Funeral Etiquette

How do you make your funeral poem unique and special?

There are many suggestions for thoughtful and appropriate readings in the book Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep but there are times when you want to say something more.

It's at times like this when you may want to have a special poem written for and about your loved one. A poem that uniquely expresses your sentiments and describes your thoughts.

Such a service is offered at a gift of poetry where a unique poem will be written to meet your exact requirements. The writer has many testimonials showing very high levels of satisfaction with the end result.

It's just another idea for you to consider when planning a funeral.

The contents of this book have been gathered from a wide variety of sources. The material is presented in a convenient and simple way. It is nonsectarian, very readable and useful in a wide variety of circumstances.

Funeral and Memorial Service Readings, Poems and Tributes

Hindus believe in reincarnation and the emphasis of a Hindu funeral is on the soul's onward journey to the next life - the ritual practices of Hindu funerals are therefore aimed at the liberation of the soul.

In accordance with Hindu funeral rites the deceased will be bathed by members of his or her own sex before being cremated - although the body will be touched as little as possible as it is considered to be unclean. The cremation pyre is traditionally decorated with sandalwood and flowers.

Hindu funerals are usually held within 24 hours of death and conducted by a priest and the eldest son of the deceased.

Following the cremation, immediate, close relatives mourn for a period of 10 days after which the priest performs Hindu rituals on the 11th and 12th day - the time when the soul is believed to move on to its next home. Pinda - Daan - the offering of cooked rice-balls on the 11th and 12th day of mourning - is a Hindu funeral tradition. "Pinda" is a Sanskrit word meaning balls of cooked rice and these are offered to the departed ancestors - called sa-pinda. Mourning ends on the 13th day when the thanksgiving ceremony of Kria is performed.

One ancient Hindu funeral tradition has been outlawed in modern times. Sati is now a rare and serious criminal act in India. It was a practice which saw the widow of the deceased committing suicide by throwing herself on her husband's funeral pyre.

The order of a Hindu funeral service is not prescribed and will vary depending on Country of domicile and family traditions. The deceased will usually be dressed in white, although a woman pre-deceasing her husband may be dressed in her bridal outfit which by tradition is red. The family wear white clothing during the period of official mourning.

As with all funerals, a Hindu funeral is a sad event but it must be remembered that each incarnation takes the spirit closer to Heaven and this is a matter to be celebrated.

Whilst it may be an honour to be asked to write and give the Eulogy at a funeral, it can also be an extremely stressful experience.

You don't want to get it wrong. You want to take the opportunity to say everything that needs to be said as you bid farewell to your loved one.

There is a thorough and sensitively written guide available on writing a eulogy to remember which takes you through the whole eulogy writing process - from gathering information and ideas to putting it together and delivering your message.

It's just another option to make things a little easier on yourself at a time when you may feel least able to cope with the practical steps that need to be taken.

There are many branches or schools of Buddhism and each have their own rites and rituals.

The Buddha was cremated and this is the continuing custom for those of the Buddhist faith, although some schools do practice embalming and entombment. Monks will chant at the funeral to assist the release of the spirit and the family and friends of the deceased offer candles and food to the monks in a gesture of goodwill which again helps the lingering spirit of the deceased.

In China, wealthier families will hold funerals lasting for 49 days with prayer ceremonies being held every 7 days. Variations in Buddhist tradition can mean funerals last anything between 3 and 49 days. The prayer ceremonies are performed to help the deceased make a favourable rebirth. Buddhists, like Hindus, believe in reincarnation.

Buddhists take death and dying very seriously and do whatever they can to ensure their departed relative is not left suffering torment.

In Thailand cremation will usually take place within 3 days, accompanied by music to banish sorrow. The bodies of wealthy individuals will sometimes be kept for a year or more in a special temple to allow religious rites to be performed that will benefit their spirit.

In the West, Buddhist funerals have been adapted further. Caskets (coffins) will be surrounded by photographs, candles and other religious symbols. The coffin may be open or closed depending on the particular tradition. Wearing black to a Buddhist funeral is a personal choice and not required - guidance may be offered by the family.

