Dads Visitation & Access Rights
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Living On The Outside Looking In
In today's society, nearly half of children are being born to single mothers. Combine this with the high rate of divorce and a parent (usually the father) ends up on the outside looking in, wondering what is happening with his children. His access to them is limited and controlled, either by the court, or by the mother. For this reason, access rights need to be defined clearly to avoid later issues arising as to whether a certain day, weekend, or holiday belongs to one parent or the other.
This material is provided by the Dads House Educational Center in Yahoo Groups, with over a decade of educating Divorced and Single Fathers on their Rights and Responsibilities as Parents. ©
What Needs To Be Known
Below you will find information on:
- What Parents Need To Discuss On Access Rights;
- Sample Visitation Schedule;
- Sample Long Distance Visitation Schedule;
- How To Address Denial Of Access;
- Collecting Evidence Of Denial Of Access For The Courts;
- GrandParent Access Rights;
- Child Refusing To Visit;
You will learn that hiring an attorney is not necessarily a first step to address denial of access. Many state or local governments have developed procedures for enforcing visitation orders. In addition, the Federal government has made funding available to states for developing model programs to ensure that children will be able to have the continuing care and emotional support of both parents. Check with your local CSE agency and clerk of court to see what resources are available to you and to find out about laws that address custody and visitation.
Denial of access is a major problem, even with court orders in place. According to the US Dept. of Health & Human Services study, "Survey of Absent Parents" over 60% of mothers regularly violates the access rights of fathers, cutting off all contact between the children and their fathers within five years. Unlike child support, mothers are not jailed, even with multiple Contempt of Court ruling against them for violating the father's court ordered visitation rights. However, Michigan has recently passed a law to limit the driving privileges of a custodial parent violating the access orders.
Discussion Guidelines
Unfortunately, for many parents, their lawyers are unaware of the type of visitation that is needed by the by the non-residential parent if he/she is to remain a moral force in the child's life. Many lawyers are writing unenforceable clauses such as "at such times that are mutually agreeable to both parties" in decrees.
Others are advising their clients that the most any judge will agree to is two weekends a month and two weeks in the summer. Thus, many non-residential parents are agreeing to decrees containing visitation rights which almost guarantee that they will become a weekend entertainer. The children suffer because they lose the opportunity for a meaningful relationship with their non-residential parents, and because many non-residential parents, after experiencing the frustration of being an "entertainer", drop out of their children's lives completely.
Specific and adequate visitation must be spelled out in a decree to provide for future stability in the parent-child relationship. Most caring parents agree verbally at the time of divorce not to poison their child against the other or to restrict access. At the time, this is truly meant by both sides and the need to clarify in writing this intent is not foreseen. As time goes on, people change, new spouses enter the picture, and good intentions are forgotten or rationalized away due to some real or imagined hurt.
If this possibility is understood by both parents at the outset, neither one should object to spelling out visitation. At this stage, the custodial parent should not feel threatened by putting in writing his/her intentions to give the non-custodial parent some sense of security.
Appropriate Behavior
In all matters concerning any separation of parents, both parents must constantly examine their actions to assure that the needs and interests of the child are addressed first. It is very easy to feel that one's child will really be much better off if the other parent would just disappear from the sight, and that with proper coaching, the child will realize the validity of all this. Where two caring parents are involved, this is a very dangerous mind-set. Besides being wrong, it has the potential of justifying actions which are detrimental to the mental health of the child.
Children suffer greatly from any divorce. Recent studies indicate that those whose parents work together to minimize all forms of tension, visitation is an excellent vehicle to build or decrease tension, since both parents must come together to arrange for details of pick-up and delivery and both parents will experience the normal fears that the other one is somehow "turning the child away from me".
The Custodial parent must understand that the child still wants and needs the other parent. The child did not ask for a divorce from either parent or request a divorce from the child. The custodial parent must, as a duty to the child make reasonable effort to see that visitation is scheduled and takes place with minimum tension.
If this means that the custodial parent must be inconvenienced from time to time, it must be seen to be as much a part of the responsibilities of a parent as adjusting a schedule to accommodate a PTA meeting. Most problems of divorced non-residential parents which occur after the divorce can be traced back to a lack of understanding on the part of the parent having primary custody of this very basic concept.
