is just not acceptable to them. I say to most, because there are some people out there that will help until they bleed themselves out.
I am forever perplexed when someone I know lives beyond his or her means. Where are the priorities in people's lives? Is it greed that drives this society? Is it the fact that we need to look better than everyone else? Maybe it is, but what are we doing to our young ones? What are we teaching them by this behavior?

The School Of Hard Knocks has proven to teach me that a person cannot live life beyond the means they have, you cannot depend on the help of others countless times. Life will get you every time you try! It is a hard lesson to learn, but it is not an impossible lesson.

As we deal with a depression crunch, lay-offs at work and repo of our homes, we still want to be better than our neighbor.
Sure, we all know that spending is down overall, but so is the spending of our neighbor's. America's middle class is on hold at this moment in our existence, but as soon as there is even a little glimmer of gold on the horizon, we need to run out and get that new appliance, even though the old one was perfectly fine. It just did not have the ice maker or the water dispenser.
I am asking myself: what is wrong with the faucet and the ice tray's?

Commercials and advertising is way up and everybody is offering you a deal. But is it really a Deal? It is not a deal if you run out and trade in that perfectly good car for a brand new one that will put you in debt for a long time to come.
Your neighbor gets that new Honda, so you really need to get the new SUV to show him that you can do better than him.
Why do we have to be better? Why can we as humans not just be happy with the things we got? Why fix things when they are not broken? Oh yeah, I forgot: we don't fix broken things anymore, we throw them away.

Did you know that Refrigerators had been the biggest sellers at the end of the Great depression? Everyone wanted a Refrigerator. There was no stimulus package, but there was the war and most everyone was able to get a job and buy the things they "WANTED". The job's created by war had also been the reason American finances got a boost, a big boost. Spending flourished and so did the government. It was really the beginning of the end. The beginning of wanting more and more, of getting greedy and selfish; it is and always was the beginning of our mess today.

Wanting more and more seems to be the thing in today's society; fact is that has always been that way. The Jones' have always lived next door.
Did anyone ever stop and ask why? Did you ever stop and wonder what is important to you to have bigger and better things then your neighbors and friends?
Do you really need that up-grade on your Cell-Phone, do your 8-15 year old kids really need that fancy phone or do you really need that bigger flat screen TV? How many TV's does one need in a home? How much electricity do all those electric gadgets eat up anyway?
Will that matter at all?

Since the end of the Great depression and beginning of WW II, American Life Style has grown into a throw-away society, wasteful and greedy. No more return bottles; that is too much of a bother for us. I really like the argument that these returnable bottles are not the healthy thing to do. I am wondering how our parents and grandparents stayed alive living in this dangerous way.

It is not what we need; it is all about what we "want". We WANT that big car, we WANT that bigger house, even though we do not need it and with the big house come the big bills. We WANT, WANT, WANT!
We want to be able to have that bigger Car, maybe even two or three in the drive.
We want to have that bigger house with the two guest bedrooms, home office and entertaining space.
We want to be able to show off to our friends and families in any way possible.
We want to be the Jones's and have all that excess around the house.
It did not matter how many Credit Cards we ran up to the limits, we have to have all of the stuff and we still want more.
It did not matter that we mortgaged our home two and three times, as long as we got that new SUV that almost cost more than the home we mortgaged is worth.
That 12 month old computer is probably outdated and we want a newer one, after all we need that social circle we have built on the web and we want to show off all the fancy gadgets that came with the computer.

Reusing things are for the extremely poor and recycling only became fashionable when the big cities ran out of room to store all that waste. But what is getting recycled? Plastic Jug's and metal cans? How much more is going into a hole in the ground?
Sewing Machines and repairing torn clothing are as good as out of the question. Kids would not be seen in repaired clothes anymore. Parents and kids both buy torn clothing because it is fashionable, but the clothing in the closets that do need a button, a zipper or a tear repaired are most likely to go to the landfill.
Handing clothes down to the smaller kids is not acceptable anymore in this society, so we want to go and buy new ones 3 or 4 times a year. The perfectly good "old" clothes end up in a landfill. The teenagers need to have all the clothing that is "IN" right now and maybe OUT tomorrow. So here those clothes go: to the Landfill. That $40 T-Shirt you bought just 2 months ago is not what they are wearing right now, so it either clutters up space or gets thrown away.
Why recycle? Wal-Mart has got the throw-away stuff for cheap (and made in China) and maybe the Landfill has more room to throw all the stuff in. In ten years, they are going to use all this land anyway to build un-healthy houses right on top of the dump.

So really, how far have we come since the Great Depression?

