Famous Misquotes
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Quotations That Never Were
Have you ever been misquoted, misrepresented or just plain misunderstood? If so, you are not alone, it happens to the best of us--in fact, you are in some pretty illustrious company. 
"Don't talk to me about Naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash."
What Winston Churchill actually said was better-turned and more evocative: "Naval tradition? Monstrous. Nothing but rum, sodomy, prayers, and the lash."
There is a theory, prominent on the internet, that Churchill never made this imminently quotable comment, but that--according to his assistant, an Anthony Montague-Brown--he wished he had said it. Interestingly, My 2006 copy of The Oxford Concise Dictionary of Quotations, even though it is put out by Oxford, is in the fifth edition, and has a whole section devoted to misquotes, makes no mention of this theory. I'm going to go with Oxford as the authority on this one and assume that rather than just wishing he had said this, Churchill did in fact say it. One thing that argues in favor of that conclusion is the distinctly Churchillian ring of the phrase.
"I want to suck your blood."
Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) does not utter this line in the 1931 classic movie, Dracula. However, It is used humorously in the 1994 Tim Burton directed film, Ed Wood by Ned Bellamy's character, Dr. Tom Mason, in the context of his doing a Bela Lugosi impersonation; which proves that a misquote can sometimes take on a life of its own and continue to haunt the person who never said it, even after death.
"If they have no bread, let them eat cake!"
("S'ils n'ont plus de pain, qu'ils mangent de la brioche.")
O.K., two things: brioche is not cake, it's a kind of fancy bread, and it wasn't Marie Antoinette who said this; the phrase does not originate with her. It is actually a quote from Jean-Jacques Rousseau's autobiography, Confessions, in which he wrote: "At length I recollected the thoughtless saying of a great princess, who, on being informed that the country people had no bread, replied, "Then let them eat brioche!" Rousseau doesn't name the "princess", and Marie Antoinette didn't arrive at Versailles until 1770, thirty years after Rousseau had written the above passage. So if there ever actually was a "great princess" who said this, it could not have been Marie Antoinette. 
Disclaimer: Neither of the women in this photo is the actual, historical Marie Antoinette.
Star Trek Trouble and 'Tribble-ations'

"Beam me up Scotty."
"Beam me up, Scotty" is probably the most overused one-liner on this green earth. Even so, it has never been uttered on any other planet, at least not by Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. The closest he ever came to that misquote was when he said, "Beam us up, Mr. Scott" in a 1968 episode of Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek called 'The Gamesters of Triskelion.'
In the following clip from a season one episode called The Apple, this exchange takes place between Kirk and Scotty:
"Kirk to Enterprise."
"Scott here, sir."
"We're beaming up, notify the transport room."
(If your feeling nostalgic, have a listen to the original theme music on the first clip, or if you want to laugh, have a look at what really is the worst fight scene in history. It's from Arena, episode 18 of the first season. I actually remember watching this episode when I was a kid, and thinking even then that it was really stupid--I was 7.)
"I Want To Be Alone."
Greta Garbo

Greta Garbo was not so much misquoted in this case as she was taken out of context. She actually did say, "I want to be Alone", but she said it while playing the role of Grusinskaya in the 1932 movie Grand Hotel.
In real life, Garbo once reportedly told a friend, "I never said, 'I want to be alone." I only said, 'I want to be let alone.' There is all the difference."
Movie Miscues
"Me Tarzan, you Jane."
The actual exchange between Maureen O'Sullivan and Johnny Weissmuller in the 1932 movie, Tarzan the Ape Man is much more involved, and realistic I think. It goes like this:
Jane: "Thank you for protecting me."
Tarzan: (pointing to Jane) "Me?"
Jane: "I said, 'Thank you for protecting me."
Tarzan: (pointing to Jane) "Me."
Jane: "No, I'm only 'me' for me.
Tarzan: (pointing to Jane) "Me."
