Fantastic fun with family and friends, laugh-out-loud this Halloween with these cute jokes your kids will love!
I'm not sure if presenting my kids with this book of Halloween Jokes that I have compiled is actually in my favor. Granted I will hear something different for a while. But like with anything their funniest favorite jokes will stick and then they'll forget that it was I who actually gave them the book (With a hidden agenda obviously) and I'll have to do the listening and laughing thing again.. Oh well, the absolute joys of watching River's face when I crinkle and crease at one of her joke's. I am getting better the second time round!
I hope you'll share some of the sweet jokes on this page with your little ones. Everyone loves to laugh, more especially children, and for sure there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a belly-laugh from a child.
Enjoy!
Images are my own or sourced from Public Domain material, unless otherwise stipulated.
Will You Share?
C'mon, you know you want to!
Share your Halloween Joke here....
Vote for the funniest ones.. yes, you can vote for your own also :)
Please keep it tidy! Looking for clean, funny jokes only... Thank you...
I'll start off....
Q: Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
A: The ghoul scorer.0 points
Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
A: I don't know but it would slow him down!0 points
Q: Why did the vampire go to hospital?
A: He wanted his ghoulstones removed!0 points
“Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!”
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.
Q: What do goblins drink when they're hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-aid!!!
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
Q: what do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A: sour-puss
Q: What can't you give the headless horseman?
A: A headache.
Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Q: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.
Q: What's a zombie's favorite cold breakfast cereal?
A: Rice Creepies.
Q: What do you call the architectural plan of a haunted house?
A: A boo print.
Q: What did the scarecrow use to patch himself?
A: A pumpkin patch!!!
Q: What is the most frightful way to travel?
A: By scareplane!
Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert?
A: Chocolate covered aunts.
Q: What is a cannibal's favorite game?
A: Swallow the leader.
Q: Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
A: Eatin' Allen's.
Q: Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
A: Dinner costs an arm and a leg.
Lots of EXTRA fun at Halloween...
Just enter your search terms...
Spooktacular fun crafts and recipe ideas for your Halloween Party...
Find all the tips and techniques necessary to make a great Halloween craft party for your child. (Or yourself) you will want to Preview Halloween Recipes and CraftsThis book provides a unique selection of extremely edible and totally delicious and ghastly recipes....Try your hand at:
Edible Spiders
Eerie Eyeballs
Creepy Witches' Fingers
Jack-O-Lantern Cheese and Crackers
Spooky Sandwiches
Creepy Crispy Crunchies
Devilled Eggs
Decayed Corpse Chips with Entrail Salsa
Witches' Brew
Bleeding Human Heart
Halloween Sandwich Figures
Jack-O-Lantern Burgers
Creepy Cheese Fries
Eyeball Tacos
Gooey Pasta with Cheese
Bat Wings
Pumpkin Face Cookies
Spider Cookies
Ice Cream Filled Witches' Hats
Alien Pops
Monster Fingers
Spooky Spider Treats
Spider Web Cupcakes
and loads more...
At $19.95 there are 296 Pages of freakish fun, as well as -(yes this means MORE)
a Free ebook of Halloween Jokes
a Free ebook containing 19 Ghost Stories
2 free ebooks, one for Pumpkin Seed recipes and another for pumpkin recipes,
a free ebook of pumpkin patterns
6 Halloween Coloring and Crafts eBooks for kids
Preview all of these Halloween Crafts, Activities and Recipes
Q: What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel?
A: Bob!
Q: What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral?
A: Dead!
Q: What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
A: All of them, busses don't jump!
Q: What happened when the wizard met the witch?
A: It was love at first fright!
Q: What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard?
A: He would be egg-sterminated!
Q: If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
A: Out for the count!
Q: Two cannibals were talking. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law."
A: The 2nd replies, "So, try eating something else.
Q: "Your wife sure makes a good roast." commented the first cannibal.
A: "Yeah," replied the second. "I'm really going to miss her."
Q: Two cannibals are eating a clown.
A: One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Halloween for the Kids...
Songs, stories and much, much more...
Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A: Boo boos.
Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich.
Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal, Lake Eerie! or Mali-Boo
.Q. What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
A: The roller ghoster.
“Q: What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.”
Q: How did the ghost song and dance act make a living?
A: By appearing in television spooktaculars!
Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
A: Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!
Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: Watch the board and I'll go through it again!
Q: How do ghosts learn songs?
A: They read the sheet music!
Q: What is a ghost's favorite day of the week?
A: Frightday!
Q: Where do ghosts get an education?
A: High sghoul!
Q: What did the polite ghost say to her son?
A: Don't spook until your spooken to!
Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.
FUN-tastic Times With Family and Fiends - oops... Friends...
Q: What has a purple spotted body, ten hairy legs and big eyes on stalks?
A: i don't know either but there is one crawling up your leg!
Q: What do you say when you meet a two headed monster?
A: Hello hello!
Q: What is the best way to speak to a monster?
A: From a long way away!
Q: What is big, red and prickly, has three eyes and eats rocks?
A: A big, red, prickly three eyed rock eater!
Q: Why are monsters green?
A: Because they didn't take their travel sickness pills!
Q: Why do monsters wear glasses?
A: So they don't bump into other monsters!
Q: What kind of monster has the best hearing?
A: The eeriest!
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
A: I don't know, but it's great at chasing submarines.
Q: What did the grandfather monster say to his grandson when they hadn't seen each other for quite awhile?
.A: You gruesome.
Halloween lens?
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Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.
Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!
Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse.
Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch.
Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.
Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.
Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: "There's always broom for one more."
Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.
Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick
Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes
Join me on Twitter?
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets.
My bio...
My Halloween Lenses
This Halloween Magazine page written by
Donnette
Proud Squidoo Rocketmom and Mammoth (I like that) Squid :) I am mom to 6 blessings, a HUGE fan of REAL people... and I love to laugh! more »
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