Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon who take great delight in identifying eccentric and odd occasions to celebrate every month of the year.

Let's face it, when Flora, the Roman fertility goddess comes out to play, you know it must be the merry month of May. Frankly, who else is responsible for calling on the bees to pollinate the flowers, the kids to frolic about in the tulip beds, and grown-ups to frolic about frivolously in the hollyfuds for pity's sake?

"The Lusty Month of May ", (by Alan J. Lerner), from the musical, "Camelot":

It's May, It's May,
The lusty month of May
That darling month when everyone goes
Blissfully astray
It's time to do
A wretched thing or two
And try to make each precious day
One you'll always rue...
The birds and bees
With all of their vast
Amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast
The lusty month of May...

On the other hand, for pessimistic or pragmatic personalities who rarely enjoy fun and frolic, there is one day they can celebrate with gusto, "Toot Your Own Horn Day", or if nothing else...check out "Womanless Beauty Pageant" sometime in May (in Greenville, South Carolina)!

May 1: May Pole Dancing Appreciation Day (put on your dancing shoes, it's time to trip the light fantastic, that doesn't mean gawking at the girls in g-strings); if that doesn't grab your fancy try Toad Suck Daze (May 2-4), Arkansas' most popular festival.

May 2: Whoohoo Awareness Day (now's your time to shine the spotlight on anyone you know with questionable attitudes, unusual proclivities, and tasteless pastimes)

May 3: International SNAFU Day (it's definitely time to celebrate those silly screw-ups that truly drive people right up the wall, around the bend, and maybe even some into the looney bin!)

May 4: Mother May I Day (time to honor "Momma Bears", "Give Me a Break Goddesses" or, more to the point, the wonder-women who brought far too many 'bundles of joy' into the world, and now just want oodles of rest and relaxation!)

May 5: Polka Dot & Plaid Day (another mirthful mix and match day - a great way to make a fashion statement by wearing any weird wardrobe you please!)

May 6: Toot Your Own Horn Day (time to flaunt every frigging diploma/award you've got - like "Best Kisser in the World", "First Class Stud" or "Grade 2 Grad")

May 7: Party Pooper Recognition Day (time to suggest that all the wet-blanket wunderkinds you know visit a God-forsaken place like Zap, North Dakota)

May 8: You Deal With It Day (the one occasion when all those "yes" folk get to surprise everyone by declaring "No" - "Deal With It", I'm going fishing today, so there!)

May 9: Broccoli & Brussel Sprout Appreciation Day (for those who haven't got a clue what frigging finger-foods are, or how to make a heart-healthy veggie burger thank you very much!)

May 10: One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater Day (time to discover what crazy critter doesn't hang out in a petting zoo, inhabit a fish tank, or live on Mars)

May 11: National Nosey-Parker Day (in recognition of all the interlopers, meddlers and busybodies you know who couldn't survive without a piece of juicy gossip)

May 12: Pluto Recognition Day (who says this tiny, remote planet in our solar system that gives Scorpios a reason for being and time-travelers a great excuse to visit odd places doesn't deserve a litte R-E-S-P-E-C-T?)

May 13: Useless Hand-Made Gift Day (what a fortunate occasion to dream up something something utterly abominable to present as a token of affection from a loopy or long-lost friend)

May 14: Frisbee Golf Tournament Day (if your boomerang won't come back, you haven't a clue how to body surf, and you're tired of whacking a little white ball into 18 freaking tiny holes ...why not try a low-impact sport that doesn't require a helmet, shoulder pads or a big bank account?)

May 15: House of Cards Recognition Day (time to build a house of cards; then huff, puff and blow the bleeping thing down like Billy Goat Gruff -- lighten up will you!)

May 16: Bounce Something on Your Knee Day (a great way to keep a pesky pooch or a chortle-challenged child quiet, before you wring its little neck!)