Similarly, the non-custodial parent must understand that if the non-custodial parent is to work with the custodial parent to lessen tension, the non-custodial parent must give no indication of trying to win the child's affection away from the custodial parent. The non-custodial parent must be responsive to the custodial parent's needs. Just as the non-custodial parent demands for flexibility in arranging the details and logistics of visitation, The non-custodial parent must also grant such flexibility.
There are times when it is appropriate from the standpoint of the child's needs to reschedule visitation or to be inconvenienced by an alteration of time or location for pick-up or delivery. Many times the reason a non-custodial parent is denied visitation is because of an appearance of trying to turn the child away from the custodial parent or was inflexible in dealing with a minor request in rescheduling visitation.
There is a spiral of human emotion which must be constantly addressed. One parent does something, the next retaliates, ad infinitum. Only if both parents remain flexible, overlook real or imagined hurts without retaliation and continue to discuss differences, can tension be lessened and the best interest of the child served.
Visitation Schedule
It is important that to maintain adequate contact with the child, a separated parent must see the child at least once a week and spend some long period of time during the year living with the child in a more or less natural environment. The following are minimal guidelines for adequate visitation:
- ____(a) on weekends from 6 p.m. on the first, third and fifth Friday of each month until 6 p.m. on the following Sunday (or, at the non-custodial parent's election made before the rendition of the original or modification order), ____(b) from the time the child's school day ends, if any, on the first, third and fifth Fridays of each month until 6 p.m. on the following Sunday; and
- ____(a) on Wednesdays of each week during the regular school term from 6 p.m. until 8 p.m., (or at the non-custodial parent's election made before the rendition of the original or modification order), ____(b) from the time the child's school day ends, if any, until 8 p.m. on Wednesdays of each week during the regular school term.
- If a weekend period of possession of the non-custodial parent coincides with a school holiday during the regular school term, or with a federal, state, or local holiday during the summer months in which school is not in session, the weekend shall extend until 6 p.m. on a Monday holiday or school holiday or shall begin at 6 p.m. Thursday for a Friday holiday or school holiday.
- Half the summer vacation. Summer vacation is normally twelve weeks long. Four to six weeks during the summer provides time for the child and the non-custodial parent to get to know each other.
- Alternating holidays including Christmas vacation, Easter or Spring vacation, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, etc.
- Other special religious holidays, birthdays, etc., as appropriate.
Some custodial parents may complain that this schedule is excessive. However, when given a choice between custody or being a non-custodial parent with these visitation rights, they tend to accept the later. After all, the non-custodial parent gives up parental rights, the right to influence any major decisions in the child's life and even with this type of visitation schedule does not see the child as often as the custodial parent.
Unfortunately, many lawyers representing the custodial parent, advised their clients that they should not agree to extended visitation as this would be giving away something which a judge would not award to a non-residential parent on their own. This is not in keeping with interviews of judges, who assure that most judges will allow the above visitation schedule for a caring non-residential parent who can show a history of involvement in the child's life and who is clearly not using extended visitation as a club to extract concessions from the the other parent.
Rights Of Non-Custodial Parent
During periods of visitation, the non-custodial parent has the duty to provide food, clothing, shelter, etc., and the right to consent to emergency medical treatment only if there is an immediate danger to the health of the child. Other rights can be written into the decree at this time. Unfortunately, most lawyers overlook this. But, judges have indicated a desire to grant a caring parent those additional rights which has demonstrated the parent can be expected to carry out in a responsible manner.
Transportation Consideration
Most "standard" visitation agreements stipulate that the custodial parent "surrender" the child to the non-custodial parent and that the latter "return" the child to the custodial parent. This normally means that the non-custodial parent is responsible for all transportation.
While this may be a perfectly acceptable situation in cases where both parents live in proximity, situations exist where the custodial parent moves out of town and the non-custodial parent can no longer afford to exercise his/her visitation.
The "best interest" of the child of two caring, but divorced parents, is usually served by encouraging both parents to live in close proximity so that the child can have relatively free and easy access to them. There are good and valid reasons for a custodial parent to move (e.g., nearness to family, job, cost of living). The courts have ruled that the custodial parent cannot be prohibited from exercising this freedom of choice.
However, the wording of a visitation document should encourage the custodial parent to make a good faith effort to remain where the child can be close to both parents. This is best accomplished by providing for a sharing in transportation responsibility.
