Fun And Entertainment

Nine Common Words Women Use

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they
know it's true!!!

Love Dress

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door, "What are you doing?" sheasked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress" the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress?" But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes
me happy too. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be
home from work any minute."

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. But on the
way home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she got
undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What in the world are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"Needs ironing! What's for supper?"

Two Sides of Story

Her Side of the Story:

He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to
meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the
girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than
I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it.

The conversation was very slow going so I thought
we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.
We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else.
I asked him, and he said no.

But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home,
I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me.
I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he
didn't say it back or anything.

We finally got back home and I was wondering if he
was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just
switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed.
Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me
and to my surprise, we made love.

But, he still seemed really distracted,
so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but
instead I just cried myself to sleep.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I
really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

The Packers lost. Got laid though."

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