Best of Funny Quotes on Twitter
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The Funniest Quotes Tweets By The Funniest Folks!
Funny sayings, hilarious jokes, funny quotes - what makes you laugh? I'm sure you'll find something for your brand of humor among these best funny quotes from Twitter.
Personally, I like the silly and witty sayings best. Celebrities say some hilarious things, too! And if you can't laugh at anything in this list, feel free to add your own wisecracks.
The wiser the better - get cracking, friends!
Funny Quotes Twitter List
Best of:
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- retweet | reply CarlGiwa
- "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." (Dan Quayle) http://twttrlist.com/111k
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- retweet | reply TreyPinczewski
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the fuck is the ceiling!? #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply MarvinMacatol
- Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - P. Poundstone #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply MarvinMacatol
- "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." -Lily Tomlin #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply MarvinMacatol
- Best time to give advice to children is while they're young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. -Evan Esar #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply shadowstains
- Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply Archangel3_16
- He who laughs last , didn't get it :P #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply _AWESOME_one
- "Thats not a talent, thats a birth defect" ctfu #FunnyQuotes
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- retweet | reply _ka_1
- Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply pixelmakers_uk
- #funnyQuotes "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder"
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- retweet | reply jackwpayne
- Politicians and diapers have 1 thing in common; they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. #FunnyQuotes #Fun #Plot
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- retweet | reply eachshininghour
- "She decorated her kitchen according to the color of her juice"
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- retweet | reply eachshininghour
- "Yesterday I studied for an hour, and then I found myself on the floor on a robe singing 'This Land Is Your Land' to myself"
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- retweet | reply eachshininghour
- "My #cat is a horrible #human being. Except he's not a human being. Anyways, my cat is a horrible person"
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- retweet | reply Fajriperdana
- "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply DarrenP_82
- If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply BrittasLegacy
- "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply TheQuotesBot
- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. #FunnyQuotes #Quotes
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- retweet | reply MelissaPappas
- “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” -Britney Spears #funnyquotes
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- retweet | reply Mighty_PP
- Why has the US stopped printing the Pamela Anderson Stamp? Because guys keep licking the wrong side." #funnyquotes
Community write-ins:
Write a new tweet for this list! If chefkeem likes it, it could get picked for the best-of list above.
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- retweet | reply 0_Bingo
- Just because you invented fire,doesnot mean you have to burn your fingers http://twttrlist.com/111k
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Seriously now - did you enjoy our funny quotes?
Have a funny comment?
Thanks for visiting. Don't forget to chuckle every now and then - it's inexpensive medicine!
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TransplantedSoul
Jan 27, 2012 @ 5:41 pm | delete
- These are priceless - thanks for pointing them out!
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squidooGUROO
Dec 26, 2011 @ 7:33 pm | delete
- Great fun !
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jadehorseshoe
Dec 24, 2011 @ 3:46 pm | delete
- ANOTHER Fun Lens!
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paydayadvanceuk
Dec 14, 2011 @ 4:50 pm | delete
- Haha.. That's so funny... I love this one... ?I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.? -Britney Spears Haha...
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RodLambert
Dec 13, 2011 @ 11:58 am | delete
- You certaintly made me laugh!
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- chefkeem
- aka Chef Keem
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