Fatherhood: The Critical Role a Father Plays in Raising his Daughters and Sons

About a week ago, I made a commitment as a father to do something with each of my sons and daughter that doesn't come natural for me.

I made an internal commitment that every evening before they fall asleep, I would look them in the eyes and say the three little words to them that I know they need to hear most from me...

"I Love You."

My commitment to myself (and to them) was that they would hear these 3 words at least once out loud **every day** from their dad's voice to their ears.

That means I have to be involved in their "get ready for bed" routine and can't be focused on other important things during that time.

Otherwise, they may fall asleep, and I would miss the window of opportunity to tell them.

Now, you may be thinking, "What's so hard about saying "I love you" to your children? Why is that such a big deal?! You do love them, don't you?"

Of course I love them, but it just is a big deal for me to say that phrase out loud to them every day.

Growing up, I did not hear these words a lot from my dad. It wasn't that he never said it. I just don't recall hearing it very often from him. Maybe you can relate.

So now that I'm a dad, I have discovered this same tendency in me. It just doesn't come natural for me to say "I love you" regularly.

But if there is one thing I want my children to remember about their relationship with their dad when they're grown, it's this...

"My dad loved me. He really loved me."

I want to model love to them. The kind of pure, genuine unconditional love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us.

I want to model love to them not only with my actions, which of course are critical.

But also with my words.

So I'm going to be intentional about saying "I love you" to each of them. Often. Every day.

I know some dads don't have any issue whatsoever with telling their children they love them daily. If that's you, great.

But I would venture to guess that some dads who read this can relate to me on this.

Let me know your own experience on this issue of saying "I love you" to your children. I would enjoy reading your feedback and exchanging creative ideas.

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With the exception of the Bible, I would have to say that this book Father Power by Todd Wilson combined with Todd's live messages when he speaks to a group of dads has had the greatest impact on me to date in relation to my own role as a father.

Father Power by Todd Wilson
Using his own personal stories, Todd shows us that inside every dad is the power to change the world. Sadly, too many of us fathers focus on our career, money, success, hobbies, and more, and fail to maximize our fathering potential.

Todd wrote this book to help us dads see the amazing influence we have in the lives of our children, and it challenge us to maximize our "father power" and raise our children without regrets.

Also, Todd is a dad with 8 children, so he's not just talking theory in his book!

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You Have What It Takes by John Eldredge

Every boy wants to be a hero. He wants to be powerful, he wants to be dangerous, he wants to know ... Do I have what it takes?

Every girl wants to believe that she is captivating and worth fighting for. She wants to know ... Am I lovely?

They look to you, Dad, to answer those questions. That makes you the most powerful man in your child's life. And as you will learn in this booklet, you have what it takes.

Reading to our children on a regular basis is a habit that all dads should get into. Spending time with our children must be extremely high on our fatherhood list. Spending time with each of our children is truly non-negotiable. Reading out loud to them is a wonderful way to spend time with them one-on-one. They have their daddy all to themselves!

Personally, I like to read at night during the "get-ready-for-bed" time range. I take turns with my 3 children depending on how much time we have and who is taking a shower that night.

My 7-year-old daughter and I are currently reading The Trumpet of the Swan. She also likes most any book that involves a horse. What is it about girls and horses?! :-)

My 5-year-old son naturally needs books that are more animated with colorful pictures and action. He likes animal books. We are currently reading together Jungle Tales.

My oldest son is almost 10. We are re-reading a book called Created For Work that we read once before when he was 8. (Yes, it's that good!) He and I take turns reading the pages out loud, and we have fun "fighting" over who read the most pages.

I also read the Bible out loud to my family, usually in the mornings. We are currently reading the New Testament book of The Revelation of John. My oldest son and I also read a chapter a day from the Old Testament book of Proverbs.

As we make a commitment to reading regularly with each of our children, we are expressing to them their value to their father by the time we're spending with them. And we are also instilling our values into their thoughts through the books we select to read to them. It's a win-win!