Toddlers Discipline Guide for Stressed Parents
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Don't Feel Guilty If Being a Mom Stresses You Out
But the fact is that being a mom is sometimes stressful so don't feel guilty about it. The stresses of motherhood come from the constant care that children require, caring for little ones when they are ill, and sleepless nights when your baby wants to play at 2 AM rather than rest.
Running kids to sports practices, doctor appointments and classes, and sometimes just dealing with your child's moods and demands can cause you stress and even resentment. This happens to all moms, and it's normal that you will feel stress over it.
It's also normal that you may feel guilty about feeling stressed and resentful. Kids are a huge responsibility, and even though you love them and wouldn't trade them for anything, they can stress you out.
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How to De-stress if your Toddler is driving you crazy!
Sometimes you might feel that you just want to escape from it all, and actually, if your duties as a mom are getting to you, that may not be a bad idea.You can't jump the next plane for South America and never come back, but getting away for an afternoon on a regular basis can do a world of good for you and your kids.
Let grandma or grandpa sit with the children, or trade babysitting duties with a trusted friend. Get out of the house and do something you really enjoy, whether it's a quiet afternoon walk in the park, or lunch and a movie with your best friend.
Make sure you also get away once in a while with your husband for a date night. Put on a nice dress or outfit, fix your hair and makeup and go out for a quiet dinner, or a concert, or a double date with friends that you haven't seen in a while.
It's okay to get away now and then, and it will give you a chance to re-identify with yourself, your friends and your partner. You should also make time each day for yourself - even if it's just ten or fifteen minutes.
If you feel guilty about feeling stressed out at your mom duties, or if you feel guilty about spending time away or on yourself, take time to work your way through that. Guilt feelings aren't productive and they won't help you to be a better mother.
The guilt may come from the way you were raised - you might have had a mom that completely devoted herself at all times to her kids and you feel as if you are failing if you don't do that or feel resentful for having to do that.
Sometimes guilt comes from people that we compare ourselves to such as friends, neighbors or even television characters. Don't do this to yourself. Only you know how to deal with your own family and self in a way that will keep you healthy and happy.
You need to be healthy and happy in order to be a great mom. If you are really having problems with guilt feelings, you may want to work through them with a counselor or other professional.
When you become a mother, your kids become the first priority in your life, and that's as it should be. However, you still need balance. You need time alone, and you need to take care of yourself.
Don't let guilt overshadow the joy you have in life with your family and all of the other things that makes your life worthwhile to you.
How to Choose the Best Toys for Your Toddler
A Parents' Guide To Selecting Toys For Infants And Toddlers (Understanding Early Childhood)
Amazon Price: (as of 06/01/2012)
Every baby exhibits slightly different inclinations and capabilities, and there is no such thing as a "foolproof" pick.
However, by following a few basic guidelines, parents can see to it that their hard-earned money is wisely invested, rather than wasted.
With some reliable knowledge about what infants and toddlers are like at different stages of development, they can ensure that their baby will have an ample supply of appropriate and enjoyable playthings.
Be Consistent with your Toddler Discipline
The ideas suggested here are common sense, and should make life a little easier, although they may sound easy enough in theory but putting them into practice may require your full attention.
Give them a go, you will be surprised with the out come.
Routine And Regularity
Young children thrive on routine and an organized regular environment, things like specified times.
For the preschool age, for example, wake your child at the same time every morning, help if necessary to dress your child, ready for breakfast, brush teeth and have a wash, then off to school or kinder.
These routines should be a regular start to your child's day. This gives your child a routine and knows what is expected of him, when he has becomes comfortable with this give him a little extra chore to be involved in, such as make his bed or help with the breakfast dishes.
Winding down after his day is also important, have a snack ready, let him relax, do readers or other home work, give him a small job to do for you may be set out the table for the evening meal, sit and enjoy his day while at the dinner table. Allow him to watch some television, then its bath time, teeth and bed.
One Set Of Rules
Children no matter what age need one set of rules in the home from both parents. For a quick example say, young Johnny asks mum if he can go and ride his bike and mum is happy enough for him to do so. But once out side dad doesn't think it is a good time to ride his bike, Johnny gets confused and doesn't know how to listen to.
If we start chopping and changing the rules our children don't know where they stand. In so many families to day, there is little communication between parents because of the busy lifestyle or other responsible duties.
This then enforces less parental communication and giving children the upper hand in getting what they want, by playing one parent against the other because of the weakness in the understood rules not being enforced by both parents.
Parents need to stand together with team work present, agree on particular rules for the sake of offering consistency and stability, for the child's most important years.
