Best of Funny Quotes on Twitter

Best of:

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  retweet | reply EzzieB Oct 16, 2009 @ 8:37 am

  #funnyquotes: "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

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  retweet | reply EzzieB Oct 16, 2009 @ 8:36 am

  #funnyquotes: "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants".- A. Whitney Brown

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  retweet | reply MrFingerlos Oct 14, 2009 @ 11:26 pm

  "All extremists should be taken out and shot." <- #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply altier777 Oct 14, 2009 @ 8:21 am

  "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply kirtitandel Oct 13, 2009 @ 1:35 am

  I just took the IQ test and the results were negative!!! #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply kirtitandel Oct 11, 2009 @ 6:27 am

  How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand! #funnyquotes @zoooni

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  retweet | reply kirtitandel Oct 11, 2009 @ 5:55 am

  Consciousness is that annoying time between the naps! #funnyquotes @meghaverma

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  retweet | reply orcasquall Aug 29, 2009 @ 8:46 am

  "Oh I'll join the Procrastinators Club tomorrow." #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply shubhodeep_pal Aug 29, 2009 @ 4:55 am

  "Your book is both good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good." #funn

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  retweet | reply abiolaalabi Aug 28, 2009 @ 3:58 am

  RT @gigachic: #Funnyquotes: I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.-- Author Unknown

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  retweet | reply RobCoote Aug 27, 2009 @ 2:30 am

  Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. #FunnyQuotes Wendell Johnson

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  retweet | reply wika2 Aug 24, 2009 @ 6:37 pm

  "I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring." - Mitch Hedberg #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply D_Steele May 27, 2009 @ 10:37 am

  "It's like lesbian Gatorade!" -Tyese Simpson @ilikebicycles #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply iKedar May 27, 2009 @ 7:58 am

  You are in a big trouble if your college's principal has your dad's number on his speed dial. #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply michelfortin May 26, 2009 @ 6:19 pm

  Heard this today, made me laugh: "Is reading in the bathroom considered multitasking?" #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply varun_dhingra May 26, 2009 @ 1:27 am

  to err is human, to purr is cat #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply Sekretto May 22, 2009 @ 9:31 pm

  "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling." #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply David_Kaufer May 20, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

  “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” – Charles Shackleford #funnyquotes

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  retweet | reply ZnaTrainer May 15, 2009 @ 3:53 am

  "It's been so long since I made love~ can't even remember who gets tied up." ~Joan Rivers* #FunnyQuotes *Pls RT

Community write-ins:

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  retweet | reply JenJen12795 Dec 20, 2009 @ 7:33 pm

  "of all the things i've lost, I miss my mind the most" http://twttrlist.com/111k