WELCOME TO FUNNY MONEY
After all, doesn't money grease palms to make the world go round?
Speaking of money, does it really grow on trees? Have you ever heard money talk? Why do some folks always want to pinch pennies, pay a penny for your thoughts, or put their two-cents in but never ever pick up the tab? And, come to think of it, doesn't paying through the nose for something, paying an arm and a leg for something else, or being strapped for cash while still in school constitute a form of corporal punishment?
If you don't know the answer to these simple questions, perhaps you need a primer on funny money!
Are The Contents of Your Credit Crunch Crispy or Crackled?
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ECONOMISTS!
- MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...FUNNY MONEY
- FUNNY FINANCIAL TERMS
- WHERE DO ELVES KEEP THEIR MONEY? IN A SNOW BANK SILLY! (Image Credit: sugarpacketchad@flickr.com)
- SASSY SYNONYMS FOR COLD HARD CASH
- MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
- A MIRTHFUL MONEY MELODY
- THE MONEY SHOTS COLLECTION
- BARGAIN-BASEMENT BROKE
- A LAUGHABLE LOAN
- PUTTING THE FUN IN "FUNNY MONEY"!
- MIRTH AND MONEY GO HAND IN HAND
- No wonder they stole the shirts off his back!
- SUB-PRIME SNICKERS
- FUNNY MONEY BOOKS & BUMPF
- A TITILLATING TASTE OF THE CREDIT CRUNCH
- MISCELLANEOUS MUSINGS ON MONEY
- A DELIGHTFUL DEPRESSING DITTY
- MAKING A MOCKERY OF MONEY
- SASSY SOPHIE SAYS IT ALL!
- BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THOSE WITHOUT BREAD, BRASS RINGS, OR BEER TOKENS!
- GREEN-BACK GRIPES AND GROOVY GREETINGS
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ECONOMISTS!
"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion. -- George Bernard Shaw, 20th century British author, playwright and satirist"If the nation's economists were laid end to end, they would point in all directions." -- Arthur H. Motley, 20th century business exeacutive and publisher
"The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." --Jean-Paul Kauffmann, French author and journalist
"I once met an economist who believed that everything was fungible for money, so I suggested he enclose himself in a large bell-jar with as much money as he wanted and see how long he lasted." -- Amory Lovins, American environmentalist, Chairman and Chief Scientist at the Rocky Mountain Institute
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...FUNNY MONEY
FUNNY FINANCIAL TERMS
The world may be going to heck in a handbasket but that's just grist for the mill of mirthful moneybags.
So, in case your broker is bamboozling you with waffling words, here's what they all mean:
Advertisement: A tool used by business to get money out of people that don't have it, for something that they don't need.
Alimony: Two person mistake paid by one.
Auditor: Person that arrives after battle to finish off the wounded.
Bank: A place that will lend you money (and an umbrella insurance plan) only when you don't need it.
Bear Market: Eight months when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Broker: The person that you trust with thousands of your hard earned dollars. Hello!
Broker: What my broker has made me or Poorer than you were last year.
Budget: Written proof that you can't afford the things you want.
Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO: Chief Fraud Officer.
Day Trader: A more socially acceptable gambling addict.
Discounted Stock: A stock that is less expensive than last month and more expensive than it will be next month.
EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering.
EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EPS: Eventual Prison Sentence.
FRS: Fantasy Reporting Standards.
Institutional Investor: An incompletely successful investor who is now locked up in a mental institute.
Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.
Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
P/E Ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Profit: A man that prays to God.
Standard and Poor (S&P): Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst: The idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Market Correction: The term your broker uses for a financial market crash.
Stock Split: When your former wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower.
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Image Credit: Chud Tsankov Illustrations@flickr.com
Source for financial terms: www.woopidoo.com
WHERE DO ELVES KEEP THEIR MONEY? IN A SNOW BANK SILLY! (Image Credit: sugarpacketchad@flickr.com)
SASSY SYNONYMS FOR COLD HARD CASH
Image Credit: nomissaday at flickr.com
Any way you slice it, this bread is worth a lot of dough!
