Funny One Liners 14 - Funny Quotes about Life

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"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one." ~Erma Bombeck

"It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission." ~Grace Hopper

"The trouble with, "A place for everything and everything in its place" is that there's always more everything than places." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

"Life got so much easier when I decided to become part of the problem and not part of the solution." (via Twitter)

Honesty is the best policy. Unless, of course, you're posting a personal ad on an Internet dating site.

Some days I wake up and ask myself what I'm doing with my life. But most days my wife does it for me. (via Twitter)

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates

Wisdom is divided into two parts: having a great deal to say and not saying it.

When you don't know where you're going, every road will take you there.

When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say "Didn't you read my tweets?"

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