Jane: "No. To you I'm 'you'."
Tarzan: (pointing to himself) "You."
Jane: "No... I'm Jane Parker, understand? Jane, Jane."
Tarzan: (pointing to Jane) "Jane, Jane, Jane."
Jane: "Yes, Jane. You? (pointing to herself) Jane."
Tarzan: (pointing to Jane) "Jane."
Jane: "And you, you."
Tarzan: (pointing to himself) "Tarzan, Tarzan."
Jane: "Tarzan."
"Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
The actual line is, "Why don't you come up sometime, and see me." Which is only slightly different from the misquote, but what can't be seen in print is the way she says it. Mae West could've read out the phone directory and made it sound absolutely scandalous. In this clip her character hits on Carey Grant with this line: "You know, I...I always did like a man in a uniform. That one fits you grand."
According to The Yale Book of Quotations' editor, Fred R. Shapiro, Mae West did say, "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?", but as herself. He insists the line was not in any of her movies, including the one her fans swear it was in, She Done Him Wrong.
According to Shapiro, West used it to greet a policeman assigned to her as an escort. As she once said of herself, "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
However, the line does make a cameo appearance in her final film Sextette (1978), said to co-star George Hamilton.
"You dirty rat!"
What James Cagney actually said was: "Mmm, that dirty, double-crossin' rat," in the 1931 film, Blonde Crazy. As another example of how misquotes can take on a life of their own, in the 1990 comedy, Home Alone, Macauley Culkin watches a scene from a fictional gangster movie entitled, "Angels With Filthy Souls" (a take-off on the 1938 Cagney film Angels With Dirty Faces), in which a gangster shoots while saying, "Take that, you dirty rat!"
"Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Ah, The Treasure of Sierra Madre. In the most famous scene of this truly great film, (It's amazing how many great movies Bogey appeared in: The Treasure of Sierra Madre, Casablanca, African Queen, The Maltese Falcon... My favorite Bogey film is The Maltese Falcon. I love the hard-boiled dialog) what the Bandito says in full is: "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!" And then the shooting starts.
"Play it again Sam."
After Captain Kirk, the most oft-misquoted character in fiction is probably Rick Blaine, memorably portrayed by Humphrey Bogart in the 1942 Hollywood classic Casablanca, who never once throughout the movie says, "Play it again, Sam." This is what he actually says: "If she can stand it, I can. Play it!" Earlier in the film, Ilsa Lund--Rick's old flame, played by Ingrid Bergman--says, "Play it, once Sam, for old time's sake. Play it Sam, play 'As Time Goes By'."
Also in the clip are some lines that Bogey thankfully did actually say, including this one:
"Here's looking at you kid."
What are your favorite movie lines?
Inconceivable. You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means.
The Princess Bride7 points
All Right . . . all right . . .but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order...what have the Romans ever done for us?
John Cleese in Monty Python's The Life of Brian (1979)6 points
Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans. No more merciful beheadings. And call off Christmas!
Robinhood, Prince of Thieves (1991). Spoken by Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham.3 points
I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.
Silence of the Lambs (1991). Spoken by Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter.3 points
Who ever thought a little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?
The Wizard of Oz (1939). The Wicked Witch of the West, played by Margaret Hamilton, speaking.3 points
Over? Did you say it was "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Animal House (1978). Spoken by John "Bluto" Blutarsky, played by John Belushi.2 points
Your choice is simple. Join us and live in peace or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). Klaatu, played by Michael Rennie, speaking.2 points
Old age. It's the only disease...that you don't look forward to being cured of.
Citizen Kane (1941). Spoken by Mr. Bernstein, played by Everett Sloane.
Screenplay by Herman J. Mankiewicz and Orson Welles.2 points
I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
Dr. Strangelove (1964). Spoken by General Jack D. Ripper, played by Sterling Hayden.
