How my brother stole my mothers money

SUMMARY

As of 1986, I have a mother and father living in a two story home. XX is renting and working in the city. I'm flying around New England.

In 1987, my father passes away.

My mother is doing just fine on her own until 2001. My mother decides to sell the family home (can no longer handle stairs). Proceeds go into a new home for her and XX (she'll live downstairs). Both names are on the deed and XX takes a mortgage on the balance.

Also in 2001, I move my family about two hours away.

In 2001 she nearly dies due to respiratory arrest. She slowly recovers. XX probably starts opening her mail and writing checks from her account to pay her bills.

Over the next several years, my mothers health deteriorates. She's hospitalized again for respiratory arrest. Her vision is suffering due to macular degeneration.

Also during these years, XX gets into debt. I have no idea why or how much. All I know is one or more debt collectors are after him (phone calls to mothers phone, notes on car wiper, personal appearances and of course mail).

About 2006, he's dating a guy named Mark. Maybe it's early 2007 they break-up. (In my blog I go into detail, but basically, I think it's here that things go downhill. I believe something happens about this time to send XX over the edge. Maybe he was introduced to drugs or he's involved with a cover-up and being bribed. I'm tracking down Mark to get answers).

Oct 2006 - my mothers accounts are frozen by debt collectors because XX was also on the accounts. She clears it up, and opens new accounts without his name. As time goes on (my mother becoming blind), XX will start paying his bills from her account. He signs her name on checks.

Dec 2006 - I deposit $15K into my moms savings account from stocks I found (from my father).

July 2007 - XX in hospital with mysterious heart problem. Almost kills him. I'm appointed Power of Attorney for my mother. From here on, my mother is blind. XX is opening all her mail, writing out checks (signing her name) and using her credit and ATM cards.

Early 2009 - three financial institutions that my mother uses merge together (banking, insurance and credit card). With a new ATM card, XX has access to my mothers savings account.

July 2009? - I discover XX has an alias name. I believe he took advantage of his position as a financial officer to create the alias and is using it to obtain government ID's in order to open financial accounts.

Aug 2009 - I discover $4K has disappeared from her savings in a few months. I close the account.

Aug 2009 - I come face to face with Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Due to concern for my mothers well-being (and my safety), I give the money back, depositing into her checking account. I also open a new credit card to replace one I closed.

Oct 2009 - her account is missing money. I estimate that a minimum of $15K is missing and the actual figure is probably well over $20K. I discover he has at least $30K in outstanding judgments.

HIGHLIGHTS

XX and mother are both on the deed

XX opens her mail

XX can't pay bills on time. Cable and electricity have both been been shut down at least once.

XX is signing her name to her checks

XX is freely using her credit and ATM cards

XX is paying his bills, some exorbitant in my opinion, from her account

XX has an alias name (and using to fraudulently obtain government ID's)

XX is pursued by one or more debt collectors and a New York City Marshall

XX has at least $30K in outstanding judgments.

XX may have mental illness, perhaps bipolar or he's affected by drugs/medication. In any event, he's unstable.

I'm sure the bank would be very unhappy to hear he's signing her checks. I'm not sure what would happen if they pulled the ATM tapes. What about all the recent transactions at other banks? It's as if he's trying to be evasive.

When my mother dies, I assume the house becomes his.

When the house becomes his, it wouldn't surprise me if someone puts a lien on it. I'll never know.

In NY, since he's living in the same house with her, doesn't he need his own insurance? I doubt he has any. I think he's driving around thinking he's OK as my mother has auto insurance.

I'm wondering if I can get into trouble since I was POA and was aware of questionable transactions. Consideration has to be given to the fact I'm concerned for my mothers well-being, even if that means she goes broke.

I believe, legally, there is no crime (theft) since my mother would never report it as such. In other words, even though she knows he's stealing, she would never admit it to law enforcement. I have no proof of theft, it's all circumstantial.

I found my mothers will. There's a part where it identifies me as the executor. I drew a line through my name and wrote refused. I know by doing that I voided the will. XX won't know until he produces it somewhere. The point was to separate myself from the entire mess. I can not let my finances and personal life get contaminated. XX will have to go through probate if there's any money left. She really doesn't need a will as there are no assets. The house will go to him. Insurance money is already targeted to us. Her bank account is almost exhausted. There is no reason at all for me to get involved and to advise all parties of her death. XX can run the show. Maybe he'll really screw up and end up in jail. Can I get that lucky?

Would the IRS be interested in the money he's spending like it's his?

Can XX get fired from his job? He told the hospice nurse he's a credit officer. Wouldn't that give him access to sensitive information? Could he be an identity thief?

Does the use of an alias name suggest criminal activity? How does one get an alias?

What do I do? She's basically a hostage. Any action or inaction I take will affect her negatively. It seems I can do nothing until she dies. But then what?

I'm NOT a lawyer so these are just my ideas. Don't do anything based on what I write. Check with your own lawyer.

The parents should establish a POA before they get far into old age. When a spouse dies, the survivor should immediately designate a POA.

The POA should be honest, trustworthy and financially savvy. The POA does not have to be a son or daughter. Pick a sibling. At any rate, the POA will need to know all about your financial accounts: checking, savings, investments, retirement, insurance, credit cards, etc. The POA needs account numbers, any passwords to access accounts online, address and phone numbers.

Everyone should recognize who has been designated POA. The POA should send a copy of the document to all financial institutions.

When the parent reaches a point where he/she is unable to read or write or even bother with bills, it's time to have the mail re-directed to the POA. The POA should have the mailing address changed. The POA at this point should also have the check book and other financial instruments.

DO NOT get into a position where the (financial) mail can be intercepted by someone other than the POA. For example, if you move in with a son, and you sister is POA, make sure that your (financial) mail goes to her.

The parent should do anything to keep the house (deed) in their name.

The will should always be kept up to date. So if a spouse dies or you move, update the will.

Prepay the funeral IF you're certain you'll die in the area. Even better to buy the plot and have as much done as you can. Get the money into an irrevocable trust.