Father Ted's Funniest Moments
These are some of my favorite moments from this funny, quirky, politically incorrect sitcom based in Ireland.
Father Ted is a UK sitcom from the 90s set at the fictional Craggy Island Parochial House. Three priests have been banished there for past deeds, and they are accompanied by their ever faithful house maid, Mrs. Doyle.
Contents at a Glance
The Parochial House Crew
The Characters
*Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan): "That money was just resting in my account." Sure Fr. Crilly. You didn't embezzle that money. We believe you.
*Father Dougal McGuire (Ardal O'Hanlon): What can I say about Dougal? Nice guy really. He's just a little shallow in the gray matter department. And pretty resilient for a man who has been struck by lightening several times.
*Father Jack Hackett (Frank Kelly): "Feck! Arse! Drink! Girls!" is about the entirety of Fr. Hackett's vocabulary. This ornery old priest was sent to Craggy Isle because he paid a little too much attention to the girls and drink instead of his priestly duties.
*Mrs. Doyle (Pauline McLynn): "Tea anyone?" The dutiful house maid. She knows her place and it's in service to the church...as long as you drink her tea. Really, don't turn down her tea. You'll regret it. Have a cup. "Aw go on."
Craggy Island
Is this mad island for real?
The opening shots in the show were shot in Inisheer.
The Mainland
"I don't believe it!"
Ted and Dougal find themselves trapped in a cave and happen upon Fr. Noel Furlong played memorably by Graham Norton at his over-the-top best. Fr. Furlong has a way of breaking into song or otherwise using his voice to get himself and his poor companions in the worst predicaments.
Hell
"Ted. I'm goin' mad."
While they are on this holiday Ted can't seem to help but offend another vacationer's girl. Eventually, he and Dougal have to make a run for it.
Night of the Nearly Dead
"Go away. I don't want to catch the menopause."
Besides thinking menopause is contagious, Eoin McLove is a sickeningly sweet pop star who loves jumpers and puppies. The little old ladies just adore him. When Mrs. Doyle wins a teatime visit with the star in a contest, the old ladies show themselves to be the true undead that they are.
Speed 3
"Hey you! Who's goin' to deliver the milk now?"
Father McGuire agrees to do a short stint as a milkman to replace Pat Mustard, the former philandering milkman that Fr. Crilly got sacked. Little do they know that Pat rigged the milk truck to blow up if Dougal drives below 4 mph. Sandra Bullock, eat your heart out! Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse
Of course, Ted lost the bet, and now he must figure out a way to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse without being strangled, disemboweled, or sent to a place worse than Craggy Island.
Father Ted on Amazon
Favorite Quotes From the Show
"I won't be able to relax until the only rabbit left is the one sitting in your head working the controls." Fr. Ted
"Arse biscuits!" Fr. Jack Hackett
"Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?" Fr. Ted
"God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all." Fr. Dougal
"I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests..." Fr. Ted
Father Ted Sites
- The Golden Cleric - Father Ted Fan Site
- A fansite with pics, games, videos, etc.
- Father Ted on Channel 4
- The official Channel 4 Father Ted site in the UK.
- Father Ted FEQ
- A fan created site with tons of info and trivia about the show.
Who's your favorite quirky guest?
Whether they're sad or mad, these are just a few of the characters that leave a memorable impression.
Update 3/2009 - One of you took mercy on Fr. Larry Duff and voted for him. Bless you child.
Father Ted Gear
What's your favorite Father Ted moment?
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Reply
- jdeneen88 jdeneen88 Jan 20, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
- I think my favorite Dugal line is... "Ted, I'm goin' mad."
Brilliant Britcoms from Graham Linehan. I also Like "The IT Crowd" and "Black Books".
Brilliant!
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Reply
- PJ_Deneen PJ_Deneen Jan 4, 2009 @ 3:19 pm | in reply to Tracey_M
- That episode was hilarious. Poor Mrs. Doyle. At least she loves her tea...lol. Thanks for stopping by.
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Reply
- Tracey_M Tracey_M Nov 28, 2008 @ 4:18 am
- Oh there are so many but I'd like "Is it true Father, you're a racist now" also of course when Mrs Doyle fell ou the window while cleaning it. And when Doogle gets stuck in the milkvan with a bomb.


