Don't Blame Others
Many parents with out of control children are often likely to shift the blame to someone else, rather than facing the problem with the uncontrollable child / children as being their own.
Grandma is usually the one first in line, parents use grandma because granny spoils the children, but the fact of this matter is, it just isn't true. Child minders, care givers, teachers, friends and others are not raising the child, passing the buck so to speak is only satisfying your own conscience.
Toddlers have amazing abilities in working out different discipline in different situations. Of course they are well aware that different places require different behavior, and will be disciplined to suit the situation.
For instance, when your child is at school, grandma's or even at the favorite auntie's, but in the family home they know the rules are totally different, with no choice but to except them.
What is your #1 Concern With Your Toddler?
Work Towards Peace With Understanding
Toddler Discipline is a Learned Art!
B eing a parent, you are aware of certain situations that may rev up your little ones, as they seem to daily continue to stumble right into them with regular routine.We know, for instance, that tension, long outings, restrictions, as well as too much activity, all play a part in stirring up their moods.
All you can do if you are looking for a more peaceful day is understand the triggers and avoid setting them off.
Tension And Over Reacting
Although we know how tension affects our children with feeling up set. Most of our daily up sets in life, are some we have little control of.
Many families live with endless amounts of tension, trying to cope with the daily responsibilities of providing, working, money, housing and not to mention the demands of the family commitments, trying to ensure smooth sailing for all, just a few of many tensions involved in the average house hold living.
Many instances involve unnecessary tension with an over reaction towards punishment.
Say for example, if, your child was responsible for some major act earlier in the day, punishment should take place instantly, then offer forgiveness and peace.
Because some of us are very slow in forgiving the children at fault, constantly reminding the child with the negative attitude will only bring extra tension, with the out come of bad behavior to continue.
This then puts parents in a mood of enlarged tension and becomes an extremely long day for all concerned.
Learn & use Positive Parenting Tips for all the Family
Toddlers Tantrums and Other Tricks
What to do with strong willed kids
Tantrums make up a large part of the behavioral irritation suffered by most parents.There are plenty of books and theories on why tantrums are needed; the books can be a very interesting read for the academic parent.
Tantrums are known to be a favorite tool of a toddler they begin not so far from birth and become a regular part of the show until around the age of four to five, by this age most children have worked out that tantrums don't get them any glory.
Each and every child is born to be different to the next. Some children are hot tempered with a microsecond fuse, and others maybe calm easy to get along with no chance of igniting the fuse.
Not all tantrums are caused by a parent catching their sweet innocent child in mid-stream, but the toddler being frustrated at themselves for their own lack of ability to express how they feel or what they want.
Best Proven Tantrum Cures:
Curing tantrums is so simple when read from the textbook, but really difficult when you're faced with the situation and putting into practice, it's not as easy as it reads.
Two methods are generally suggested:
1. The Firm Cuddle.
2. Pretending To Ignore.
The "Firm Cuddle" Cure:
Many writers believe tantrums are a reaction to a child blowing his stack, in an irritated child, who is full of tension, with a violent manner and is full of rage.
It is also considered that as much as their behavior will be upsetting for the parents, it is by far worse for the unlucky child who is looking for their inner discipline.
The ignoring cure would be thought of as somewhat useless. The firm cuddle would be suggested in this instance, to allow the child a feeling of external control and the warmth of an understanding parent, while he calms himself.
This cure can be very effective with some children, but not so helpful to others.
The "Pretending To Ignore" Cure:
This cure is the most favorable even against the most determined child. We all know how children get bored very easily when stuck inside for the day due to the bad weather; they then revert to trying to gain as much attention from the unsuspecting parent.
Once the child has been told that magic word "No," it's like pushing the ignition button the dummy hit's the floor, followed by the rest of his body slamming to ground level.
Now is the time to hit the ignore switch and let him play out the rest of the act, even if his body does end up on the floor, it will be done with the precision of a professional stuntman to avoid injury.
But, don't panic, for the show is not over till the screaming and crying has ended.
We might well be as wild as ever on the inside but, we must remain as calm as possible on the outside and not react to this behavior.
99% of children will not get to the stage of hitting the floor, if the ignore button is activated firmly and early enough.
Once this method is chosen parent's need to use these tactics as well, where possible, divert the child's attention to something unrelated and enjoyable.
Next, if no success, completely ignore, after the explosion, "time out" is a must for the loss of their control.
Seen any good Toddler Tantrums Recently?
You probably don't need to watch a video to see a daily tantrum, but this one is funny.