So, when you run out of words to describe that cold hard cash you're carrying around in your pocket or purse, try these on your friends or foes for a change:
ackers, Almighty Dollar, bacon, baksheesh, banknotes, bankroll, beans, beer-tokens, Benjamins, big ones, bills, boodle, booty, brass, bundle, bread, bucks, buckshee, cabbage, cake, cha ching, chedder, cheese, chips, clams, coin, c-notes, cream, dibs, dinero, dosh, dough, ducats, duckets, feds, flow, folding stuff, frozen assets, gelt, glacier gold, gravy, greenbacks, jack, kale, king's ransom, kitty, legal tender, lettuce, lolly, long green, loot, lucre, luka, mazumah, megabucks, mint, moolah, oil of palm, oscar, pelf, pesos, pile, plaster, quid, readies, rhino, roll, sawbucks, scratch, scrip, sheets, shekels, silver, simoleons, skins, squirt, smackers, smackerels, smackeroos, spondulicks, sugar, swag, ten spots, tin, wad, wampum, wonga
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." (Groucho Marx)
"Money can't buy friends, but it can get a better class of enemy." (Spike Milligan, American comedian)
A MIRTHFUL MONEY MELODY
BEARISH - song parody from versusplus.com about THE ECONOMY
For HIGH QUALITY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37pal-PYTUQ&fmt=18 A musical parody of the Terry Kirkman song "Cherish," about the turmoil in the financial markets and the recession. Lead vocal: RICK LOGAN Background vocals: RICK LOGAN Music Director: GREG HILFMAN For "BEARISH" and many more great political musical parodies, visit VERSUS -- where politics and culture do their time in rhyme -- at http://versusplus.com.
Runtime: 221
42877 views
21 Comments:
curated content from YouTube
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." -- e.e. cummings (1894-1962), American poet, painter, essayist, author, and playwright
BARGAIN-BASEMENT BROKE
"Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears." -- Robert W. Sarnoff (1918-1997), media executive
A LAUGHABLE LOAN
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack."Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone."
PUTTING THE FUN IN "FUNNY MONEY"!
MIRTH AND MONEY GO HAND IN HAND
Who says money doesn't make the world go round?Here are a few wacky words of wisdom when it comes to knowing the value of money, and how to save it for a rainy day, or spend it like there's no tomorrow:
"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." -- Bo Derek, American film star
"I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money." -- Nigella Lawson, British food writer and broadcast personality
"Always borrow from a pessimist, he doesn't expeact to be paid back." -- Author Unknown
"Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." -- John Paul Getty, 20th century American philanthropist
"When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion." -- Voltaire, 18th century French essayist, philosopher and satirical writer.
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." -- Author Unknown
"It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." -- Groucho Marx, 20th century American entertainer and humorist
"I am having an out of money experience." -- Author Unknown
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. -- Aristotle Onassis, 20th century Greek shipping magnate
In the old days a man who saved money was a miser; nowadays he's a wonder." -- Author Unknown
"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -- Bob Dylan, American singer and composer, from "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"
"France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper." -- Billy Wilder, American film director
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -- Jackie Mason, U.S. comedian
"From birth to eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, a gal needs personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash!" -- Sophie Tucker, American entertainer
No wonder they stole the shirts off his back!
__________
Image Credit: Orgimai money at cordobo.com
SUB-PRIME SNICKERS
FUNNY MONEY BOOKS & BUMPF
Funny Money Folds for Kids
For those who have enough money to fold it into really neat things!
Amazon Price: $8.95 (as of 12/28/2009) 
Funny Money: From Billionaires to Bankrupts
Will answer that age-old question, "Do people really laugh themselves all the way to the bank?"
Amazon Price: $15.60 (as of 12/28/2009)
Talking Funny for Money : An Introduction to the Cartoon/Character/Looping Area of Voice-Overs
If money could talk it, it might tell you to quit complaining and learn how to talk funny for money honey!
Amazon Price: $15.61 (as of 12/28/2009)
What to do When Your Money is Funny: Real Solutions to Financial Challenges
The funny money fundamentals of life!
Amazon Price: (as of 12/28/2009)
A TITILLATING TASTE OF THE CREDIT CRUNCH
MISCELLANEOUS MUSINGS ON MONEY
- ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT WADS OF WAMPUM
- All you ever wanted to know about wampum but were too afraid to ask in this period of political-correctness and plunging home values.
