Forced Marriage - Poem and Comment

I learned first-hand about the anxiety and fear that women undergo at the prospect of being pressured into an arranged marriage unwillingly when this was explained to me by an Asian friend who was living with me at the time. She was born in England, a graduate, middle-class and with no trace of a foreign accent - in every way a lively, happy-go-lucky and normal Londoner.

But her father was very insistent that she should not marry out of their religion and, although she was quite open to this, even suggesting her parents introduce her to an appropriate prospective husband, her modern view was that she wanted to marry for love and that she would want to marry someone as modern as her, and not someone with traditional religious views.

Although not especially religious himself, her father would only introduce her to very traditional suitors, and, as she was being pernickety, he wanted to send her off to their family in Asia . One of her friends had been sent off to Asia and her passport withheld from her, to make sure she stayed there, and consequently my friend was so worried that she took her passport and left home, to prevent the same thing happening to her.

She ended up not trusting her own parents, and somewhat estranged from her father. To avoid the relationship difficulties, she left England and ended up abroad, cutting her ties to escape her family's influence. She loved her father, and this was not a desirable outcome, but she felt she had no option.

Image: Campaign Poster for UK Government Forced Marriage Campaign