May 17: Unplug It Day (what a wonderful opportunity to rid yourself of diversionary devices be they wicked wireless whatnots or TV's and telephones for at least 24 hours)

May 18: Jump Seat & Bonnet Appreciation Day (well it's about time to show off your vintage vocabulary as well as flaunt your fabulous knowledge of flivvers)

May 19: Chewing Gum Awareness Day (what a great way taste all those fruity flavors and then leave a wonderful wad behind on a freshly-painted park bench, a waxed hard-wood floor, or even a bedpost overnight)

May 20: Polka Dot Bikini & Bedazzling Brief Day (for all those funky folk who need an excuse to play that old "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot" tune or participate in a local "Underwear Affair" fundraising walkathon for diseases below the belt)

May 21: Stilts & Pogo Jumping Day (for anyone who can't walk on water but needs something a tad extreme to impress their wimpy relatives, boring friends, or last but not least, a sees-all-knows-all boss)

May 22: Gemini Recognition Day (ever wondered who adores the color orange, hates being confined to bed, and hankers for a game of darts, snooker, or table tennis at midnight?)

May 23: National Ninnyhammer Day (time to honor all the Naysayers, Nimrods, and Nit-Pickers in your circle of fly-by-night friends and fickle family members)

May 24: Cow Pie Appreciation Day (okay, so you're lactose intolerant and your hay fever allergy makes you grumpy ...the least you can do is quit complaining and moo right along with a whole bunch of other color-coordinated cows doing what comes naturally in the annual Island Farms "Victoria Day" parade in Victoria, BC, Canada)

May 25: Silly Putty Appreciation Day (okay, so you can't color inside the lines, but manipulating "Silly Putty" ...well that takes education, skill, and experience ...and that doesn't tickle your funnybone now does it?)

May 26: Bubble Blowing Challenge (and you thought this was a contest for grownups with short-attention spans, a large lung capacity, and an abiding interest in environmentally-friendly dish detergents)

May 27: Smack Your Lips Day (a great opportunity for those who are reluctant to blow the whistle, those who avoid whistling while they work, and those who are too afraid to whistle in the dark)

May 28: Flashlight Tag Day (for all those A-type personalities who need to overcome their anxiety about monsters under the bed or extra-terrestrials out for an evening stroll)

May 29: "Groovy" Dance Day (time to teach someone you know with two large left feet how to do the "frug", the "shimmy", the "monkey", the "swim", the "loco-motion", the "bus stop" and of course the ever-popular but classic "fox trot")

May 30: Paint-By-Numbers Day (so, you aren't Rembrandt ...but if you can read, count and aren't color-blind, you'll find this a whole lot more entertaining than watching grass grow)

May 31: Pied Piper & Pig-In-A-Poke Recognition Day (time to nominate anyone you know who truly deserves the prestigious "Pinhead of the Year Award")

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Photo Insert Credit: Kelley Kuechle's photostream on flickr.com

Compiled by the Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by The Earl of Craboon, a lively lollygagging twosome of twits who hang out in the Court of Quintessentially Quirky Quaffers & Quidnuncs

April is the month when fools rush in where wise men never go and angels fear to tread. (And frankly, anywhere wise men and angels hang out together would probably not satisfy the needs of a merry band of mischievous munchkins looking for a good time.)

So without further ado, here is the ludicrous lineup of odd, offbeat or outrageous things to keep you busy for all of April.

When in doubt, always remember that April is Silly Suds Month, (33 beer festivals to choose from around the globe. All you have to do is show up, tell a few jokes, and get yourself tiddly like all those other crazy tipplers tip toeing through the tulips!)

April 1: Hilarious Haberdashery, (what do you mean you haven't picked out a great big fool's cap; (haven't you heard, you're going to wear one on your little pinhead for the next 30 days).

April 6: Fun & Frolicking Friday, (time to blow bubbles in your bathtub and organize a chewing gum contest to see who can blow up the largest bubble without getting it stuck to a face).

April 7: SPAMARAMA, (you'll have to go Austin, Texas to bond with other weird folks who can't get enough of those crazy cook-offs not to mention gobbling down some very questionable edible pork products; oh and by the way, beware of bull burgers!)

April 8: Energizer Bunny Appreciation Day, (a fine occasion to honor the long-life battery that keeps your digital doodads from wimping out on you at an inopportune moment).