Our kids get programmed to have the newest electronics on the market, they got to have that Cellphone that is faster than my computer and probably is capable of more features than my computer too. I-Pod's and other electronics are almost a must for them and the bigger and better they are the better it will be for the Teenager. Heaven forbid if he or she should have something cheaper than his or her peer's. Peer pressure is dictating the parent's wallets.
The $200 Sneaker is a must for every teenager to go along with the designer jeans and sweaters.
Hand-me-downs are a phrase of the past. No younger brother or sister will be seen in their older sibling's clothes.
They go to the landfill too. By April every year ¾ of the toy's that got bought for Christmas are in the Landfill. Broke or not wanted anymore. Kids get bored with them and need bigger and better things. So by time a Birthday comes around, that new and better toy will be available.

Is all of that really smart? Is all of that really necessary?

I wonder what took the fun out of play with the peers, street hockey or basketball in the front yard.
What happen to kids getting together after school in the park, in the field, at the local ballpark or anywhere they could?
What happen to the evenings spend with parents and kids out in the yard or at the ball field, having fun and exercise?
You still can buy a $8.00 basketball and $20 sneakers that will get just as dirty at play as the more expansive ones.
But oh yeah, I forgot, you got to forgive me, those expansive shoes are for sitting in front of the TV, X-box or other electronic appliances that entertain our children now so we do not have to bother with them.

I know, many of you will tell me that it is way too dangerous for kids to be out roaming the streets by themselves. Too many weirdo's and maniacs that could hurt our kids! Yes, you are right; there are a lot of strange things going on in our society today and we have only ourselves to blame for that. We could spend more time with them and I am not talking about in the same house or in front of the TV every night. We could make them aware of the dangers and wrong doings and by doing so we could ask responsibility from them. Do you as a parent really check the ratings on the games or movies that are in the hands of your kids? What are they learning from them? More important: what is it you teaching when you do not control your children?

What happen to simple back yard BBQ get together?
Is it a law now, that you got to have sophisticated Parties in an expansive home where the owners have to watch like hawks that the new carpet will not get ruined? Where is the fun in that? What happened to the days at the beach or in the park with the whole family? What happen with Dad or grandpa taking the youngsters fishing?
There are so many kids that are actually scared of the out-doors, that cannot be healthy!

It irritates the heck out of me to stand in line at the store, behind a passel of giggling teenagers that text each other while they are occupying the same 5 square feet. I know they have voices because they giggle and sometimes even talk to their phones. It irritates me even more if they text their parents who happen to stand right next to them. I wonder if they text their dinner plans and their dinner conversations at home?

Families do not eat together anymore.
Mothers hardly ever cook a meal; everyone just grabs what they want. Or what is worse, they find money on the counter to go to a fast food joint. It is no small wonder our children are obese.
They do not go to places together anymore. Parents work to afford the Life Style and Teenagers go to Florida on Spring Break by themselves. There are more dangers in that then there would be on a Camping trip with the whole family and in the end it would cost a whole lot less to boot.

Board games and family activities are almost a thing of the past. Everyone lives in the same house, but is bound and determined to do his or her own thing.
Individual rights are big in today's family life. Children get told in school that they are individuals and that they have the right to choose what they are going to do with their life.
Children do not want control; they just want the bank card that comes with the parents. And today's parents comply! I am not sure how many times I heard parents tell me that their children have the right to decide their own life! In my books, children have the right to do whatever it is they want to do as soon as they do not live under the same roof as I do anymore, as soon as they do not stick their legs under my kitchen table to eat their daily meals.
Come on people, since when can a child make the right decision for his/ her future? And what sort of life is it when parents have to coordinate their life around a stubborn 5 year or a 15 year old?
What are we telling these children by letting them walk all over us and everyone else?
Are we creating future grow-ups that cannot fit into any place because they cannot make concessions for other people? Are we creating a future that has no limits? There have to be limits, there has to be a checks and balance in place!

Working with Dad and Grandpa in the Family business is also out of the question; too small of an operation to be working there, not enough money for the youngsters, not enough glamour. And the famous: My Child can do better! Yes you right, your child can do better, but so could your small business with him or her working there.
What will happen to that Small Family Owned Business? Sold or just closed to let the young ones decide they want to become a Rocket Scientist or a Drug Dealer. Whatever comes first?
After all: Children in today's society have the freedom to decide on their own, the parents have the freedom to pay for it and go along with whatever there is coming.

I remember Sunday walks with the whole family and I also remember that I had to go, no matter what. Sometimes we stopped at the Ice Cream place and it was a good treat to get one cone with our favorite ice cream. That was once a week and it was a treat. Good memories come from those Sunday's and I wonder if the kids today can look back when they are older and have those kind of family memories?

When will it be that families will wake up and smell the coffee? People it is not too late to create a good live for us, but it will take a lot of work and determination to do so.