Five Books That Changed My Life

First on my list is The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife by James Hollis. Subtitled "Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysts", it may sound a bit daunting to those who have not delved very deeply into psychology; but on the contrary, this is quite an accessible read, with illustrative stories and anecdotes to help the reader grasp any new concept they might be struggling with.

How does it change lives? At a time (often referred to as the "midlife crisis") when many of us begin to question what our life amounts to, other than the roles we play and the material goods and wealth we may have accumulated, The Middle Passage shows us how we can take all we have learned in the past, forgive ourselves and others for mistakes made, and move forward with a new understanding of our own worth.

How did it change my life? It helped me reassess and greatly improve my relationships with my siblings, my parents and - most importantly - myself. Although I don't delve into it that often, the effect this book has had on my life is both positive and permanent.

Photo ("Midlife Crisis" board game) by Leo Reynolds, reproduced under Creative Commons licence

Another book that helped me learn to value and be kind to myself is Overcoming Depression by Paul Gilbert. Anyone who has ever suffered from serious clinical depression, or who has watched a loved one go through the unrelenting blackness of this life-sapping condition, will understand that genuinely worthwhile help is hard to find. Drugs can ease the symptoms in some circumstances, in others, therapy can put things into perspective ... even physical activity can give one's mood a boost for a while; but long-lasting, deep-reaching help that changes a person's outlook on life is a very rare thing indeed. Rare and precious.

This amazing book was, for me, a lifeline. From the very first chapter, it felt like Professor Gilbert had looked directly into my troubled mind and written what he saw there! To have someone truly understand the things that went through my head, and convince me that I was neither alone nor going mad, was extraordinarily uplifting. To know that someone else recognised the prison I was chained up in and could help me break free from it was unbelievably liberating.

How does it change lives? Using clinically-proven Cognitive Behavioural Techniques, as well as giving physiological and psychological insights into how depression works (and why it is such a devastating condition) this book takes the reader by the hand and gradually leads them through the mire of their own destructive thought patterns, ultimately leading them to a place of self-belief and greater understanding.

How did it change my life? By giving me a better, clearer understanding of what exactly is going on in my brain when depression takes over. It has also made me aware of little clues and warning signs that I can look out for in the future, so that any relapse back into depression can (hopefully) be forestalled and managed.

Photo by Michael Summers, reproduced under Creative Commons licence

This will probably be the most controversial book on my list and the one most likely to be viewed as "superstitious clap-trap"! For, while the others all have some basis in science, recognised psychological practices or just plain common sense, this book asks the reader to go beyond that and accept that the mind is a very powerful tool that can directly affect the body (both negatively and positively) to the extent of actually healing those parts that are damaged or not working properly.

It's a brave move to include this book in such a public list, as in doing so I know I risk upsetting a few people. This is not a book I would generally quote from, to anyone who had not already read it and fully understood its premise; namely, that of taking responsibility for our own ills and their remedy. To tell someone who is suffering from a condition that is congenital, terminal or debilitating in any degree that they are somehow "responsible" for it and can cure it with the power of their own mind would be crass in the extreme. That is NOT what I am doing here: I am including this book solely because it has changed MY life ... that is, after all, what this list represents.

Louise L Hay's personal story is one of struggle against the odds, triumph over adversity, inspirational growth and dedicated service to others. Although only briefly sketched in this book, her life experiences and tireless work give the reader much confidence in both her genuineness and her ability. Indeed, her clinics have changed the lives (for the better!) of innumerable people suffering from all manner of physical complaints and illnesses, and her books (this one was first published more than 25 years ago) have touched millions of others.

I have been blessed with extraordinary good health for the vast majority of my life so far, but on the few occasions when my body has given me cause for concern, my first recourse has, for many years, been to this book. Near the end of the volume, there is a table (entitled "The List") which lists a very large number of illnesses and complaints, details the possible thought patterns that may "cause" or exacerbate the symptoms, and suggests new thought patterns and affirmations for the sufferer to try. My most successful use of this table was when I developed a recurring hip problem, which was extremely painful and caused my leg to periodically "collapse" under me. On consulting "The List", I found that hip problems can be linked to "Fear of going forward in major decisions"; I immediately recognised the thought pattern, changed to the suggested new way of thinking ... and yes, as if by "magic", my hip complaint vanished. As far as I was aware, there was no other reason for the sudden curing of my complaint.

How does it change lives? Louise asks her readers - with the utmost kindness and compassion - to consider the possibility that certain negative thought patterns might be affecting their physical condition, then suggests new thought patterns and affirmations for them to try. It is a whole new approach to taking care of one's own health: if it works, the book has potentially changed people's lives for ever ... if it doesn't, then at least nothing more than the cost of a book has been lost or damaged in the process.