April 13-15: Annual Dolly Parade, (so slip on your wild Barbie and Ken togs or Beanie-Baby outfits, and join the fantastically funny folks in Pigeon Forge, TN).

April 20 - 26: Cowboy Poetry Week (never ask a cowpoke the size of his spread...but give him a chance to show off his silver tongue...well that's another matter!)

April 20: Bring On The Bull! (wow, you can pay tribute to your Taurus friends and family members, the ones who're boring and insensitive, not to mention materialistic if not a tad self-indulgent and stubborn. They have one positive quality, they can cook!)

April 22: Earth Day, (time to check and see who has the best recipe for mud-pies, or who has tasted the forbidden fruit - earth apples naturally!)

April 23: Administrative Professional Day, (time to tie up a bureaucrat or "civil" servant in some fancy red duct tape and auction them off to anyone willing to take them).

April 30: Beltane Fire Festival, (you'll need a kilt, a caber, and some fire-crackers to attend this Scottish celebration marking the beginning in spring; hopefully the Edinburgh Council won't ban it like they have for the last few years!)

Welcome to March Madness Events and Merriment Celebrations

Pack your troubles away in your old kit bag or toss them into a pity pot...because have we got things to do to keep you smiling this month!

March 1: Mad Hatter Appreciation Day (If you're late for a very important date who really cares? Put on your old TV rabbit ears, trap-door sleepers, and of wear a terrific smile!)

March 2: Pisces Awareness Day (If you see a floundering fish or one swimming in two directions, you've hooked a Pisces; throw it back in the drink and try to jig a puffer!)

March 3: Mops & Mustachios Day (Time to wax poetic with your mop or wear a handle-bar mustache to impress a secret admirer or fend off the Hobgoblin from Heck)

March 4: Everyone's Entitled To My Opinion Day (Be a bit lippy and ludicrous, or simply sally forth and add your two cents worth about the level of customer service at your local Passion Pit-Stop or your less than satisfactory trip to "Cloud Nine"!)

March 5: Fluff Appreciation Day (In honor of all those who excel in the art of bureaucratic bafflegab, delightful double-speak, and silver-tongued titillations)

March 6: Bagpipe Music Appreciation Day (A fine way to appreciate the mellifluous melodies of gifted wind bags and ancient bladders ...knowing full well why someone invented a convenient dampening device commonly known as "ear-plugs")

March 7: Toss the Taboo Day (It's time to loosen your collar, let your hair down, milk a sacred cow for all it's worth, or break another house/workplace rule just for fun!)

March 8: International Bored Doe and Witty Wench Day (It's "Queen of Sheba" appreciation day ...time to use your credit card to buy all those sparkly little gems for sale on the TV Shopping Channel!)

March 9: National Quagmire Understanding Day (Time to honor all the "stick-in-the-muds" you know in the great swamp, the blessed bog or the quick-sand-box of life ...and don't forget to say Hello and wave as you walk, jog or race by with a big beautiful smile on your face!)

March 10: Podunk Place Appreciation Day (A skill-testing occasion to see how many small, remote towns with weird names you can come up with, no help from the peanut gallery please!)

March 11. Fabulous Fortune Cookie Day (It's time to pay tribute to those tasteless wisecracking tidbits you crack open after a meal of tofu and stir-fried thingamabobs)

March 12: Love-Handle & Wattle Appreciation Day (Never too late to flaunt your flab is it? Just make sure that it's legal ...you don't want a night in the slammer do you!)

March 13: Slinky Toy Day (A wonderful way to bring back munchkin memories or amuse your bored, adult, inner nitwit when all hell is breaking lose at home or at work)

March 14: Silly Systems-Thinking Day (Time to write easy-to-understand instructions so any baby-boomer you know can program his/her brand-new DVD player or assemble a piece of ready-to-assemble furniture without losing one's hair or sanity)

March 15: Ides of March (Time to don your toga or toad outfit and spit tacks, peas or sunflower seeds at anyone you please ...if that doesn't work, get on your cell phone and do your rendition of, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear")

March 16: Cowabunga Day (Okay, now that you've strapped on your leather chaps and sharp spurs, you can tell our favorite cow pie story or how we should celebrate the 2009 Year of the Ox!)