There have also been a number of cases where the custodial parent has refused to allow relatives or friends of the non-custodial parent, who were in position to provide transportation from one city to another, to pick-up or deliver the children. This has the potential of forcing the non-custodial parent to pay for an unnecessary round trip fare.
If a 50/50 split in transportation cannot be agreed upon at the onset, the following wording be considered:
As long as the custodial parent's residence is at ________ or within ten miles of such address, the custodial parent shall surrender the child to the non-custodial parent, or a representative agent, at such residence at the beginning of the period of visitation, and the non-custodial parent, or a representative agent, shall return the child at the end of the visitation to such residence.
If the custodial parent moves more than ten miles in such a direction as to increase the distance between the custodial parent's residence and the residence of the non-custodial parent, the custodial parent, or a representative agent, shall surrender the child at the residence of the non-custodial parent at the beginning of the period of visitation, or as soon thereafter as regularly scheduled commercial transportation is available, and the non-custodial parent, or a representative agent, shall return the child at the end of the period of visitation or as soon thereafter as regularly scheduled commercial transportation is available at the residence of the custodial parent".
Consideration should also be given to include in the original decree that a substitute visitation schedule to automatically take place if the residence of the custodial and non-custodial parents are more than 100 to 200 miles apart.
With the rapidly evolving rate of change in electronics and communication, there are now alternate ways to keep in contact with your children when they live far away. Generally the courts will order regular telephone contact between the children and the separated parent. Think about taking it a step further.
Using the High Speed Internet, along with a web camera for continued and frequent contact over long distances.
Sample Local Access Orders
Parents Living Less Than 100-Miles Apart
STANDARD VISITATION ORDER
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED that the custodial parent(s) and the non-custodial parent(s) shall be bound by the following terms and provisions, and the non-custodial parent(s) shall have possession of the child(ren) as follows:
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(a)
Definitions. In this section:
(1)
"School" means the primary or secondary school in which the child is enrolled, or, if the child is not enrolled in a primary or secondary school, the public school district in which the child primarily resides.
(2)
"Standard Order" or "standard possession order" Means an order that provides a parent named as a non-custodial parent with rights of possession of a child in accordance with the terms and conditions provided in this section.
(3)
"Child(ren)" applies to all children the subjects of this cause of action under the age of 18, and not otherwise emancipated.
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(b)
Mutual Agreement or Specific Terms for Possession. It is ordered that the parties may have possession of the child at any and all times mutually agreed to in advance by the parties and failing mutual agreement, shall have possession of the child under the specified terms herein set out in this standard order.
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(c)
Parents Who Reside 100 Miles Or Less Apart. Except as otherwise explicitly provided, if the non-custodial parent resides 100 Miles or less from the primary residence of the child, the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child as follows, according to the election made as indicated by an "X" or "/":
(1)
____ (a) on weekends from 6 p.m. on the first, third and fifth Friday of each month until 6 p.m. on the following Sunday (or, at the non-custodial parent's election made before the rendition of the original or modification order), ____ (b) from the time the child's school day ends, if any, on the first, third, and fifth Fridays of each month until 6 p.m. on the following Sunday; and
(2)
(a) on Wednesdays of each week during the regular school term from 6 p.m. until 8 p.m., (or at the non-custodial parent's election made before the rendition of the original or modification order), ____ (b) from the time the child's school day ends, if any, until 8 p.m. on Wednesdays of each week during the regular school term.
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(d)
Weekend Possession Extended by Holiday. Except as otherwise explicitly provided, if a weekend period of possession of the non-custodial parent coincides with a school holiday during the regular School term, or with a federal, state, or local holiday during the summer months in which school is not in session, the weekend shall extend until 6 p.m. on a Monday holiday or school holiday or shall begin at 6 p.m. Thursday for a Friday holiday or school holiday, as applicable.
