Autistic Child, Great Dog & Loving Parents: A Friend Like Henry

Nuala Gardner tells a heartbreaking story of being bitten, kicked and scratched by her young son who was frightened and confused, totally unable to communicate his feelings or understand the feelings of those around him. Ms. Gardner writes "autism is diagnosed when there are deficits in three main areas that are known as the triad of impairment. The first part of the triad is an inability to communicate both verbally and nonverbally. Some autistic people may not have language, but all find nonverbal communication such as facial expressions, gestures, emotions, and tone of voice the most difficult. The second area is thought. This is often evident through lack of development in play. The third is an inability to socialize, make friends and make sense of the world we live in." Image courtesy of www.public-domain-photos.com

Because of their inability to understand the world they live in, autistic people develop strict rituals and routines. One of Dale's early routines was to go into the backyard of his home and run without stopping as though running a marathon. When his parents finally went to bring him in he cried and went into a tantrum. Often Dale would react to some small stressor. Ms Gardner recounts one time she started across the street, holding Dale's hand, when he dropped one of his favorite toys. Immediately Dale went into a tantrum and tried to pull away from his mother. She hung onto his hand but he fell down in the street and started screaming and banging his head. When in a tantrum, Ms. Gardner writes, he was incredibly strong and the only way she could keep him from hurting himself was to straddle him and place her hand under his head. When she did this, though, Dale unleashed his fury on her and started scratching, hitting and biting her. Motorists, not understanding what was going on, were yelling and honking for her to get him out of the way. Bystanders, not understanding Dale's condition, would frequently comment that he was spoiled and needed to be disciplined.

I'm going to inject a personal note here. Years ago, when I was in beauty school, we had a woman come in to have her hair done with a child that screamed nonstop. All of the students, myself included, would complain about that noisy and disruptive child. We would smirk and comment about what we'd do if the child was ours. One day the angry mother asked me if I couldn't understand that the child had a mental condition. Now I can't help but wonder if the child was autistic. The shame of that moment and the anger and frustration on that mother's face has stayed with me for 40 years. Image courtesy of www.public-domain-photos.com

Well, back to the story. Because of the stressful life, the couple decided to take a short vacation and planned to leave Dale with Jamie's cousin David. David and his wife lived in the country and had dogs. During his time there, Dale became acquainted with the dogs and learned to throw their ball for them to retrieve. When the couple returned, Ms. Gardner writes, "Jamie and I stood by in amazement as, for the very first time, our son interacted and played happily and naturally with another living being, something we'd never witnessed before."

Ms. Gardner began to read books on dogs and their reaction to children. She decided a golden retriever would be the best dog for Dale but first, she knew, she had to prepare him. Autistic children, or people, do not like change in their routine. The couple made a countdown calendar, pointing to the day they would bring the puppy home, and Dale was taken on shopping trips to get everything needed for their new dog. Ms. Gardner drew a picture of a mommy, daddy, little boy and a dog and put it on the wall.

From the time the puppy, whom Dale named Henry after his favorite Thomas the Train engine, entered their lives, Dale began to show improvement. He appeared happier, began to talk more and become more aware of things going on around him. Where in the past he had been deathly afraid of having his hair cut, now the barber would brush and take a tiny snip of Henry's hair and Dale would allow his hair to be cut. About this time they found what the couple called "the voice." Dale's dad started it with a deep voice, acting as though Henry was speaking, and Dale immediately responded. Later Jamie said something to Dale and Dale responded "No, Dad, speak like Henry." Suddenly, as long as it was Henry speaking to Dale, Dale would respond positively.

The book continues with example after example of how Dale learned from Henry. It is an amazing book and I would highly recommend it to anyone to learn more about the devastating illness of autism and how a wonderful dog taught a boy lessons that he was unable to learn from his mother and father. Image courtesy of www.public-domain-photos.com