Free Bereavement Verses

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Everyone Sometimes Feels At A Loss For Words

Looking for what to say when death or other loss occurs? It's hard to sort out feelings and what needs to be said. Family as well as neighbors no longer know what words will communicate the sorrow and love they feel.

Sometimes increased tension develops between loved ones making it even harder to communicate support. The newly missing member in a recent panoply of relationships seems larger in death.

In my blog, Daily Dash 1789, I talk personally about my response to a different poem by Emily Dickinson in each post. Death and specifically the death of a child are two of the top search terms connecting readers to my blog.

When my 16-year-old daughter was killed in a car wreck in 1983; when I got help to survive childhood incest; when the relationship between my 12-year-old son and me was torn mercilessly by other tragedies; when death, divorce and financial losses piled on, I walked - meditated - memorized Dickinson poems. These are some of the poems that have done the heavy-lifting.

Greeting cards that are blank inside mean the most when filled with hand-written verses and assurances that you are thinking about the person stricken by grief. You may prefer to offer part of a poem if selecting one that is long. Usually, though, the reader will have time and interest to read its entirety.

All Poems are By Emily Dickinson 

This first poem is more about the shock of great loss, than it is about feelings after a loved one dies. It could also describe post traumatic stress syndrome.

After great pain, a formal feeling comes -
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs -
The stiff Heart questions 'was it He, that bore,'
And 'Yesterday, or Centuries before'?

The Feet, mechanical, go round -
A Wooden way
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought -
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone -

This is the Hour of Lead -
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow -
First - Chill - then Stupor - then the letting go -

 

 

"Tis not that Dying hurts us so -
'Tis Living - hurts us more -
But dying - is a different way-
A kind behind the Door -

The Southern Custom - of the Bird -
That ere the Frosts are due -
Accepts a better Latitude -
We - are the Birds - that stay.

The Shiverers round Farmer's doors -
For whose reluctant Crumb -
We stipulate - till pitying Snows
Persuade our Feathers Home

 

 

"One Anguish - in a Crowd -
A minor thing - it sounds -
And yet, unto the single Doe
Attempted - of the Hounds

'Tis Terror as consummate
As Legions of Alarm
Did leap, full flanked, opon the Host -
'Tis Units - make the Swarm -

A small Leech - on the Vitals -
The sliver, in the Lung -
The Bung out - of an Artery -
Are scarce accounted - Harms -

Yet mighty - by the relation
To that Repealless thing -
A Being - impotent to end -
When once it has begun -

 

In this short Life that only lasts an hour
How much - how little - is within our power

A Cup of Hot Chocolate, or In Front of the Fireplace. Just You and The Poems of Emily Dickinson 

If my Bark sink
'Tis to another Sea -
Mortality's Ground Floor
Is Immortality -

 

The following poem to anyone whose loved one died by suicide

A not admitting of the wound
Until it grew so wide
That all my Life had entered it
And there were troughts beside -

A closing of the simple lid that opened to the sun
Until the tender Carpenter
Perpetual nail it down -

 

We miss Her (Him) - not because We see -
The Absence of an Eye -
Except it's Mind accompany -
Deprive Society

As slightly as the Routes of Stars -
Ourselves - asleep below -
We know that their superior Eyes
Include Us - as they go -

 

 

We grow accustomed to the Dark -
When Light is put away -
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Good bye -

A Moment - We uncertain step -
For newness of the night -
Then - fit our Vision to the Dark-
And meet the Road - erect -

And so of larger - Darknesses -
Those Evenings of the Brain -
When not a Moon disclose a sign -
Or Star - come out - within -

The Bravest - grope a little -
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead -
But as they learn to see -

Either the Darkness alters -
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight -
And Life steps almost straight.

 

 

We cover Thee - Sweet Face -
Not that We tire of Thee -
But that Thyself fatigue of Us -
Remember - as Thou go -
We follow Thee until
Thou notice Us - no more -
And then - reluctant - turn away
To Con Thee o'er and o'er -

And blame the scanty love
We were Content to show -
Augmented - Sweet - a Hundred fold -
If Thou would take it - now

Now I lay thee down to Sleep -
I pray the Lord thy Dust to keep -
And if thou live before thou wake -
I pray the Lord thy Soul to make -

 

A great Hope fell
You heard no noise
The Ruin was within
Oh cunning Wreck
That told no Tale
And let no Witness in

The mind was built for mighty Freight
For dread occasion planned
How often foundering at Sea
Ostensibly, on Land

 

"Only the good die young"

Not all die early, dying young -
Maturity of Fate
Is consummated equally
In Ages, or a Night

A Hoary Boy, I've known to drop
Whole statured - by the side
Of Junior of Fourscore - 'twas Act
Not Period - that died.

 

 

So much of Heaven has gone from Earth
That there must be a Heaven
If only to enclose the Saints
To Affidavit given -

The Missionary to the Mole
Must prove there is a Sky
Location doubtless he would plead
But what excuse have I?

Too much of Proof affronts Belief
The Turle will not try
Unless you leave him - then return -
And he has hauled away.

Some People Write Poetry for the First Time After the Death of a Loved One 

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Image of Light, Adieu -
Thanks for the interview -
So long - so short -
Preceptor of the whole -
Coeval Cardinal -
Impart - Depart

 

This book is a collabrative effort by men and women who have experienced the poems at a time of loss or bereavement. Please go here to buy
Wider Than the Sky: Essays and Meditations on the Healing Power of Emily Dickinson

 

Step lightly on this narrow Spot -
The Broadest Land that grows
Is not so ample as the Breast
These Emerald Seams enclose -

Step lofty for this name be told
As far as cannon dwell,
Or Flag subsist, or fame export
Her deathless Syllable

 

Giving Connects People and Honors Those We Lose 

Believe In Tomorrow National Children’s Foundation provides hospital and respite housing for critically ill children and their families. We believe keeping families together during a child’s medical crisis has a powerful influence on healing.

We at Squidoo passionately believe in creating new ways to support good causes online. By making a donation to Believe in Tomorrow from this page, you are sending money directly to that organization, in whatever amount you want. We don't touch it. We don't even see it. The author of this page doesn't either. And if you made it this far, thanks for caring.

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I Just Started a New Discussion Group for Anyone Interested in Emily Dickinson Poems 

But, especially for anyone like me who has found Dickinson poetry to be a powerhouse resource during a crisis

Each that we lose takes part of us;
A crescent still abides,
Which like the moon, some turbid night,
Is summoned by the tides

Poet of the Interior Life 

If you didn't see a poem you want for a bereaved family member or friend - 

Give me some hints here and I'll find another to include in an update.

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Squidoo Connects People 

by LoKackl

Some of the best ways to show love and compassion for family and friends who grieve are handwritten notes. Even if the words are not your own, we conv... (more)

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