Positive steps in handling a Toddlers Aggressive Behavior
Far too many of our little darlings can be over energetic and without warning become frustrated then angry, in their state of rage the loveable teddy is not safe, toys are thrown just as tossing a ball, not to mention even throwing themselves to the groun
Why? Because they are unable to compromise or reason, and by throwing teddy or other objects is much the same as throwing the tennis ball.We as parents need to change this behavior as soon as possible by firstly talking to the child, explaining his aggressive behavior is a concern, and then explain to your child the acceptable behavior expected in the future.
Parents need to work together with the same rules and be consistent to enforce the guidelines, to ensure your child is on the way to appropriate behavior.
Note: If your child's aggressive behavior continues and seems to be controlling his daily play and is disruptive to friends, family members and yourself, seek a professional opinion and advice
Prevention Is The Cure
Keeping a close eye on playtime with friends.
Put a stop to any aggressive behavior that may be present in the playtime, so as the child is not learning to display the same behavior in the future.
Don't Be The Aggressive Role Model!
The age-old expression of monkey see monkey do, comes into play here.
If our children see us hitting or throwing things around while we are angry, they then get the idea that this behavior is acceptable because mum and dad do it, so for our children to change, we the parents must also change and be the responsible role model.
Explain Why Aggression Is Not Acceptable
To help your child realise how hurtful aggressive behavior can be for both sides, the aggressor and the victim, and how that type of behavior hitting, kicking, biting or bulling can make the other child feel.
Other Ways To Solve The Problem
When aggressive behavior begins, talk to your child let him know there is other ways to deal with this unacceptable behavior, such as asking for help, letting someone know the problem instead of getting angry.
Positive Rewards
Praise your child when getting along with others, like playing fairly, taking turns or sharing, always be definite about what you're praising.
The more you praise your child with positive attention the more positive behavior will be repeated.
Keep It In The Past
If you keep telling your child about their earlier incident doesn't teach them acceptable behavior, because it then reminds the child how to be aggressive again.
Time Out
If the aggressive behavior continues, further steps are needed and Time Out may be necessary, to reinforce your message with their behavior not being accepted.
What Not To Do
There are two things to remember that you don't do: Firstly, don't use aggression to stop aggression.
Hitting your child or any other physical contact with your child will only teach your him to do the same to others in the same way.
Secondly: don't let off steam when your child does, getting angry with your child when he hits only proves he can use aggression to have power over you.
Toddler Discipline Tools
Bright Products Take Out Time Out Mats
Amazon Price: $6.50 (as of 06/01/2012)
Creating a 'space' for time out discipline is helpful and makes the 'space' PORTABLE... so take it with you when you stay away from home, or when your toddler has a sleep-over with grandparents for instance.
See some fantastic Toddler Parenting resources here, updated every week:
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Take a few minutes to leave a comment.
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Dec 22, 2009 @ 2:34 pm | delete
- Thanks for the great talk! I have a 19 month old who is going through all of this right now...and we are going through it right there with him! We try very hard to be consistent and hope that it will pay off one day.
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ChineseKitesforKids
Apr 22, 2009 @ 9:23 am | delete
- As a Mother and daycare provider I can totally relate to this lens. Although, I think the good Lord blessed me somewhat in my abilities to handle children. Might I add something to this conversation by saying a good way to eliminate a frustrated Toddler is to begin teaching the sign language? I actually wrote a squidoo lens entitled Teach Your Children Sign Language. I think it would be a good addition to this wonderful lens you have here? I know from personal experiences that babies and toddlers can become quite unruly due to the frustration in their communication? Imagine not being able to tell someone what you wanted? Thus, the life of a baby and toddler.
Anyways...you have a terrific lens here an easy 5 stars! I would be happy to stumble and favorite it. Good luck to you and God Bless.
Daycare School Online
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Susan_Carrell
Feb 27, 2009 @ 5:14 pm | delete
- Great lens! You've put together a lot of helpful information here. I'd love for you to visit my lens and say hello when you have the chance.
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mutter Jan 26, 2009 @ 2:27 pm | delete
- Your advice and resources are great. This is such a crucial stage in a child's development. If you get this bit right, the rest will be so much easier. It's been hard work at times with our four children, but looking back, it was worth the investment.
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scss May 29, 2008 @ 5:31 am | delete
- Toddlers are such a handful! You certainly have had the experience with going through four of them... thanks for the positive parenting tips.
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by dengkane
I'm a mum of 4 & I have 2 grandchildren, many times needing helpful tips on toddler discipline, so I wrote some. Hope these tips help you too.
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