Funny Birthday Cards

Happy Birthday Cow Card

"Hey, did that cow just flick us the udder?" Cows can have a bad day too, and when they get angry, it's easier for them to lift an udder than a hoof.

Funny Dog Birthday Card

When I first saw this card, I thought "why is that funny?" Then, I saw the dog's leg lifting up. Imagine being a fly on the wall when the family goes to cut the cake? "Why I thought you made chocolate cake, not yellow cake Sally! What a...unique...flavor." If you think about it, the dog is actually quite heroic. Being the protective, loyal dog that he is, he's putting out a potential blaze, ensuring the family is safe. Atta boy!

Funny Big Buns Birthday Card

"Would you look at the size of those buns!" With another year comes another comment in the supermarket where you mistakenly think one of the other shoppers is talking about your body parts. First it was "hey, look at the way that cottage cheese jiggles!" And who could forget when Grampa turned bright red when that Mom complained, "hey, these old nuts are way past their expiration date!"

Funny Dog Birthday Card

Ever get annoyed when someone's dog is all out of control giving you "kisses" and jumping all over you? This snide grandmother just doesn't care, and says take it, or... well, read the inside.

Funny Dog Birthday Card

Did you ever notice that at some age there are just too many candles to put on the cake, and people slowly start putting a random number of candles on instead? That's kind of the deal here.

Funny 30th Birthday Card

Turning the dreaded 3-0 is almost as bad as sprouting your first gray hair... which probably will be around the same time. This part puts it oh-so-eloquently... there's no need to torture yourself because you're turning 30. Life will do that for you.

Funny birthday card: Alien jerk

Funny Birthday Cake Card

When life hands you lemons, set them on fire. Isn't that the old saying? This old married man just says f*** it, and torches the whole thing up. Maybe even more surprising than that is the fact that the couple appears completely unfazed, like this happens every year.

Funny Pin the Tail on the Donkey Birthday Card

Revenge is a dish best served up by bitter donkeys. Donkeys have a little fun by playing pin the tail on the human on this funny birthday card.

Funny Fiesta Birthday Greeting Card

Come to America, the land of opportunity! Wait, what do you mean there's no jobs? The deficit is at what? The government is spending how much? That loaf of bread costs what? Well, it might be the land of opportunity, but it's no picnic... or fiesta.

Funny Cat and Dog Birthday Card

Cats and dogs are two totally different animals. Dogs: excited, friendly, eager, loyal. Cats: relaxed, independent, controlled. Any pet owner that's owned both of these animals can relate to this cat and dog card and their varying temperaments.

Funny Christmas Birthday Card

Funny Dog Lovers Birthday Card

Some dog owners who have owned both cats and dogs think that cats aren't half the animal that dogs are. If you're more of a dog lover than a cat person, you might just love this card.

Funny Brain Fart Birthday Card

The older you get, the more brain farts you have. Card reads: "Yet another evacuation down at the lab due to brain farts." What exactly is a brain fart? Read here about what scientists have found out brain farts.

Funny Dinosaur Birthday Card

You can't call somebody prehistoric unless they really have a T-Rex as a Dad, or some other Jurassic period animal, right? Next time someone says "who's your daddy?," feel confident that you can say with pride your daddy isn't prehistoric. Doesn't that feel good?

My personal favorite for hours of wasted time and fun is Career Builders' Monkemail. It's sounds stupid, and it is. That's the point, actually, that it's so dumb and childish that it's irresistibly funny. Go ahead, type whatever you want the monkey to say into the box and have a go at it. Then, send it to the recipient. Works like a charm!

Works great for dirty jokes, clean jokes, kids stuff, or whatever you want to send. The only problem is you have to be funny. If the monkey is having trouble saying a certain word in the preview, try sounding it out into separate words.

You'll also have the option to record by mic to use your own voice, record by phone, or use pre-recorded comments. Personally, I think the monkey using that generic voice when you type in text is funnier than the other options. However, if you're really creative, you can add your own sound effects, jokes, or amusing antics to the phone call to make it pretty funny.

You can even dress the monkey up in whatever you want to, have him or her in different settings, or change the monkey's voice. The result is hysterical, so give it a try! Even if it's not someone's birthday, you can send it as a funny card just as a goof.

Did we mention this service is free?

Send a Monk-e-mail today!