Fired Funnybones

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Image Credit: Ron Leishman - clipartof.com/440967

While he really didn't dig his dead-end job, he thought there was no harm in flirting with a few furry felines at the zoo!

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Image Credit: monkeyworks.files.wordpress.com 2009/12

At recent gathering of dedicated humanists (held prior to the ho ho ho holiday season), the following topic was discussed in great detail, "Should we teach Santa Claus?"

The moderator pointed out that atheist parents who celebrate Christmas will probably include the Santa Claus myth, but this requires them to lie to their kids. While it might be fun to tell small children that Santa Claus really exists and delivers presents to children all over the world, the presenter suggested that there appears to be little scientific proof on the matter nor justification for continuing this deception.

It seems non-Santa believers are in a very difficult bind when it comes to Christmas because there are such strong social if not shopping incentives to do what other parents are doing. In fact, some social scientists suggest that not celebrating Christmas and not telling kids about Santa may cause children to be ostracized from others. At the same time, sage scientific research reveals that there are growing numbers of religious minorities who also do not wish to participate in this spurious if not psychophantic seasonal solistice event. And, as a result of this, there are an increasing numbers of kids who are "different." Being different isn't easy, but who wants to be a hypocrite just to fit in?

Questions for the evening discussion included:

-- Are adults who were taught about Santa Claus more likely to deny events like the moon landing, holocaust, climate change, etc? And, are they more or less likely to be atheists, or believe in extra-terrestrial life forms, UFOs?
-- Are they more or less likely to believe in or understand rational thought, the Scientific Method, or evolution?
-- Is there any long-term impact of teaching Santa Claus to children at all?
-- Is there a downside to teaching a child about Santa? (in terms of the abilities of that person to trust, to learn, respect, etc. once they
realize they have been deceived).
-- Why is there so little funding available to research the consequences of teaching this belief, and whether it can have any long-term negative consequences or do any long-term harm?
-- Do first-world nations that don't generally teach about Santa have more or less superstitious populations than those that do?
-- Will a lack of belief in Santa Claus and the necessity of engaging in secular seasonal shopping rituals (and contribute to higher levels of household debt and significantly reducing the saving level of citizens) be cause for yet another devastating global economic crisis?

Debating the pros and cons of perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus was made tolerable with the help of hot toddies, rum and eggnogs, not to mention mulled wine for the wassailing wunderkins served by a bevy of boisterous bar staff wearing red noses and reindeer antlers.

Lest readers be dismayed, disturbed, or downright confounded by the discussion, the humanist holiday event closed on a positive note, being a unanimous decision to sack Santa (along with the Snow Fairy), responsible for spreading spurious social thought, particularly the notion that one person has all the power and the glory to decide who's been naughty and nice this year.