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First Time Mother - What they forgot to tell you

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IN PRODUCTION

When you have your first baby, there's a lot of information, too much information actually. Here are some pointers I wish had been distilled for me.

What you definitely need to know

(My opinion of what is essential)

  • Everyone talks about trusting your instinct. Really, trust it. You will rarely be wrong...unless you're an idiot but I can't help you with that.
  • Don't be superwoman. Ask anyone and everyone for help and accept every offer. They get the warm glow of being helpful, you get a break.
  • People with children seem to chortle about lack of sleep. It is no joke. But, miraculously, you can function on a couple of hours a night.
  • People who have followed routines (or avoided them) are rabid advocates of what worked for them. It may not work for you. See the first item on this list and do what you want.

Websites I found useful

KellyMom
Absolutely THE most useful website about breastfeeding. When I couldn't find a BF (breastfeeding) counsellor to help me, KellyMom was there for me. It had an answer for virtually all of my BF questions, written in plain and simple language.
Baby Centre
Eventhough this is sponsored by Johnson's (about whom I am less than polite...don't get me started) it is a most helpful site prior to and after birth. With forums and well-written articles - I especially like the 'games to play this week' section - it's full of useful info. Some of the forums are way too busy, but if you are a bit of a niche, over 35, cloth nappy, breast feeding, mixed feeding etc, it's great. This is the UK site, I believe that have others in other countries.
Gentle Birth Method
You'll never really know, but I followed this book to help keep me fit and well during pregnancy. I had a very short, no pain relief, water birth and a small healthy baby (6lb). It helps if you believe in the evil of carbs to some extent!

Physical Things

  • Not everyone likes being pregnant. I didn't and I had a breeze of a pregnancy.
  • Not everyone gets morning sickness. This can be worrying in an 'am I pregnant' vein. Some of us are lucky, we just don't have it. Best advice if you're pregnant and you haven't got it yet, start eating (healthy things, not chocolate) every two hours. It's something to do with blood sugar and the pregnant women I knew who did this had less or no morning sickness.
  • Birth doesn't have to hurt but I really think, bar doing all the best you can to have an appropriate sized baby, this is pot luck. (Appropriate sized baby? See Dr Gowri Motha link above.) Even the women I know who had horrific births agree it is worth it. As my Mum says, you can't remember pain.
  • My hair apparently fell out a few months after my baby was born. I had very fine hair to begin with. Fortunately it normally grows back within the first year, mine already is. Medically what happens is that your pregnancy hormones don't release any hair as normal during pregnancy, when they kick back in, you shed all the hair you would have done over nine months, so it gets a bit thin.
  • They aren't joking when they tell you about pelvic floor exercises. I used the 'feeding time is squeezing time' motto. Do them and do them frequently, or you will regret it!

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jill

I am the Sales and Marketing Manager for MC Research - we make fab database publishing software. I was member of the WAA and currently undertaking a Certificate... more »

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