How did it change my life? By putting the responsibility for my health and well-being entirely in my own hands. I have never been comfortable with taking a lot of medication, so an alternative way of dealing with the (inevitable) occasional health issue was a wonderful discovery for me!

Photo ("Self Heal" plant) by Kim Fleming, reproduced under Creative Commons licence

I said in my introduction to this lens, that very often the right self-help book will find its way to us ... at the right time. Well, it certainly took several attempts for this book to find its way to me ... because I kept running away from it! I guess I just didn't really want to quit smoking, so although I had heard about this book and how easy it made the task of giving up the "weed", I simply didn't follow up any of the opportunities I was given to try it out.

Not until about ten months ago, that is. That was when I decided that I needed to stop smoking; I didn't want to, particularly, but I knew that I was really pushing my luck, health-wise, and spending far too much of my husband's hard-earned cash on it, to boot! (At the time, I was probably getting through around 30 cigarettes a day.) So I went to the local library again and ordered a copy (on returning it, by the way, I told them that EVERY library should have its own copy and should keep it on permanent, obvious display).

I read the book, from cover to cover, in about a day and a half ... and instantly quit smoking! The hardest thing, actually, was waiting (as per the author's instruction) until I had finished the book before smoking my very last cigarette. I smoked that last cigarette, broke in half the 16 remaining fags in the packet and threw the whole lot in the bin. Since that day, I have had five cigarettes (during an emotional heart-to-heart with a close family member) but have not bought another pack or felt any strong urge to take up the habit again. There are certain aspects of smoking that I quite miss (and very many that I most certainly do NOT!) but Allen Carr's words and observations stay with me and remind me that I really do not need to smoke ... it's as simple as that!

How does it change lives? I think that's fairly obvious.

How did it change my life? I think that's fairly obvious, too!

Photo by David Hegarty, reproduced under Creative Commons licence

The last book on my list is the one I am currently using most frequently ... it is more in the process of changing my life than actually meriting the status of already having changed my life, but it still definitely deserves its place on this page!

After a lifetime of the diet/binge/diet cycle - including some very successful weight-loss programmes as well as some crazy (and possibly dangerous!) desperate measures - I finally feel I have "come home" to a place where I feel entirely comfortable both with food and with myself, even though I am still considered "overweight". (To me, that is a relative term ... yes, I am over some weights, but I'm certainly under others!)

Forget dieting? ... but I've been doing it since I was 14 years old! Throw away the scales? ... but how will I know if I've lost or put on a pound? Eat whatever I want and as much as I need? ... are you kidding??? To a lifelong "fighter of the flab" these instructions appear to be crazier than any pill-popping, gunk-guzzling, lettuce-cramming starvation diet could ever be! Like a child let loose in a sweet shop, we think we would gorge ourselves (possibly to death ... or very close) on everything we could get our pudgy little hands on, if we were not following some regime or another.

But think again. This book asserts that diets don't work, that you have the built-in ability to monitor your own body's food needs, and that you don't need willpower in order to feed yourself the appropriate amount of food ... leading, eventually, to your body returning to its natural weight. With plenty of humour, fascinating anecdotes and a good deal of insight into the minds (and bodies) of long-term dieters, Ms Hirschmann and Ms Munter take the reader on a journey from which they may well return healthier, happier and (possibly) slimmer.

How does it change lives? By showing people that there is a different way to be, where food is concerned; that it is possible - indeed, it is desirable - to eat exactly what you want, in appropriate amounts, without gaining weight and without hating yourself afterwards! For lifelong weight-watchers, this is truly life transforming stuff.

How is it changing my life? By freeing me from the shackles of the diet/bing/self-loathing cycle that has blighted much of my life. I have now learned to accept myself as I am and have begun to listen to what my body tells me it wants to eat, when, and how much.

Photo by jamasca66, reproduced under Creative Commons licence

There are, of course, thousands of so-called "self-help" books available, many of which are utter tosh and should be avoided at all costs. Any that promise you, for example, untold wealth, a beautiful partner, the perfect job or a fabulous lifestyle ... just by reading them ... are only ever going to help one person: the author! Steer clear of any book that offers you a shortcut - a cheat, in other words - to whatever your heart desires.

Instead, keep an open mind when it comes to written works that offer you nothing more than a helping hand on your own journey through life; those that encourage you to think in a different way, perhaps, but still counsel you that there is work to be done. Genuine self help does not mean a quick solution, an easy answer or a way of "getting one over" on somebody else ... it simply means helping yourself to live a better, fuller, healthier, happier and more rewarding life by making a few changes to the way you act or think.

Photo by James Hagner, reproduced under Creative Commons licence