Funny One Liners - 12

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"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb." -Dark Helmet, Space Balls

"You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."
- Duck Soup (1933)

"The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses." - Love and Death (1975)

"People are always telling you that change is a good thing, but what they're really saying is that something that you didn't want to happen just happened."
- You've Got Mail (1998)

"How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't really a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to maneuver myself within any given situation?" - Scream 2 (1997)

Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding - "It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy."

Charlie: I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal.
Irene: What's it called?
Charlie: Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
- Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

"Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice." - Horse Feathers (1932)

Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jone's Diary - "It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces."

Eddie Murphy, Shrek - "You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super-fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!"

Jason Biggs, American Pie -"You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us."

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