DUDE, YOU'RE MY FIRST LOVE!

I met him last year. My first year as a college student. We are block mates and so we meet each other often. Truthfully, i didn't like him. He wasn't my type. He's tall and lanky and he sounds drunk whenever he's talking, but despite all that, he was really charming. He has this charisma that makes him so exceptional. To cut to the chase, he and I became really good friends. We would have late night phone conversations and most of the time, these would leave us sleepless. I never actually thought that I'd end up liking him immensely, considering the fact that he came from a really messed up relationship and that, well, you know... he might treat me as a rebound, and who would want that right? It was only when he started really paying attention to me, noticing every single thing I do. He would make me feel safe around him, make me feel like, I am really desired. I started to like him then. But, I knew that I was falling for him when I realized that, whenever he says "I love you", I stopped laughing and actually started appreciating it.
He's a delinquent boy. Coming from a broken home and all; nobody actually paid attention to him. He would let weeks pass by gallivanting with his high school friends. He's not really the "ideal" type, but I learned to accept that. Despite his shortcomings I learned to take care of him. I learned to be there for him. My efforts weren't put to waste for he responded delightfully. He started taking classes seriously and he stopped his excessive alcoholism. I loved him for that. I loved him for being so responsive. I loved him for loving me.
What we had was a fairy tale. We had an affair that was truly romantic, peppered with impulsive teenage crazes; over-all I would rate what we had an outstanding 9. We compromised and we made time for each other. The only problem is, we're both young and we both run on hasty decision making and impulsive reacting. When things fell apart we both found it hard to swallow our prides. He wouldn't admit that he still cares and that he just wants me to chase after him (to even things out), and I would front the "i-really-don't-care-anymore" facade. It was a very difficult battle. We both had our guards up, and every time we try to cut the distance short, we would end up hurting each other. HE LOVED ME, and I LOVED HIM dearly, but I just needed to grow.
The final rage happened a day after Valentine's day. He made a public surprise to a girl he barely hung out with. It's supposed to hurt, but the duration of my pain's just too long for me to even care anymore. I know him. I know him so well that I know he's using that to make me jealous, to make me beg him back, but, one thing I learned during that 4 month depression mode is that, "If it's no longer worth the fight... look for a new thing to fight for." I never gave him up, I just realized that I deserve to be treated with more respect knowing that I gave everything I could to try and fix this mess.
He's still a kid. He's playing a game I already claimed victory in. He's still close-minded about how he would go about what we had, but I admire his persistent and tireless efforts to make me beg for him, but I will never beg.

Bottom line, we all have our prides to keep, but if you value something so dearly, I would say you swallow it down. If you love someone, don't reverse psychology the person, you would just drive that person farther from you, and you would end up losing it all. When someone tells you how much they love you, believe, and don't push them away. If you want to be chased after, you shouldn't front like you don't want it. Be honest, be humble and say it upfront. :) You won't lose anything if you say it.