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Frank Costanza explains how it all began...
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . .
a Festivus for the rest of us!
The Festivus Celebration
This December 23rd, your celebration could be a Festivus Miracle!Make certain that your aluminum festivus pole is brought up from the crawl space early and that it is clean and shiny. And remember: TINSEL IS DISTRACTING!
No roast turkey here: serve only filling comfort foods; a meatloaf or platter of spagetti would be perfect.
Go ahead, invite your boss; he or she may find the entire evening enlightening and could go away with a new found respect for you.
The Airing of Grievances
Go around the Festivus dinner table telling each friend or family member all of the ways they disappointed you that year.Each speech should begin with: "I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!"
Favorite Grievances: Mothers who forget your birthday, fathers who don't like your boyfriend; sisters with objectional husbands; cousins who are fall-down drunks; bosses whose companies stink...
Feats of Strength
It's always considered polite to participate in all Festivus activities. Test your strength by pinning the head of the family or your Festivus host. Remember, Festivus is not officially over until you do! Crying is not allowed.Acceptable pins:
Crippler Crossface
Camel Clutch
Half-Nelson Choke
The Cradle
Delfin Clutch
Unacceptable WWE wrestling moves:
Angle Ankle Lock
Edgecator
The Back Breaker
The Rock Bottom
The Pedigree
Festivus Links
- Celebrate Festivus
- A Seinfeld fan's Festivus page.
- A website for the rest of us
- Forum, recipes, and a FestivuStore featuring metal poles, t-shirts, and mugs.
- The Script
- Make sure you are celebrating Festivus properly; read the Seinfeld script called "The Strike" which features all the dialog from the Festivus episode.
- Festivus Explained
- A short VidLit movie detailing the history and celebration of Festivus.
- The Human Fund
- Uncharitable giving since 1998
- H & H Bagel
- Yes, there is actually an H & H Bagel. Who knew!
- On Regifting
- "I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He's a regifter!" ~~Elaine Benes
Festivus Stuff at Amazon
Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us
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