Screenplay by Stranley Kubrick, Terry Southern, and Peter George.2 points
"You're not very smart, are you? I like that in a man."
Kathleen Turner to William Hurt in Body Heat. It was funny, but it was also the clue to the entire movie, very cleverly written2 points
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Duck Soup (1933). Spoken by Groucho Marx.1 point
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!
The Wizard of Oz (1939). The Cowardly Lion, played by Bert Lahr, speaking.1 point
Always do the right thing.
Do the Right Thing (1989). Screenplay by Spike Lee.
Da Major, played by Ossie Davis, speaking.1 point
Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
Jurassic Park (1993). Ian Malcolm, played by Jeff Goldblum, responding to John Hammond's statement: "All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked."1 point
Why don't you pass the time by playing a little Solitaire?
From "The Manchurian Candidate"1 point
This movie was shot in 3B, three beers and it looks good, eh?
Strange Brew (1983). Spoken by Rick Moranis as Bob McKenzie:0 points
Greed--for lack of a better word--is good. Greed is right. Greed works.
Wall Street (1987). Spoken by Michael Douglas.0 points
Hey, Boo.
Spoken by Scout Finch on finally meeting Arthur Radley, in To Kill a Mockingbird, best movie in the world0 points
Marraige isn't a word--it's a sentence!
From the 1928 movie, The Crowd.0 points
I can stand anything but pain.
The Band Wagon (1953). Lester Morton, played by Oscar Levant, speaking.0 points
As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practicle until they can be made unbreakable.
The Wizard, played by Frank Morgan, speaking to the Tin Woodman, played by Jack Haley.0 points
Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms. And the Autumn moon is bright.
The Wolf Man (1941). John Talbot, played by Claude Rains, speaking.0 points
Holmesian Hiccups
"Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary."
This phrase appears nowhere in Sir Arthur Canon Doyle's writings, though it was used in the screenplay of the 1929 film, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, at the end of which Watson exclaims, "Amazing Holmes" and Sherlock Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary."The closest proximity in which the words "my dear Watson" and "elementary" appear in Sir Doyle's writing is in the following excerpt from the The Crooked Man:
"I have the advantage of knowing your habits, my dear Watson," said he. "When your round is a short one you walk, and when it is a long one you use a hansom. As I perceive that your boots, although used, are by no means dirty, I cannot doubt that you are at present busy enough to justify the hansom."
"Excellent!" I cried.
"Elementary," said he.
Shakespearean Solecisms
"Now is the winter of our discontent."
This is a half-quote from Richard III. The full quote is:"Now is the winter of our discontent, Made glorious summer by this sun of York."
Which means just the opposite of the popular quote: winter has given way to summer, sadness to joy. It seems that Shakespeare was taken out of context. Well, it happens to the best of us. On a recent installment of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart demonstrated how misleading this kind of cherry-picking of words can be. On his Fox News show, The Great American Panel Sean Hannity quoted a speech President Obama made during his recent European tour. Hannity quoted him as having said:
"There have been times when America's shown arrogance, been dismissive, even derisive."
And then angrily commented, "He's embarrassed by America--America's arrogant he's saying, before the European elites."
But here is what the president said in full:
"There have been times when America's shown arrogance, been dismissive, even derisive. But, in Europe, there's an anti-Americanism that is at once casual, but can be insidious."
Jon Stewart pointed out, "Sean Hannity just read the first part. It's like being angry at Charles Dickens for suggesting in the Tale of Two Cities that "it was the best of times"...NOT FOR EVERYONE DICKENS!"
"To the manor born"
What Hamlet actually says is, "But to my mind, though I am native here and to the manner born, it is a custom more honour'd in the breach than the observance."
Hamlet is talking about a local custom, which is to drain a goblet of wine in a single gulp when making a toast. He is embarrassed by his countrymen's reputation for drunkenness.
