Best Blonde Jokes

A young blonde went to see a doctor and said, "You must help me. I have pains all over my bodies."

The doctor replied, "What do you mean?"

The blonde touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ouch, that hurts." Then, she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then, she touched her right earlobe. 'Ouch, that even hurts."

The doctor asked the blonde, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Yes, why?" replied the young blonde.

"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

A young blonde went to a doctor after spotting two small circular rash marks on each side of her inner thigh.

The doctor instructed the blonde to undress and sit on the table and spread her legs. Sitting between the blonde's legs, the doctor looks up at her and asks if she is a lesbian.

The young blonde blushes and says, "Well, yes I am."

The doctor stands up and tells her, "Don't worry your rash will go away. Go home and tell your girlfriend that her earrings aren't real."

A blonde woman was reaching the end of a job interview when the Human Resources officer asked, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The blonde replied, "I'm expecting somewhere around $125,000 a year, depending on the incentive package."

The officer inquired, "Well, what do you think about a package of 6-weeks vacation, 20 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say?"

The blonde suddenly responded, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. The doctor noticed it was a gunshoot wound and asked her how it happened?

The blonde said, "Well, to be honest, I was trying to kill myself. Initially, I put the gun in my mouth, but then thought that I just had all that bridge work done and I don't want to ruin it. So I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought I just got a nose job not too long ago and I don't want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought I just had these boobs done and I don't want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, this is going to be loud!"

A blonde woman consulted a doctor explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done nothing about it until now.

So the doctor took down all of her medical history, a process that took quite a while.

At the end, the woman says, "You see, Dr Smyth while I've been sitting here talking to you I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell."

At this point, the doctor scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and handed it to the woman.

"What's this?" she asked, "some pills?"

"No", replied Dr Smyth, "that is a prescription for a hearing aid: come in next week, and we'll operate on your nose."

A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.

The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"

He replies, "No."

She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that! I don't want to get that again...!"