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(e)
Vacations and Holidays. The following provisions govern possession of the child for vacations and for certain specific holidays and supersede any conflicting weekend or Wednesday periods of possession provided by subsections (c) and (d) of this section. The non-custodial parent and custodial parent shall have rights of possession of the child as follows:
(1)
the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child in even-numbered years from 6 p.m. on the last school day before the Christmas school vacation begins until noon on December 26th, and the custodial parent shall have possession for the same period in odd-numbered years;
(2)
the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child in odd-numbered years from noon on December 26th until 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes, and the custodial parent shall have possession for the same period in even-numbered years;
(3)
the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child in odd-numbered years from 6 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until 6 p.m. on the following Sunday, and the custodial parent shall have possession for the same period in even numbered years;
(4)
the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child in even-numbered years from 6 p.m. on the last school day before the school's spring vacation begins until 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes, and the custodial parent shall have possession for the same period in odd-numbered years;
(5)
if the non-custodial parent:
(A)
gives the custodial parent written notice by May 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child for 30 days between June 1 and August 31, to be exercised in no more than Two separate periods of at least seven consecutive days each; or
(B)
does not give the Custodial parent written notice by May 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child for 30 consecutive days at 6 p.m. on July 1 and ending on July 31;
(6)
if the custodial parent gives the non-custodial parent written notice by May 15 of each year or gives the non-custodial parent 14 days' written notice on or after May 16 of each year, the custodial parent shall have possession of the child on any one weekend from Friday at 6 p.m. to 6 p.m. on the following Sunday during any one period of possession by the non-custodial parent under subdivision (5) of this subsection, provided that the custodial parent picks up the child from the non-custodial parent and returns the child to that same place;
(7)
if the custodial parent gives the non-custodial parent written notice by May 15 of each year or gives the non-custodial parent 14 days' written notice on or after May 16 of each year, the custodial parent may designate one weekend between June 1 and August 31, during which an otherwise scheduled weekend period of possession by the non-custodial parent will not take place, provided that the weekend so designated does not interfere with the non-custodial parent's period or periods of extended summer possession or with Father's Day if the non-custodial parent is the father of the child;
(8)
the parent not in possession of the child on the child's birthday shall have possession of the child from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on that day, provided that the parent not in possession picks up the child from the child's residence and returns the child to that same place.
(9)
if the father shall have possession of the child on Father's Day from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., provided that, if he is not in possession of the child, he picks up the child from the child's residence and returns the child to that same place; and
(10)
if the mother shall have possession of the child on Mother's Day from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., provided that, if she is not in possession of the child, she picks up the child from the child's residence and returns the child to that same place.
Sample Long Distance Access Orders
Parents Living More Than 100-Miles Apart
Some of the highest rates of Denial of Court Ordered Parental Access or Visitation Rights take place when it involves long distance visitation, especially across state lines. There is no comparable federal office to enforce access rights as there is for child support, thus the states have no financial incentive to enforce "cross state line orders" granting a parent access rights to his/her children. In worse a case scenario, in states like Missouri, after six months of the separated parent having no contact with the children, a stepparent can adopt the children without notice given the separated parent. As such, in addition to the following, a Long Distance Order should include established penalties for violations.
The custodial parent should provide at least $5000 or $15,000 for International Cases, in a Cash or Secured Certified Bond to the court. If a violation of the access orders takes place, the bond forfeits to the non-custodial parent. It can than be used to pay for an attorney.
You should also request that the state of residency of the non-custodial parent retain jurisdiction over the case, as long as the non-custodial parent remains there.
In addition, both parents shall provide the child(ren):
- Computer Access;
- High Speed Internet Service;
- A Webcam, or better, a Firewire web cam; and
- An electronic tablet, which can be used to help with school homework, or just to draw on. As an example, while the child is practicing writing their letters on their tablet, you can be writing examples of the right way to be doing it on yours, with both images showing up onscreen. The same applies to doing math problems.
