If you want to cater to the taste of those curious Celts, all you have to do is serve them cooked cod and chips, (but heaven forbid, never refer to them as French fries)!

Apparently some 260 million orders of fish and chips are sold annually in Britain (according to the seafood industry group Seafish), making it the U.K.'s top takeaway treat. Cod is the most popular choice, followed by haddock, and a full meal in London costs about £5 ($10).

"Fish and chips" wrapped in paper and sprinkled with malt vinegar - is so central to British culture that it was voted the country's favourite food (and smell) in 2006.

The real question is do posh people eat this piscatorial delight on a plate or in their hands like the rest of the plebes? Only the paparazzi can tell us ...I spy with my little eye Camilla Parker Bowles, The Duchess of Cornwall, eating a "chippie"! And if Liverpool soccer star Steven Gerrard can serve fish n' chips at his glamorous wedding last summer, then for cod's let's have it on our dinner table tonight!

The next question is, will consumers' green guilt over the state of the oceans make the chippie an endangered species? In 1927 there were 35,000 fish-and-chip restaurants in Britain, but fewer than one-third that number exist today.

The price of fish may have shot up recently as traditional fish stocks dwindle, but according to Gordon Hillan, owner of the Townhead Café in Biggar, Scotland, which last month was named fish-and-chip shop of the year, "there will always be fish and chips in this country"!

Here's a marvellous selection of clever cod quotations for those who haven't had enough fish for one day!

"Thou can'st not serve both cod and salmon." (A horrible pun from the "Holy Cow Book of SEASonal Scriptures")

"You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish!"
--William Shakespeare (1564-1616), British dramatist, poet. Falstaff, in Henry IV, Part 1, act 2, sc. 4, l. 244-5. Getting his own back by insulting Hal; "neat's tongue" means ox tongue; "stock-fish" was dried cod.

"I'd expect to be robbed in Chicago
But not in the land of the cod,
So I hope that the Cabots and Lowells
Will mention the matter to God."
-- Ogden Nash (1902-1971): David Frost and Michael Shea in "The Mid-Atlantic Companion" (1986).

"And this is good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk to the Cabots
And the Cabots talk only to God."
-- John Collins Bossidy (1860-1928): verse spoken at Holy Cross College alumni dinner in Boston, Massachusetts, 1910.

"The photographer is like the cod which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity." -- George Bernard Shaw (1956-1950): introduction to the catalogue for Alvin Langdon Coburn's exhibition at the Royal Photographic Society, 1906.

"This piece of cod passeth all understanding." -- Edwin Lutyens (1869-1944): Robert Lutyens, "Sir Edwin Lutyens" (1942).

"Newfoundland and Labrador are not richly blessed with agricultural land. The usual sources of sugar for fermentation - grapes, barley, sugar cane, or even potatoes - do not grow readily or in large quantities on the shores of Dildo Bay or in the rocky soils of Cape Chidley. Newfoundland and Labrador's traditional wealth, the mighty Cod, does not lend itself to fermentation. The resourceful fisher folk were forced to trade, and trade they did. Each year, ships loaded to the gunwales with salt cod would sail south for the port of Kingston, Jamaica, where the plentiful and inexpensive preserved fish was in great demand in the days before refrigeration. In return for their cod, the northern ships were loaded with casks of new distilled rum which would brighten the dark winter days in the outports. It was said that the long journey north in the rocking holds gave a unique character to the spirits in the casks, a character which, in modern times, the Newfoundland and Labrador Liquor Corp tries desperately to maintain through the judicious blending of Jamaican Damara rums and Newfoundland attitude. This care was rewarded in 2003 at the 14th annual International Rum Festival: Newfoundland Screech." -- anhaga, a contributor to the BBC's online source of ilnformation for all things great and small in the universe, "H2G2 - The Guide Don't Panic".

If these fail to impress you, try these pathetic piscatorial puns!

"Cod that was horrible!" (what one says after an unhappy fishing expedition, or finding oneself up the creek without a paddle)

"Cod I'm a sucker for a good fish pun!" (spoken by one who has not yet learned the subtle art of fishing for compliments but doesn't mind falling for fishy things hook, line and sinker)

"Oh My Cod! Don't believe anyone who says all goldfish look the same!" (spoken by one who does not believe in fishy wives tales)

Good Cod Alive, what's next?" (spoken by one who does not believe in mackerel miracles)

"Let's have more humor, cod knows we need it! (uttered by one who knows the difference between a fishbone and a funnybone thank cod)

"Eel join this conversation purely because your faith is in the wrong Cod, lord save your Soles" (contributed by "The Dark Lord Chuckles The Silly Piggy")

"Cod, this discussion is giving me a haddock!' (spoken by a frustrated fish out of water, better known as a Paxil-challenged Pisces Professor of Piffle and author of "Reel Ideas for Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe")

To most modest mortals, "COD" is a fish.

But to astronauts, business blokes, and other sundry souls, "COD" has an entirely different meaning, (particularly if it's an abbreviation for something beginning with the letters "C", "O", and "D").