March 17. Little Leprechaun Day (Time to put on your hunter green tights, color your hair lime green, and spread lots of blarney in honor of a dandy dude named "St. Patrick" or was it "Dermot the Love Spot"?)

March 18: Flying Saucer Appreciation Day (The only day when everyone can be an expert about strange goings on in the universe, crop circles, or the basement next door)

March 19. Dweeb Appreciation Day (In recognition of all the wonky wunderkinds you know who haven't got a clue how to install computer software, paint-by-numbers or fill-in-the-blanks correctly)

March 20: Red Dwarf & Green Knight Appreciation Day (In honor of the first day of spring, and odd things going on in the Forest among the weird keepers of the Holy Grail)

March 21: Give-Me-A-Break Day (A truly exceptional occasion to cash in on your "Get Out of Jail" free card, or capitalize on your "Frequent Flubber Card")

March 22: Call in Well Day (Take advantage of your frightfully fabulous mental health these days and just goof-off for an afternoon at the beach, on the golf course, or sitting in your throne room reading your favorite comic books and munching on junk food)

March 23: Of Course I'm Right Day (Finally, it's your turn to be King Canute or Queen Bee of the Castle, as long as you remember, there's a price to pay for everything! Like, tomorrow does not have your name written all over it!!)

March 24: Wonder Wabbit Day (Now's your time to go hopping down the Bunny Trail and munch on as many carrots as you want...make that chocolate!)

March 25. Dingbat Fellowship Day (Time to honor all the off-the-wall stuff you love like that long-lost Davy Crockett hat, those pink shoe laces, or that plastic hoola hoop you've got hidden in the closet)

March 26: Soppy Song Award Day (Time to honor all those maudlin melodies, long-winded lyrics, or soppy songs that should never have been written)

March 27: Aries Appreciation Day (In honor of all those Mars-ruled brash, bossy beasts or barn-burning types you know -- not to be confused with other the 'ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong' folk among your quaint circle of acquaintances)

March 28. Long Neck & Long Nose Appreciation Day (This is a rather fine way to honor giraffes, turkeys, or beasts with long snouts in the animal kingdom)

March 29: Tacky Trophy Day (A terrific time to craft your own tacky trophy or titillating talking stick designed to honor anyone who tells the best jokes or funny anecdotes in town)

March 30. Bedside & Biffy Book Awareness Day (An excellent occasion to compare with family, friends and colleagues, just what breathtakingly bodacious boudoir books that they're reading these days.)

March 31. Boffola Recognition Day (Time to use those gag lines that have been clogging up your email inbox - but only if they they're guaranteed to produce a hearty laugh or make a big hit in your cube farm or barnyard of life)

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Note: Other alternative quirky calendar events include:

March 10. "International Day of Awesomeness" (a.k.a. 'Nobody's Perfect Day'!)

March 15. "Everything You Think Is Wrong Day" (Aren't perfectionists a bunch of party poopers!) -- If that doesn't tickle your funnybone, why not join in the "Brides of March", (a curious if not cacophonic event where both genders dress up and poke fun at the mirth surrounding the marvels of matrimony!)

March 20. "Festival of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day" (Hooray for the little green gremlins with four eyes, one horn, a razar-sharp tail!)

March 22. "International Pillow Fight Day" (When everyone gets to yell "Horsefeathers" and whomp their friends and foes with glee!)

March 26. Make Up Your Own Holiday Day (In honor of all the contrarians, non-conformists, and pecular people you know who want they very own celebration thank you very much!)

March 31. Post Something On the Net And See If Anyone Believes It Day (Who say's this isn't a true test of 'truthiness'?)

About the Authors: Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and Lord Earl Craboon are frequent-fops-for-hire who, from time to time, provide much needed comic relief in the constipated Court of The Quipping Queen".

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees (referred to in polite circles as the Duchess of Dither) and edited by Lord Earl Craboon (better known in the upper echelons of society as the Duke of Doorknobs)

Why is everyone so happy?