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(f)
Parents Who Reside Over 100 Miles. Except as otherwise explicitly provided, if the non-custodial parent resides more than 100 miles from the residence of the child, the non-custodial parent shall have the right to possession of the child as follows:
(1)
either regular weekend possession beginning on the first, third and fifth Friday as provided under the terms of subsection (c) (l) of this section, or not more than one weekend per month of the non-custodial parent's choice beginning at 6 p.m. on the day school recesses for the weekend and ending at 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes after the weekend, provided that the non-custodial parent gives the custodial parent seven days written notice or telephonic notice preceding a designated weekend, and provided that the non-custodial parent elects an option for this possession either before the rendition of the original or modification order or by written notice given to the custodial parent within 90 days after the parties begin to reside more than 100 miles apart, as applicable, and provided that such weekend possessions do not conflict with subsections (e)(l)-(3) and (e)(8)-(10) of this section;
(2)
the terms of Subsection (e)(l)-(3) and (e)(8)-(10) of this section are applicable when the non-custodial parent resides more than 100 miles from the residence of the child;
(3)
every Spring school vacation from 6 p.m. on the day school recesses until 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes after that vacation;
(4)
if the non-custodial parent:
(A)
gives the Custodial parent written notice by May 1, of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child for 42 days between June 1 and August 31, to be extended in no more than two separate periods of at least seven consecutive days each; or
(B)
does not give the custodial parent written notice by May 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the non-custodial parent shall have possession of the child for 42 consecutive days beginning at 6 p.m. on June 15 and ending at 6 p.m. on July 27;
(5)
if the custodial parent gives the non-custodial parent written notice by May 15 of each year or gives the non-custodial parent 14 days notice on or after May 16 of each year, the custodial parent shall have possession of the child on any one weekend from Friday at 6 p.m. to 6 p.m. on the following Sunday during any one period of possession by the non-custodial parent under subdivision (4) of this subsection, provided that if a period of possession by the non-custodial parent exceeds 30 days, the custodial parent may have possession of the child under the terms of this subdivision on any two nonconsecutive weekends during that time period, and further provided that the custodial parent picks up the child from the non-custodial parent and returns the child to the same place; and
(6)
if the custodial parent gives the non-custodial parent written notice by May 15 of each year or gives the non-custodial parent 30 days' written notice on or after May 16 of each year, the custodial parent may designate 21 days between June 1 and August 31, to be exercised in no more than two separate periods of at least seven consecutive days each, during which the non-custodial parent shall not have possession of the child, provided that the period or periods so designated do not interfere with the non-custodial parent's period or periods of extended summer possession or with Father's Day if the non-custodial parent is the father of the child.
General Terms & Conditions
(g)
Except as otherwise explicitly provided, terms and conditions of possession of a child that apply irrespective of the distance between the residence of a parent and the child are as follows:
(1)
the custodial parent shall surrender the child to the non-custodial parent at the beginning of each period of the non-custodial parent's possession at the residence of the custodial parent;
(2)
the non-custodial parent is hereby ordered, as indicated by an "X" or "/", to:
____(a) surrender the child to the custodial parent at the end of each period of possession at the residence of the non-custodial parent; or
____(b) return the child to the residence of the custodial parent at the end of each period of possession;
(3)
each parent shall return with the child the personal effects that the child brought at the beginning of the period of possession;
(4)
either parent may designate any competent adult to pick up and return the child, as applicable; a parent or a designated competent adult shall be present when the child is picked up or returned;
(5)
a parent shall give notice to the person in possession of the child on each occasion that the parent will be unable to exercise that parent's right of possession for any specified period; repeated failure of a parent to give notice of an inability to exercise non-custodial rights may be considered as a factor in a modification of those non-custodial rights;
(6)
written notice shall be deemed to have been timely made if received or postmarked before or at the time that notice is due; and
(7)
if a parent*s time of possession of a child ends at the time school resumes and for any reason the child is not or will not be returned to school, the parent in possession of the child shall immediately notify the school and the other parent that the child will not be or has not been returned to school.
(h)
Where parents under this decree reside in different areas and the child(ren) must travel between parents by public transportation, the custodial parent is ordered to deliver the child(ren) at the beginning of each period of possession herein awarded to the non-custodial parent, to the appropriate transportation terminal in the custodial parent's city of residence. Further, the custodial parent is ordered to pick up the child(ren) at the termination of each period of possession herein granted to the non-custodial parent, at the appropriate transportation terminal in the custodial parent's city of residence. The non-custodial parent is hereby ordered to pick up the child(ren) at the appropriate transportation terminal in the non-custodial parent's city of residence. Further, the non-custodial parent is ordered to deliver the child(ren) at the end of each period of possession herein awarded to the non-custodial parent, to the appropriate transportation terminal in the non-custodial parent's city of residence.
GrandParents Rights
There are many reasons for taking this action. The most common reason usually involves the death of of their adult child, the parent of the grandchildren. If the parents were separated at the time of the death, the surviving parent may disrupt the access of the grandparents.