He's not implying here that he's a high class git because he was born in a "manor", he's saying that the lads in his hometown don't mind a good piss up now and then, but that is a less than noble thing.
"Romeo, Romeo... Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
This one is a misunderstanding rather than a misquote. Shakespeare wrote his plays 400 years ago, and therefore his English is antiquated. These days, the only time that the word "wherefore" is used is in the expression "the whys and wherefores," so a lot of people mistakenly think it means "where" when in fact, it means "why". Juliet isn't searching for Romeo, she's asking him why he has to be a Montague--a member of the family that is the enemy of her family.
The Big Lie
"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."
This quote is almost certainly apocryphal. Which is ironic, because that makes it a kind of lie, that has been repeated over and over again, and which people have eventually come to believe.The truth of the matter is that Goebbels' propaganda was never so crude. However, he did write the following in 1941, in an article entitled "Aus Churchills Lügenfabrik," that is, "Churchill's Lie Factory."
"... One should not as a rule reveal one's secrets, since one does not know if and when one may need them again. The essential English leadership secret does not depend on particular intelligence. Rather, it depends on a remarkably stupid thick-headedness. The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous."
As you can see, far from taking credit for "the big lie", Goebbels ascribed it to the English, and found it a crude and unintelligent form of propaganda. Goebbles wrote and spoke a great deal about what he considered to be good propaganda The following are a couple of snippets of what he had to say on the subject in Nuremberg in 1934:
"Propaganda must be creative. It is by no means a matter for the bureaucracy or official administration, but rather it is a matter of productive fantasy. The genuine propagandist must be a true artist. He must be a master of the popular soul, using it as an instrument to express the majesty of a genuine political will. Propaganda can be pro or con. In neither case does it have to be negative. The only thing that is important is whether or not its words are true and genuine expressions of the people. During its period of opposition, the National Socialist movement proved that criticism can be constructive, indeed that in a time which the government is in the hands of destructive powers it may be the only constructive element.
Each propaganda had a direction. The quality of this direction determines whether propaganda has a positive or negative effect. Good propaganda does not need to lie, indeed it may not lie. It has no reason to fear the truth. It is a mistake to believe that people cannot take the truth. They can. It is only a matter of presenting the truth to people in a way that they will be able to understand. A propaganda that lies proves that it has a bad cause. It cannot be successful in the long run. A good propaganda will always come along that serves a good cause. But propaganda is still necessary if a good cause is to succeed. A good idea does not win simply because it is good. It must be presented properly if it is to win. But a good idea is itself the best propaganda. Such propaganda is successful without being obnoxious. It depends on its nature, not its methods. It works without being noticed. Its goals are inherent in its nature. Since it is almost invisible, it is effective and powerful. A good cause will lose to a bad one if it depends only on its rightness, while the other side uses the methods of influencing the masses. We are for example convinced that we fought the war for a good cause, but that was not enough. The world should also have known that our cause was good. However, we lacked the effective means of mass propaganda to make that clear to the world. Marxism certainly did not fight for great ideals. Despite that, in November 1918 it overcame Kaiser, Reich and the army because it was superior in the art of mass propaganda."
The "big lie" idea originated with HItler. He wrote about it in Mein Kampf, but like Goebbels, far from promoting it as an effective propaganda technique, he cast it in a negative light; though in Hitler's case, he claimed it was a dastardly technique used by the Jews to pull the wool over the eyes of the innocent German people:
"All this was inspired by the principle - which is quite true in itself - that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying. These people know only too well how to use falsehood for the basest purposes."
Joseph Goebbels never claimed that simply telling a big lie repeatedly was effective propoganda--he was much more intelligent and subtle than that. That is exactly why he was so dangerous. The following is an excerpt from Joseph Goebbels' Principles of Propaganda:
"Reichsminister for Propaganda and National Enlightenment, Goebbels was given complete control over radio, press, cinema, and theater; later he also regimented all German culture. Goebbels placed his undeniable intelligence and his brilliant insight into mass psychology entirely at the service of his party. His most virulent propaganda was against the Jews. As a hypnotic orator he was second only to Hitler, and in his staging of mass meetings and parades he was unsurpassed. Utterly cynical, he seems to have believed only in the self-justification of power. He remained loyal to Hitler until the end. On May 1, 1945, as Soviet troops were storming Berlin, Goebbels committed suicide."
