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Funny Vampire Jokes, Gifts and Other Vampire Surprises

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Welcome To My Collection Of Funny Vampire Items

Why did the vampire cross the road? Why is Twilight so popular? Vampires are in, being a vampire is cool. Anything popular draws some humor. Here is my collection of funny vampire jokes, gifts, costumes and other surprises.

If you are a Twilight fan, I have also provided some Twilight fun, in the form of books, life-size Twilight cast stand ups and even a funny vampire spoof video song.

Vampires aren't just for Halloween anymore. Come and join the fun!

Photo used with permission, licensed under creative commons by rossharmes

Contents at a Glance

Gotta Love These Funny Vampire Shirts
The Vampire's Kiss
Are You A Vampire?
Kids Like Funny Vampire Shirts Too!
What do vampires have at ten o'clock eve...
I Love This Princess Vampira Costume

How do you piss off a vampire?

Go to his house and install a skylight!

Gotta Love These Funny Vampire Shirts

These are from a variety of Zazzle artists. Click on your favorites and visit the artist's page

The Vampire's Kiss

Photo used with permission, licensed under creative commons by Juliana Coutinho

Are You A Vampire?

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Kids Like Funny Vampire Shirts Too!

If You Don't Love It - Zazzle Will Take it Back
See their webpage for details
or visit my store, Albom Design on Zazzle

What do vampires have at ten o'clock every morning?

A coffin break

I Love This Princess Vampira Costume

Perfect for funny vampire play

Even your little one can be a vampire with this beautiful Princess Vampira gown from Hearth Song. "Beware this powerful villainess and her evil temptations." .

Made in the USA. From:

Why Did the Vampire Cross the Road?

You Tell Us!

Here is your chance to tell us. Have a look at the illustration, or close your eyes and just imagine the question. Add the first thing that comes to your mind, and lets see what type of list we can build? (G-Rated comments only, all others will be removed)

Why Did the Vampire Cross the Road
(add your best caption):

1

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Vote Down

To get a bite to eat

3 points

2

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To get away from the garlic

1 point

3

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Vote Down

To get his favorite cocktail -a "bloody mary"

1 point

4

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Vote Down

To get to the other side

0 points

Share this list
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Grab this list

Be Mine Forever!

This Valentine's Day bag is funny all year long.

Be Mine forever bag by KLAATUWI

Hanging With Some Vampires?

Don't forget your vampire bite tattoos

From a happy customer:
"I bought these vampire bite tattoos for my Sookie Stackhouse costume for Halloween and EVERYONE thought they looked very real and it freaked many people out. Easy to apply and take off (I used rubbing alcohol) and there are instructions on the package. They were also delivered very fast. I would definitely buy these again if I needed them!"

Tattoo Vampire Bite Fx

Amazon Price: $0.40 (as of 05/31/2012)
List Price:

What type of coffee does a vampire drink?

Decoffinated

Funny Little Vampire Baby Personality Pacifier

Here's a Closer View

Funny Little Vampire Baby Personality Pacifier

Amazon Price: $1.49 (as of 05/31/2012)

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

How About A Funny Vampire Costume

Something for the men and boys

What do you give a vampire with a cold?

Coffin Drops

Check Out These Funny Vampire Books

If the one you want isn't here, use the search box to refine the selections

Having a Party?

Don't miss these funny vampire invitations

Sexy Gothic Vamp Halloween Party Invitation invitation

Join Me For aBite Halloween Vampire Party Template invitation

The Classic Vampire Story

Not funny, but had to be here

Dracula (Collector's Library)

by: Bram Stoker

Amazon Price: $6.11 (as of 05/31/2012)
List Price: $9.95

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Twilight Fun

Check Out This Funny Vampire Video

Twilight Spoof in a Song

The Twilight Saga Collection

The perfect gift for vampires and vampire fans

From an Amazon customer:
"This is a value buy for those who are contemplating sinking their teeth [pun intended] into Stephenie Meyers' Twilight series as it not only offers all four books, i.e. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn for a great price, they all come housed in a gorgeous keepsake box. I have all four of the books in hardcover, but I purchased them individually as they were released, and am seriously contemplating getting this boxed set which I can keep as a souvenir, and then use the other books as my reading copies."

The Twilight Saga Collection

by: Stephenie Meyer

Amazon Price: $29.99 (as of 05/31/2012)

This stunning set, complete with all four hardcover books as well as four collectible prints, makes the perfect gift for fans of the bestselling vampire love story.

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

No Vampire Collection would be Complete without the Twilight Collections

Eligible for free shipping when linked from here to Amazon

Lifesize Stand Up of Your Favorite Twilight Stars

(I know this is serious business, but I think lifesize standups are pretty funny!)

If you are truly a Twilight Vampire fan, you might want to have a look at these lifesize stand ups, or see the entire collection of Twilight Posters at AllPosters

Buy at AllPosters.com

Or check get your favorite character in life size, just click on the picture to visit the AllPosters Page:

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound!

Want More Vampire Jokes?

Check out these sites

Vampire Jokes: Here is a collection of vampire jokes for you to enjoy.
Halloween Jokes - Vampire Jokes: Halloween Online - Your complete Guide to Everything Halloween
Vampire Jokes: Dracula Riddles by Dimi Luna
vampire jokes - dracula jokes - scary jokes: vampire and count dracula jokes and humor in our scary jokes section, good clean fun for kids and adults of all ages !! and more fun jokes, puns, riddles and funny things
twilight jokes - Polyvore: Twilight jokes

Need More Laughs?

For more vampire fun and a whole lot more

Any Funny Vampires Being Auctioned at eBay?

Updates often

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Reply

miaponzo May 24, 2011 @ 4:37 am | delete

They don't call me networkvampire on Twitter for nothing!!!!! Go check out my teeth!

Reply

jptanabe Feb 9, 2011 @ 6:15 pm | delete

Nice collection of vampire jokes and fashions.

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SacredCynWear Aug 31, 2010 @ 2:52 am | delete

This is a great lens! I am going to post it on my Vampire fashion lens, so all the vampires who are looking for clothing will remember to laugh every now and then!