A Buddhist funeral ceremony will include chanting, quiet meditation, offerings and personal rituals. If the deceased's family have connections with other faiths those traditions may also be included. Congregation participation is usual.

At the end of the ceremony there is a ceremonial letting go of the deceased and a message of continuing life.

As with many religious faiths, the different parts of Judaism have adopted variations on the traditional funeral rites.

The Rabbi plays a key part in the mourning and funeral and often the synagogue will take over the arrangements.

Jewish funerals are conducted as quickly as possible after death in accordance with the principle of k'vod hamet or honouring the dead. Burials may be postponed for a day to allow relatives to travel or to avoid Shabbat but delays are generally avoided as they are considered to be a humiliation to the dead.

Cremation and embalming are forbidden under Jewish law although Reform Jews do not necessarily observe this.

The body of the deceased is ceremonially washed by members of his or her own sex and dressed in a simple white burial shroud. The body is not left alone from the time of death until the moment of burial, a tradition based on honouring the deceased.

Within traditional Jewish families clothing will be torn as a symbol of their loss. Sometimes the Rabbi will tear the clothing although Reform Jews have abandoned this tradition altogether with the Rabbi handing family members black ribbons to be pinned on the clothes of the mourners.

The funeral ceremony will usually include the recitation of Psalms, a eulogy and prayers. The casket or coffin is carried by the male members of the family. At a traditional Jewish funeral the progress of the casket from funeral service to the burial plot will stop seven times and Psalm 91 is recited as the coffin is lowered into the ground. It is traditional for the mourners to offer their condolences to the family at the grave side before washing their hands in a symbolic cleansing before leaving the cemetery.

The period of mourning or Shiva is observed for between 3 and 7 days and this is a time for family closeness and mutual support. Visitors are expected to bring food if they visit during this time. Jews do not send flowers.

The Shiva period is a time of remembrance and solace with family members drawing close to each other to mourn their loss

If you want a comprehensive guide to funeral hymns, poems, readings, quotations and a host of other things this may be just the resource you are looking for.

Being an eBook it is available for instant download which can be useful when your need is immediate.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep contains a wealth of ideas to help you with your funeral planning

Christians do not believe in reincarnation as do some of the religions we have already considered. When a Christian dies they are believed to be judged by God with the righteous going to Heaven and sinners to Hell.

The Christian faith permits both cremation and burial with the funeral usually taking place approximately one week after death. There may be a formal service in a place of worship followed by a committal ceremony at the crematorium or cemetery or the funeral may take place just at the crematorium.

The service for a Christian Funeral is taken from the Book of Common Prayer and often includes hymns, readings from Psalms and personal readings by family members. Prayers are said before the commendation and farewell prior to the committal.

In addition to Heaven and Hell Catholics also believe in Purgatory - this is the destination for those who, for one reason or another, cannot go straight to Heaven. A Catholic funeral is slightly different in that it often includes a Vigil for the Deceased which takes place the day before the actual funeral. The Priest begins the funeral with introductory rites which usually involve a procession with the coffin followed by the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist including Holy Communion. There then follows the final commendation and Rite of Committal.

Muslims view the loss of an individual to be a loss to the whole Muslim community and not just to the family - because of this it is not unusual for complete strangers to attend the funeral. Muslims are actively encouraged to attend any Muslim's funeral simply because of the very significance of such an event.

Burial will take place as soon as possible after the death, within 24 hours by preference. The body is washed and dressed in a shroud by selected members of the family and community. The funeral prayer is a Muslim ritual, performed only by Muslims, although observers are made very welcome. After the prayer is the burial.

Traditionally, women do not attend Muslim funerals. The dress code is modest with shirt and trousers for men and, if non-Muslim women are in attendance, long skirts and long sleeves worn. Shoes are removed before entering the prayer hall and socks or tights should be worn to cover the feet.

Following the ceremony in the prayer hall, the coffin or casket will be carried to the burial place, lowered into the grave and the grave filled. The Imam will say final prayers before the mourners disperse. Immediate family will often remain for a while at the graveside to receive condolences from visitors.

Worthy of note is that the funeral prayer is performed for the deceased and not to the deceased