-- COD - ICAO Airline Designator for Concordavia Limited, Ukraine

-- 1,5-CycloOctaDiene - A scientific chemical term

-- Call Of Duty - A governmental or military term

-- Canadian Oxford Dictionary - Canadian language reference book

-- Cancellation of Debt - Business term

-- Capacity On Demand - Scientific term

-- Carrier Onboard Delivery - Government/transportation term

-- Cash/Collect on Delivery - Business term

-- Cause of Death - Medical term

-- Catastropic Optical Damage - Failure mode of diode lasers

-- Central Order Desk - Business term

-- Certificate of Death - Medical term

-- Certificate of Deposit - Banking term

-- Change Of Direction - US government term

-- Chemical Oxygen Demand - Chemical/scientific term

-- City Of Dreams - Community vision/term

-- Class of Device - Digital wireless term (e.g. Bluetooth)

-- Click of Death - Symptom of a manufacturing defect in Lomega computer Zip drives

-- Cloak of Darkness - Name of Gaming Clan

-- Close Order Drill - Military (marching) term

-- Coffee of the Day - Will that be Americano, Expresso, Mocha Java, Cappucinno, Latte, or a "Double Double"?

-- Co-Occuring Disorders - Medical term

-- Cockpit Only Deorbit - National Aeronautic & Space Administration term

-- Color of the Day - Slang for Caucasian

-- Completion of Discharge - Shipping/Transportation term

-- Concise Oxford Dictionary - Official British language resource

-- Cooperative Opportunities Document - Government term

-- Correction of Deficiency - Engineering term

-- Condition On Discharge - Medical term

-- Consumed Oxygen Demand - Medical term

-- Crash On Demand - Computer terminology

-- Credit On Deposit - Academic and scientific term

-- Customer Order Display - Computer software term

But "COD" also has a myriad of meanings in the world of the arts. It's the name of a 1983 comic film, not to mention the abbreviation for "Circle of Dust", by Industrial Metal Band.

And speaking of "C.O.D.", it's the name of a song by Australian Hard Rock band AC/DC, a song by sung by Mark Mulcahy, and yet another lyric with the same name by Delbert McClinton, performed as Delbert & Glen on their self-titled debut album (1972).

"C.O.D." also stands for "City of Delusion", a song by Muse on their album "Black Holes and Revelations". "C.O.D.(Cash on Delivery)", is also the name of a Ray Cash album, while "C.O.D." is the name of an album by Saint Vitus.

"Codswallop" is one of those wonderful words that is part of our vanishing vocabulary.

Equivalent to "Balderdash", "Rubbish" and "Piffle", "Codswallop" is a rather colorful expression meaning delightful drivel, terrific trash, or not-your-average nonsense.

The first etymology claims that the word is derived from "cods", an Anglo-Saxon term meaning testicles, and when combined with another word of Anglo-Saxon origin, "wallop", meaning to scold or chastise.

Americans, not wanting to adopt British terms holus-bolus as it were, decided to drop "codswallop" preferring instead the more bellicose term, "ball-busting".

It is also said that the word "codswallop" may well have its origin in the 19th century British brewing industry. Apparently one Hiram Codd designed and patented a bottle designed specifically for carbonated beverages. Though his Codd-neck bottle was a success in the fizzy water industry, imbibers disparaged Codd's invention by saying that it was only good for "wallop", (a slang term for beer in the late-19th century). The term soon became "Codd's Wallop", synonymous with anything of low-quality or utter rubbish.

Of course, "Codswallop" and Flapdoodle", may have something more in common with aliens, Mars and conspiracy theories than say the price of the tea in China, (particularly if they are the subject of conversation between two friends who haven't got a clue what they talking about and have have spent far too much time in the pub for their own good).

"Cod Liver Oil" is a song about a traditional medicinal drink for a lot of Newfoundlanders.

Cod liver oil, rather revolting in taste, was originally prepared by curing the fish oil in the sun and then served from a bottle usually in the morning with breakfast.

The song was written by Johnny Burke (1851-1930), an Irish balladeer from St. John's, Newfoundland. It has been recorded by American folksinger Burl Ives, Oscar Brand, Val Doonican, Alan Mills, the Irish band "The Dubliners" and by Newfoundland folk rock band "Great Big Sea".

Lyrics to Cod Liver Oil

I'm a young married man that is tired of life
Ten years I've been wed to a miserable wife
She does nothing all day but sit down and cry
And prays up to Heaven that soon she will die

Chorus:

Doctor, o doctor, o dear Doctor John
Your cod liver oil is so pure and so strong
I'm afraid of me life, I'll go down in the soil
If me wife keeps on drinking your cod liver oil

Well a friend of my own came to see me one day
He told my darlin' was pining away
He afterwards told me that she would get strong
If only I'd get a bottle from dear Doctor John

Chorus:

It was then that I purchased a bottle to try
The way that she drank it you'd think she would die
I bought her another it vanished the same
O me wife she's got cod liver oil on the brain

Chorus:

That me wife loves cod liver there isn't a doubt
And a few thousand gallons has made her quite stout
And now that she's stout it's made her quite strong
And now I'm jealous of dear Doctor John

Chorus:

My house it resembles a medicine shop
It's covered with bottles from bottom to top
But then in the mornin' the kettle do boil
O you're sure it's singin' of cod liver oil

Chorus:

__________

Photo Insert Credit: Poster "Cod Liver Oil Nightmare", by Baikinange at flickr.com

For those love fishing for compliments on a hot muggy afternoon, just serve a glass of giggle juice at your next pool party.

Better known as a heavenly highball, or "Cape Cod Cocktail", it's easy to make:

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz. Vodka
4 oz. Cranberry Juice
lime wedge for garnish

Preparation:

1. Pour the ingredients into a highball glass with ice cubes.
2. Stir well.
3. Squeeze the lime juice into the drink.
4. Drop the lime wedge into the glass.