Funny Birthday Quotes for Women

Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."
- Unknown
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"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
- Mark Twain
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"They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body."
- Unknown
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"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."
- Phyllis Diller
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it
~Author Unknown
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. (change as appropriate)
~Author Unknown
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
~Larry Lorenzoni
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I like my bifocals,
my dentures fit me fine,
my hearing aid is perfect,
but Lord I miss my mind!
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finally got your head together, and now your body is falling apart
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There is a world record that
I think that you will break
Some time in the next few years -
It's "candles on a cake."
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You've had many many birthdays,
Too many for me to mention,
But there are still one or two more
Before you start to draw your pension.

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Sometimes the best things in life happen after you've done what you're "supposed" to do and are free to follow your dreams

A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for
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I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.
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A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
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Forget about the past, you cant change it,
Forget about the future, you can't predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one!