- DJ CASH MONEY
- If you had a name that didn't fit your ripsnorting rap personality, wouldn't you want to change it?
- EDDIE MONEY
- His best album wasn't the "Sound of Music"...it was "Greatest Hits: The Sound of Money" you silly fool!!!
- MONEY SUPPLY
- Does the money supply ever dry up? Why is it so difficult to launder it without getting any wrinkles?
- MAD MONEY
- Who said a few mavens of mirth don't know where to put their money where their mouthes are?
- FIDDLE-FADDLE FOLDING FUN!
- Try folding some money the easy way...by using Origami!
- A FULL LINE OF FUNNY MONEY JARS!
- Want something a little bit more hip than a "piggy bank" to save for a rainy day...try these very funny money jars!
- SLING YOUR SLANG WITH MONEY!
- All you ever wanted to know about English money...the good, the bad, and the slightly dilapitated.
- DOLLAR ORIGAMI
- Cheapskates always know the best place for money is in one's own pocket or maybe it's folding it in funny ways...then charge the price of admission to see your wonderous works of art!
- MONEY TALKS
- The English language has many expressions that have to do with money, what it is and what it can do for you, who has and who doesn't, not to mention how, where, and when it's acquired or lost.
- COUNTING ON CURRENCY
- For those who need to know the real business behind how to count your money - be it copper coins or big bills.
A DELIGHTFUL DEPRESSING DITTY
DEPRESSING (FEELS LIKE HOOVER) - song parody from versusplus.com on THE ECONOMY
For HIGH QUALITY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQPvrAxT_Sk&fmt=18 A musical parody of the Paul Simon song "The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)," about financial market turbulence and its ripple effects: from Fed Chairman Bernanke to Wall Street to Main Street. Lead vocal: GARY STOCKDALE Background vocals: GARY STOCKDALE Music Director: GREG HILFMAN For "DEPRESSING" and many more great political musical parodies, visit VERSUS -- where politics and culture do their time in rhyme -- at http://versusplus.com.
Runtime: 159
13712 views
7 Comments:
curated content from YouTube
MAKING A MOCKERY OF MONEY
Zimbabwe, a small nation, once known as the bread basket of Africa, today has the world's highest rate of inflation (at 2.2 million per cent, but unofficially much higher).To cope with the staggering rate of inflation, the central bank of Zimbabwe has just announced the issue of some new mind-boggling money, the world's first $100 billion-bank note. (The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe released six other high-value notes earlier this year, including a $50-billion note in May.)
In a country wracked by violence and poverty since its independence from Britain in 1980, the new bank note will be sufficient to buy four oranges but not enough to purchase two loafs of bread.
In this once prosperous country in Southern Africa, the average family requires Z$14 trillion a month to buy basic goods and services.
SASSY SOPHIE SAYS IT ALL!
"From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money." -- Sophie Tucker (1884-1966), American singer and comedianBATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THOSE WITHOUT BREAD, BRASS RINGS, OR BEER TOKENS!
GREEN-BACK GRIPES AND GROOVY GREETINGS
For those who adore pinching pennies, love playing with money, or who can't wait to collect $200 as they pass "Go", do leave your credit-worthy comments please.
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Reply
- Sachin Sachin Oct 20, 2009 @ 12:43 am
- What does it mean
"Finance is an art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears."
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Reply
- WhitneyWells WhitneyWells Jun 8, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
- 5* and lensrolling you to my Financial Words of Wisdom lens - great job!
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- AndyPo AndyPo Nov 17, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
- Great lens and welcome to the Investment Club group (I shall create a new category for your lenses)
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- Jun 24, 2008 @ 8:43 pm
- If you personally ask me those questions above, I should say YES!Money grow on trees that's why banks have BRANCHES! lol! You have a great lens! That's why I love online shopping! You can get some funny things that will surely light up our day! I even came across a site that offers "funny" checks, too, at an affordable price! Once, I bought my very own personalized Basset Hound checks and they gave me a big discount! I owned a Basset and I put his funny photo on it! You should check this out, too! anyway, great lens and funny money ROCKS!
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- lukey81 lukey81 Jun 19, 2008 @ 5:14 am
- Well done on an excellent lens! From Luke DownUnder
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