Click here for Grandparents Rights Group for help in determining your state laws in this regard.
Check with the Clerk of the Court for Pro Se Forms in the County of Jurisdiction for filing for these rights before considering the hiring of an attorney.
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WHO MAY BRING THE SUIT
If it finds that it is in the best interest of the child to do so, the court may grant reasonable access rights to either the maternal or paternal grandparents of the child whose parent-child relationship has been terminated or who has been adopted. Such relief shall not be granted unless one of the child's legal parents at the time the relief is requested is the child's natural parent.
WHEN SUIT MAY BE BROUGHT
Many states have laws regarding grandparents rights. Grandparents may request an order for access to a grandchild during a suit affecting the parent-child relationship. Grandparents may also request an order for access to a grandchild after entry of judgment in a suit affecting the parent-child relationship to which the grandparents were not parties.
WHAT RELIEF MAY BE SOUGHT
In this area, we advise reviewing what the law in your state says regarding grandparents visitation or access. The attorneys in the organization can make suggestions, after reviewing what your law states.
VENUE
If the grandparents are intervening in a divorce action joined with a suit affecting the parent-child relationship, venue will be provided by law for the divorce. If the action is an original suit affecting the parent-child relationship and the grandparents are filing a petition for further remedy, venue is where the child resides. If, however, the child's residence has changed since the last adjudication, the petitioners may wish to seek a transfer to the county of the child's present residence.
PLEADINGS
If the grandparents are bringing an original suit or petition for further remedy, the pleadings should be in accordance with the requirements of your state's statutes for a suit affecting the parent-child relationship.
GROUNDS ON WHICH RELIEF MAY BE GRANTED
Grandparents, like others seeking conservatorship of, possession of, or access to a child, must show that the order they request would be in the best interest of the child.
WHAT GRANDPARENTS SHOULD DO:
Hire their own lawyer to establish grandparent rights. It's not usually very wise for the mom or dad's lawyer to also act as grandma or grandpa's lawyer. It is best to establish grandparent rights at the time of a divorce - not later. File a petition for grandparent rights while the divorce or paternity case is still active.
JOIN A GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS GROUP (link):
Keep track of all the times you see your grandchildren in a journal and write down all things you did with your grandchildren. Take lots of "happy"pictures showing what a good time you and the grandchildren have when you get together. Remember you may be the only port that protects your grandchildren from the legal storms brewed up by their parents. Create an atmosphere of peace and fun during your visits with the grandchildren. Don't talk about the mom and dad's problems unless the grandchildren specifically ask you about them.
WHAT GRANDPARENTS SHOULD NOT DO:
Don't take sides between two warring parents in front of your grandchildren. Support your child in private. Never say bad things about either of your grandchildren's parents - this can be psychologically harmful to your grandchildren. Don't sit on your rights as grandparents. Get into court and get your rights established. This is not interring in your children's lives but is protecting the needs of your grandchildren to have a relationship with you. Lots of research has shown that grandparents are very important in lives of children going through divorce or child custody battles.
A BRIEF LOOK AT THE LAW
All fifty states of have laws allowing for grandparent visitation. These laws vary from state to state, but the vast majority of states allow grandparent's to have visitation rights following divorce or the death of one parent. Many states also allow grandparents visitation rights in situations where the parents where never married. Some states allow grandparents to have visitation rights following a stepparent adoption. Almost no states allow grandparents visitation in cases where both natural parents are still married or living together unless the natural parents approve 2the visitation.
In order for grandparents to have legally enforceable rights, they must get a court order establishing a grandparent visitation schedule. This order is often made in a divorce decree at the time of the natural parents' divorce. However, grandparent visitation schedules can be established after a divorce has been finalized.
Usually, grandparents must file a petition to establish their rights. This petition will normally say that it is in the best interests of the minor children to have visitation with the grandparents. If the petition is contested all the way to a hearing in front of the court, the grandparents will have to prove that it is in their grandchildren's best interests to have a separate visitation schedule with them. Generally, grandparent's will have to show that they have a warm, loving and nurturing relationship with their grandchildren - or it will have to be shown how the objecting parent has interfered with the establishment of such a relationship. Here are some questions you will need to answer:- How often did you see the child?
- Under what circumstances did you see the child?
- What activities did you do together?
- Did you visit alone with the children or only when parents were present?