Pet Peeves
Language mistakes that really bug me
"Without furthur adieu."
I've noticed this one popping up here and there a lot recently. Personally,I find it a very strange mistake to make because "adieu" is French for "goodbye, or literally, "go with God." By what stretch of the imagination could "without furthur goodbye" mean, let's stop fooling around and get down to brass tacks? When you think about it, how on earth could it mean anything at all? Of course, without furthur "ado" means just that.
"I'm opinionated."
Most Americans use this word in a positive sense, but an "opinionated" person is not one who merely has opinions, he is a person who believes his opinions are superior to those of others, and who will refuse to budge from them even when demonstrably in the wrong. Webster's defines the word this way: "obstinate or conceited with regard to one's opinions; conceitedly dogmatic."
Wait a minute, that reminds me of someone...oh, but I don't want to Rush to conclusions.
"That begs the question of ..."
This mistake comes fom a misinterpretation of the word "beg". This is not the same sense of "beg" as in "I beg your pardon" or "I beg of you sir, please desist". In this case "beg" means avoid or omit. So, the expression "That begs the question of ____", does not mean that there's a big fat question lying there just begging to be asked, it's a way of pointing out a questionable jump in logic. For example, someone might ask me something like this:
"Which do you like better, McDonald's or Burger KIng?"
To which I might reply, snottily:
"That rather begs the question of whether I like either, or fast food at all."
Those are not obvious questions that are just screaming out to be asked, rather, they point out assumptions which, if false, call into question the validity of the original question.This phrase is more subtle than it's usally taken to be.
They Never Said It
Famous Misquotes
They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, and Misleading Attributions
Amazon Price: $17.83 (as of 02/13/2012)![]()
List Price: $34.99
Reviewed by Andrew S. Rogers (Seattle, Washington)
It may well be true, as Roy Howard never said that "too much fact checking has ruined many a good news story." But the many misquotations listed here, some very well known, often have fascinating stories in themselves. In a day when, thanks to the Internet, misquotations, urban legends, and dubious "facts" fly faster and farther than ever, this book is a very valuable resource to have around.
My major complaint with this book is that I wish it had been much longer -- for example, there are numerous quotes attributed to Winston Churchill (like the one about being a liberal when you're 25) that could stand to be debunked alongside the two included in this volume.
Still, though, it's very helpful to be able to demonstrate to folks that Lenin never said anything about "useful idiots," that Lincoln never made the long statement beginning, "You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift...," or that Voltaire never "defend[ed] to the death your right to say it." For those reasons alone, I would recommend this book be kept and studied by anyone who cares about truth, accuracy, and stomping urban legends to the death they deserve.
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Leave your immortal words here
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Edutopia
Jan 31, 2012 @ 1:20 am | delete
- A great lens and collection of the proper quotes so you can properly egghead out at parties.
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christopherwell
Oct 5, 2011 @ 2:10 pm | delete
- I love how wide-ranging your list is -- characters from television, film, and print; real-life figures from history, etc. Good lens!
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stargazer90
Apr 12, 2011 @ 12:51 pm | delete
- ha, great lens! I especially liked the Dracula bit a "misquote can sometimes take on a life of its own and continue to haunt the person who never said it, even after death."
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jgelien
Oct 21, 2010 @ 7:14 am | delete
- Riveting lens. I enjoyed it very much.
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ShirlW
Oct 20, 2010 @ 7:07 am | delete
- Fascinating, interesting and blessed by a Squid Angel today.
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