Funny 911 Calls

K-Tel Presents: More Crazy 911 Emergency

Amazon Price: $0.01 (as of 02/15/2012)

1. Meow
2. Stuck Guy
3. Gagged
4. Just the Fax
5. Gone Trouble
6. Little Old Lady
7. Butchie Is Gone
8. CD Thing
9. The Police Are Here
10. Arm Robbery
11. You're in Charge
12. I'm Choking Here
13. Missing Person
14. Elephant
15. Salon
16. Pickup Man
17. Dick Waver
18. Can't Get Out
19. Butterflies

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K-Tel Presents: Crazy 911 Calls

Amazon Price: $6.99 (as of 02/15/2012)

1. Deer Trouble
2. He's Gone
3. A Bad Trip
4. Homework Help
5. Disconnected
6. A Big Nut
7. Bomb Sack
8. Taken Away
9. UFO Man
10. Taxi Taxi
11. Red and Green
12. Bovine Blues
13. False Alarm
14. In the Bag
15. Rolling Call
16. Big Birds
17. Clean-Up
18. Scratch It
19. Slow Down
20. Oh No!

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What's the Number for 911?: America's Wackiest 911 Calls

by: Leland Gregory

Amazon Price: $3.45 (as of 02/15/2012)

Gosh this is a funny book! If you ever wondered what kinds of nonsense clutters up the emergency phone systems, then look no further. You get over 220 pages of short snappy stories about folks whose idea of an "emergency" is ... well ... here are some examples:

having the hiccups ... too few towels in hotel room ... pet parrot flying outside ... not finding an open gas station ... needing a smoke alarm battery ... hunger for a pizza ... neighbor's dog barking ... wondering when is Cinco de Mayo ... checking lottery winners ... not knowing the police phone number

One great story is on page 60:

"Police in Houma, Louisiana, issued a citation in April 1992 to Velma Ann Wantlin for improper use of the 911 emergency line. Wantlin, twenty-eight at the time, called 911 to report the following emergency situation: her husband was preventing her from watching the season finale of Knotts Landing."

Most of the stories and quotes from real callers range from silly to quirky to bizarre. The final chapter relates the actual 911 line chatter in a situation that literally blows up at the end -- a dramatic, sobering way to end the book. (See page 223.)

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Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat

by: Caroline Burau

Amazon Price: $9.67 (as of 02/15/2012)

Having worked as a 911 dispatcher, I cannot say enough good things about Ms. Burau's book. It is difficult to put into words what the job is like, the sorts of feelings and experiences dispatchers get, and Ms. Burau does an amazing job of explaining it. I found myself nodding in agreement (or laughing out loud,) seeing my own experiences in the events she narrates.

By no means is her account a whitewash or festival of warm fuzzies; some of the events she describes (and her and other dispatchers' reactions to those events) may be shocking or disturbing to those who haven't been there. This doesn't make those events or reactions any less real, or any less common in other police departments or dispatch centers.

Dispatchers are sometimes overlooked in the organization of police departments; many people assume the person they speak to on the other end of 911 is a police officer. Ms. Burau does an exceedingly good job of opening up this sub-society. Highly recommended, both for laypersons outside the field who want to understand what it's like in a 911 comm center, and for dispatchers who want a mostly humorous, sympathetic look at what we choose to do for a living. This is the best written account of 911 dispatching I've read.

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Wacky 911 (Uncn)

Amazon Price: $0.98 (as of 02/15/2012)

1. False Alarm
2. Butterflies
3. Deer Trouble
4. Messing Around
5. Stuck Guy
6. Yelling Woman
7. Dick Small
8. Swinging
9. Truck Trouble
10. Blanket Goof
11. Butt Laser
12. People Cook
13. Bad Vibrations
14. Voodoo
15. Slow Down
16. Meow
17. Deer Trouble #2

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