- Did you ever babysit?
- Did you read stories together?
- Did you take walks together?
- Did you go shopping together?
- Did the child ever spend the night at your house - when?
- What is your grandchild's birth date?
- What is your grandchild's favorite story? Game?
- Do you know your grandchild's medical history?
- Why do you believe visitation was stopped?
- Is there disagreement between you and parent as to the child's raising?
- What is your goal?
- How often do you want visitation?
Writing Letters
Fathers are a frequent target of the media and politicians in citing what they think is wrong with America. They blame us for fatherless children, even though 40% of divorced/single mothers deny fathers access to their children.
They call us deadbeat dads, even though only 3% of those ordered to pay child support refuse to. They claim that millions of single mothers are not getting child support, without mentioning that 75% never applied for any, and/or do not know who the father is.
If we are to curb the negative picture presented about fathers, then fathers need to be expressing their opinions on that. You can be doing that by writing letters to your politicians, and to the Editorial Letter page of newspapers.
These links will teach you how to do just that. Consider doing that at least once a month. We cannot make our voices heard if we are not willing to speak up.
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jen
May 30, 2012 @ 1:31 pm | delete
- It's not just fathers, it's mothers too in some cases. I let my childrens fathers parents have custody of my three children for the reason that I could not provide for them financially....now its utterly impossible to see them for the one time I get them a month and especially summer vacation. When you work around their schedules for the sake of the kids so there's no drama and they still wont let you see the kids is ridiculous. Its not fair to the kids and the AGO doesnt help. Its wrong that they push so hard for the money but not for the visitation of the parents when that too is needed for the children to grow up healthy.
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George_McCasland
May 30, 2012 @ 7:53 pm | delete
- Aside from are are far more cases involving fathers, whereas women will read gender neutral articles, men don't, if we can get them to read the material at all. Usually they are being pushed by a woman to read it, thus the ay to is designed. Men are far more defeatist in their attitude.
Just as I would ask a man, do you have court ordered access rights that can be enforced? If you do, than there is something you can be doing.
http://www.squidoo.com/DenyingFathersAccessToTheirChildren
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MumOF2
Apr 27, 2012 @ 7:23 pm | delete
- Wow great info :) im a seperated mother of two and on my kids dads access days he tells me that if i dont do what he wants, such as drop kids off and pick them up etc, he will take me to court and force me to pay him money for food and other necessitys when they are with him. I didnt realise that i didnt have to supply everything for him that our kids need, ive been packing clothes, tooth brushes and even shampoo for the lasy year, cos hes told me that i have to supply it all or he wont have kids, so ive done everything hes asked so our kids dont miss out cos they love their dad. It is helpful to no your rights as a mother too, and to no that i have been doing more than i needed to.
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George_McCasland
Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:32 pm | delete
- Send him these.
http://www.squidoo.com/fathers-visitation-access-rights#module105546981
http://squidoo.com/Children-Of-Separated-Parents
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pat
Apr 24, 2012 @ 10:34 am | delete
- Fathers have no rights when it comes to seeing their children. Mothers play stupid games knowing the courts are weak and will do nothing but warn them about doing it again. So, fathers are left to deal with all the garbage the ex has to deal out just to see his kids. I have been in and out of court rooms for over two years and nothing has changed. Just a evil person with a axe to grind. My kids are the ones suffering here. All the courts care about is money . I hope I get a second chance when they are adults, right now, things look really dim.
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AndrewvHugh
Apr 11, 2012 @ 5:18 am | delete
- Great information!
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drkathleenreay
Dec 4, 2011 @ 8:54 pm | delete
- Thanks for sharing such great info on your lens.
Dr. Kathleen M Reay, Author of Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents
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Elizabeth
Nov 16, 2011 @ 10:28 pm | delete
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gherishjhoven
Sep 8, 2011 @ 4:20 am | delete
- Thank you so much for sharing this lens. I really learned a lot from this, having a family require you to consider several things.
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ThomasNKlotz
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:58 pm | delete
- Men who are interested in learning about their rights as a dad are encouraged to seek legal counsel with a family law attorney in.
Family Attorney Chicago
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by George_McCasland
The Mission of the Dads House Educational Center Groups is to teach Divorced & Single Fathers on their rights AND responsibilities to children. more »
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