Because it's festive, flirtatious and frolicking February of course -- ahem ...the shortest month of the year. Time to sample some frisky fortune cookies for a change.

So, without further adieu, here's what you can do to keep yourself tickled pink for the entire month of February:

February 1: International Daydreaming Day (time to see who can gaze vacantly into space the longest while listening to a long-winded lecture or munching on molecules)

February 2: Hug a Hog Day (time to press the flesh with grunt and groan types who seem to spend most of their time in the barnyard of life chasing their own shadows)

February 3: Aquarius Heritage Day (beware of water carrying geniuses eating unusual food and are a tad independent, mentally odd, tactless, or eccentric for their own good)

February 4: National 'Pass the Buck Day' (a wonderful way to honor those who are forever delegating dirty jobs to other poor souls lower down the food chain of life)

February 5: Whoop-De-Doo Day (are you ready to build sandcastles in the air, draw outside the lines, and share your favorite wind-up toys with other grown-up kids at work?)

February 6: Ding Dong Appreciation Day (when was the last time you invited a bible-thumper or political candidate into your home to discuss the future of gaskets or grommets?)

February 7: Let's Hear It For Rats Day (it's Chinese Lunary Year of the Rat...so bring some cheese to celebrate!)

February 8: Elephant in the Living Room Appreciation Day (in honor of all sorts of big bogies or couch critters we ignore, and we'd just as soon others did too please!)

February 9: Cock-O'-The Walk Day (your frisky fortune cookie says it's time to pay tribute to all the red roosters you know who are brave, motivated, proud, romantic, and a tad blunt ...if truth be told )

February 10: Show & Tell Day (okay it's about time to haul out your really neat travel slide show of your trip to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with spell-binding commentary!)

February 11: The-Right-Way-to-Do-It Day (there's only one way to install a roll of toilet paper roll so that falls correctly!)

February 12: First-in-Line Day (If your surname name doesn't begin with "X", "Y" or "Z", step to the back of the line!!)

February 13: Free Lunch Day (time to collect all those outstanding IOUs - wow are you ever lucky!)

February 14: Slings & Arrows of Outrageous Fortune Day (how else do you expect to bewitch a beautiful beast or bag a box of chocolates?)

February 15: Fly Your Own Flag Day (now where did I put that "Jolly Roger"?)

February 16: Gonad Games Day (a.k.a. Potentate Pissing Contests)

February 17: Red Devil Awareness Day (time to sprout horns, wear red tights and carry a booming great pitchfork to scare the heck out of your favorite Nemesis)

February 18: Dr. Seuss Appreciation Day (you'll need all the help you can get just to speak in rhymes all day long)

February 19: Hopscotch Awareness Day (time to go back to recess time; hope you can hop, skip and jump or at least down a few shots of scotch or suds); if you don't like "Hopscotch" celebrate "Temporary Insanity Day" instead!

February 20: Finger Food Appreciation Day (great news for weight-watchers, picky eaters, or those wanting to ditch dishwashing duty)

February 21: Chocolate Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (in honor of taboo treats parents tell you not to eat for the first meal of the day)

February 22: Galoshes, Gumboots & Go-Go Boots Day (time to pay homage to forgotten footwear worn by damsels-in-distress or devil-may-care types)

February 23: Divestment Awareness Day (time to indulge in nothing but Naked Truths about an entertaining Emperor without not so much as a figleaf to his name)

February 24: Fake or Flaunt It Day (the only day you get to act any way you please, provided of course you're willing to pay the consequences of your foolish little escapades)

February 25: Pity Pot Day (time to trade in or toss your troubles away?)

February 26: Mental Floss Day (the only occasion you can tell "Knock-Knock jokes" all you want without fear of harrassment)

February 27: Break Open the Piggy-Bank Day(whoopee no time like the present to splurge on a great cause...you!)

February 28: Small Planet Appreciation Day (ever wonder what the world would be like without Venus and Mars gumming up the works?)

February 29: Leap Day (time to find a Leap Year baby and celebrate with a game of "Leap Frog" or "Leaping To Conclusions", if you're not in great shape!)

