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Fatherhood: The Critical Role a Father Plays in Raising his Daughters and Sons

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Father Power - What Every Dad Must Know He Has

 

Whether we know it or now, we dads have a critical role to play in our sons and daughters lives during their childhood. We have a massive amount of influence to shape their lives for good. It's called "Father Power." We must see this, and turn our hearts to them, spend lots of time with them, and prepare them for adulthood. And we need input and accountability from other dads along this journey.

I send out an email newsletter several times a week to encourage fellow dads, give practical ideas and reminders, and teach ways that we fathers can deepen our relationship with our sons and daughters and prioritize our family.

Saying "I Love You" 

It's Difficult For Some Of Us Dads To Say To Our Children Regularly

About a week ago, I made a commitment as a father to do something with each of my sons and daughter that doesn't come natural for me.

I made an internal commitment that every evening before they fall asleep, I would look them in the eyes and say the three little words to them that I know they need to hear most from me...

"I Love You."

My commitment to myself (and to them) was that they would hear these 3 words at least once out loud **every day** from their dad's voice to their ears.

That means I have to be involved in their "get ready for bed" routine and can't be focused on other important things during that time.

Otherwise, they may fall asleep, and I would miss the window of opportunity to tell them.

Now, you may be thinking, "What's so hard about saying "I love you" to your children? Why is that such a big deal?! You do love them, don't you?"

Of course I love them, but it just is a big deal for me to say that phrase out loud to them every day.

Growing up, I did not hear these words a lot from my dad. It wasn't that he never said it. I just don't recall hearing it very often from him. Maybe you can relate.

So now that I'm a dad, I have discovered this same tendency in me. It just doesn't come natural for me to say "I love you" regularly.

But if there is one thing I want my children to remember about their relationship with their dad when they're grown, it's this...

"My dad loved me. He really loved me."

I want to model love to them. The kind of pure, genuine unconditional love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us.

I want to model love to them not only with my actions, which of course are critical.

But also with my words.

So I'm going to be intentional about saying "I love you" to each of them. Often. Every day.

I know some dads don't have any issue whatsoever with telling their children they love them daily. If that's you, great.

But I would venture to guess that some dads who read this can relate to me on this.

Let me know your own experience on this issue of saying "I love you" to your children. I would enjoy reading your feedback and exchanging creative ideas.

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(C) 2008. Receive regular articles like this one by signing up for the FamilyDads eNewsletter at http://www.FamilyDads.com

Required Reading For **ALL** Dads 

If you are a dad, these are books I strongly recommend that you read, even if you don't like to read :-)

With the exception of the Bible, I would have to say that this book Father Power by Todd Wilson combined with Todd's live messages when he speaks to a group of dads has had the greatest impact on me to date in relation to my own role as a father.

Father Power by Todd Wilson
Using his own personal stories, Todd shows us that inside every dad is the power to change the world. Sadly, too many of us fathers focus on our career, money, success, hobbies, and more, and fail to maximize our fathering potential.

Todd wrote this book to help us dads see the amazing influence we have in the lives of our children, and it challenge us to maximize our "father power" and raise our children without regrets.

Also, Todd is a dad with 8 children, so he's not just talking theory in his book!

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You Have What It Takes by John Eldredge

Every boy wants to be a hero. He wants to be powerful, he wants to be dangerous, he wants to know ... Do I have what it takes?

Every girl wants to believe that she is captivating and worth fighting for. She wants to know ... Am I lovely?

They look to you, Dad, to answer those questions. That makes you the most powerful man in your child's life. And as you will learn in this booklet, you have what it takes.

Dads: Reading To Our Children 

At bedtime, in the morning, or anytime!

Reading to our children on a regular basis is a habit that all dads should get into. Spending time with our children must be extremely high on our fatherhood list. Spending time with each of our children is truly non-negotiable. Reading out loud to them is a wonderful way to spend time with them one-on-one. They have their daddy all to themselves!

Personally, I like to read at night during the "get-ready-for-bed" time range. I take turns with my 3 children depending on how much time we have and who is taking a shower that night.

My 7-year-old daughter and I are currently reading The Trumpet of the Swan. She also likes most any book that involves a horse. What is it about girls and horses?! :-)

My 5-year-old son naturally needs books that are more animated with colorful pictures and action. He likes animal books. We are currently reading together Jungle Tales.

My oldest son is almost 10. We are re-reading a book called Created For Work that we read once before when he was 8. (Yes, it's that good!) He and I take turns reading the pages out loud, and we have fun "fighting" over who read the most pages.

I also read the Bible out loud to my family, usually in the mornings. We are currently reading the New Testament book of The Revelation of John. My oldest son and I also read a chapter a day from the Old Testament book of Proverbs.

As we make a commitment to reading regularly with each of our children, we are expressing to them their value to their father by the time we're spending with them. And we are also instilling our values into their thoughts through the books we select to read to them. It's a win-win!

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Reader Feedback 

Have a comment, feedback, or just want to say hey? Feel free to leave a blurb below.

Also, be sure to signup for the Family Dads eNewsletter at www.FamilyDads.com

Reader Feedback:

AshleyAnnRyan

I would love to have you in my Parenting Group!
Parenting on Squidoo. I'll even create a special category just for you!
Ashley
Hollywood Glam on a Budget

Posted August 15, 2008

TwoBrightHeads

I am a father to a single daughter. Very useful lens. Thank you. Keep it up!

Posted August 05, 2008

Norma_Budden

Excellent lens!

I stumbled upon your lens while looking for a lens to promote along the lines of my own on the importance of spoken parental love. I've given you 5 stars, favored your lens, and will be recommending it from my own lens.

Thanks.

Posted May 19, 2008

DebtDad

Saying "I love you" to my daughter comes quite naturally. I can understand the power of that simple phrase. Last year, as my mother was dying, it became the last phrase that she was able to say. Sometimes, that crosses my mind now as I kiss my little one goodnight. Even when times are tough and I feel like I could do so much more as a father, I feel that I am laying a foundation of simple trust and love with this strong phrase.

Posted May 14, 2008

Dean_Geyer

5 Stars from me...My wife and I work really hard to be the best parents we can be. I wouldn't be a good dad without my wife helping me... see the lens my daughter and I have done about her learning disability at Hey Teacher My Child Can't Read

Posted May 11, 2008

BABYKITTY

Great lens! Your kids are very lucky to have a Dad like you!!

Posted May 09, 2008

funwithtrains

Nice Lens! 5 stars and a favorite from me! Please visit my Marklin Trains lens.

Posted May 07, 2008

beachbum_gabby

like father, like son when they call it. ;) Salute to all the fathers! 5*

Posted May 06, 2008

Evelyn_Saenz

What a great Dad you are!

Great Lens! 5 stars and favored!
Fancy Nancy loves your lens so much that she is sending you virtual Adjectives. To help you express your love.

Posted May 06, 2008

ElizabethJeanAllen

Great Lens! I wish more dad's understood their roll in their child's life.
5 stars and lensroll to One Penny... Two Penny... Three Penny... Four...
Liz

Posted May 03, 2008

 
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About FamilyDads

I'm a writer/ blogger and cyberpreneur. I am blessed with a beautiful, loving wife and 3 children ages 9, 7, and 5. Our family lives in Atlanta, GA where we homeschool.

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