Funny Birthday Quotes

If things get better with age, then you are approaching magnificent!

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

I wouldn't say that you're old...
...you've just been young longer than most of us.

Birthdays are good for you.
Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

You're not old...
You're chronologically gifted.

Asked of a lady on her 104th birthday, "What is the best thing about turning 104?" Her reply: "No peer pressure!"

A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. "I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it's because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried." -Dorothea Kent

"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Bob Hope

We can't all put our feelings into words like Mark Twain or Robert Frost. I think reading quotes give us those "ah ha" moments of "Yes, that's just what I want to say." When a quote captures your message, use it and add a personal touch. I love to do this by making my own cards. If you're limited by time or crafting ability, buy a pretty box of blank cards and print a quote typed on your computer, cut it out and insert it inside the card with double-sided tape. Going to that little bit of extra effort means so much and I think you'll find it saves you time and money, as opposed to making a trip to the store each time you need a birthday card.

"I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it's all a little bit lower." - Gypsy Rose Lee

"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left." - Jerry M. Wright

"Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it,
but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get." - Robbert Oustin

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

" When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not." - Mark Twain

Middle age is when you've met so many people that
every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

"Middle Age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms."
~ Georges Clemenceau

" The Best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once."
- H. V. Prochnow

I never forget my wife's birthday.It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.

"When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off."

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
- Robert Frost

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

"Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?"
"No, they both burn shorter!"

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
"Next time, take off the candles."

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know", she said. "Just give me something with diamonds".
That's why I'm giving her a deck of playing cards.

"Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!"

You're not old, You're ripe! ( cute with fruit shapes and stickers )

You're not fifty yet. You're $49.95.

I'm not over the hill, I'm just reaching my peak!

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

So many candles,
So little cake!

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.