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees, in polite circles known as the Duchess of Dither, and Lord Earl Craboon, referred to as the Duke of Doorknobs, (a curious couple occupying a sandcastle somewhere in the Queendom of Quirky).

January is a rather bleak, blessedly boring, and some might even go so far as to say a dreadfully dull month.

On the other hand, peculiar people often find delight in all manner of things odd, peculiar, or downright strange. This is why we've spent a good deal of time tracking down some rather unique things to do to lighten one's sagging spirits at this time of year.

For those with short attention spans, tendencies to day dream frequently, or desires that extend beyond watching paint dry, we recommend participating in one of this month's unusual events:

The Geek Dinner in Cape Town, South Africa, (where no one has figured out the date, time, venue or menu for this splendid eccentric event...in keeping with the Geek way of living life!)

13 January - Join the CFB Gagetown Medieval Anachronists' Club's 2nd Annual Garlic Festival. Bring along some festive frippery, merry muskets, and saucy smiles to this gourmet garlic gathering being held at Canadian Forces Base Gagetown in Oromocto, New Brunswick (Canada).

18-20 January - Trundle off to Ressurection Bay, Alaska for the annual Polar Bear Jumpoff and Ugly Fish Toss and while you're at it...why not freeze your posterior off at the parade, loose your concentration during the bed-making contest, gladhand your way around the goofy golf tournament or slide your way to success at the ice-bowling championship.

25 January - Bad Bowtie Day - Time to drag out those baffling or truly bad bowties that real men never wear and women demand when donning tails or tuxedos!

26-28 January - Hop across the pond to Port Lincoln, Australia and join lots of other slippery souls and try your hand at tuna tossing during Tunarama 2008. (PS Don't tell "Tony the Tuna" you're coming!)

26-27 January - Get yourself in gear, along with 70 other oddballs, for the world famous Swamp Buggy Races held every year in Naples, Florida at the Sports Park's "Sippy Hole".

30 January - Haul out your bagpipes, whip up some haggis, and practice sitting on a thistle, because Shetland, Scotland's beckoning you! More to the point, The Lerwick Up Helly Aa, is a rather big bonfire festival featuring a torchlight parade, burning of a Viking galley, and a good deal of Scotch whisky flowing into the wee hours of the morning!

And for those who like to putz about with nothing in particular to capture their fancy on their peculiar agenda, do drop by Dracula's Castle in Bucharest, Romania. (Note: The capital city in which this pugilistic palace is located was founded by one rather frightening fellow by the name of Vlad the Impaler in 1459. This charming chap later became the inspiration for Bram Stoker's blood-sucking vampire named....you guessed it!)

Cheerio, pip pip, and tah tah from your tippling tour-guides.

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For those who can't find enough curious, off-beat, or unusual places and things to do, why not pick up a copy of "Eccentric America".

It's time for the holly and the ivey...since "ho ho ho" has gone out the window in the era of political correctness.

So with the year's largest secular shopping season coming to a close, it's high time to get out your credit and debit card to purchase those pointless presents and godawful gifts that will be passed along soon to some serenity-deprived soul at your office party, house party, or family gathering.

Here are three days to celebrate in December:

Grinch Gourmet Day: Time to show-off your penny-pinching ways with your fabulous lime green jello dessert, your green grass chia plant for pesky pussycats, and green eggs and ham (ask Dr. Seuss for the recipie).

Ugly Holiday Sweater Day: Tis the season to sport that weird wooly made by Great Aunt Matilda, that hideous hoodie rescued from the bargain basement bin by that mouthy-maven next door named "Maxine", or that mothballed masterpiece your Mother knitted you after you flunked your first year of college. Make sure you have plenty of refreshments for your guests so they can at least feel good after laying their eyes upon all those horrible holiday garments.

Long John Appreciation Day: Never let it be said that Santa's the only one wearing red flanalette long johns or that Mrs. Claus has one with a trap door in the back! It's definitely time to don your own daring pair of titillating tights or funny flannette pajamas and snuggle up by the fireplace while letting all those sugar plums dance around in your head of course.