The Best One Liner Comebacks

1. You are so stupid that you took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.

2. Your Momma is deformed with 3 toes on each knee and they call her Tone Toni Tony.

3. You look like a poster child for the suicide hotline.

4. You are the reason why contraceptives exist.

5. You are what comes out when a brother and sister have a baby together.

6. I think your mother may have missed the third trimester.

7. You are so dumb that you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.

8. I don't believe you have a top floor for your elevator to go to.

9. All you need is a helmet and and mouth guard to be a prime candidate for the short yellow bus.

10. When God was giving out whoopings with his ugly stick, you got a few extra licks.

11. Your face too closely resembles the surface of the Moon.

12. You look like my right testicle after cold water shrinkage.

13. You're just lucky the toilet wouldn't flush when you were born.

14. Did you eat paint chips as a child, or are you still living your childhood?!

15. You grew up near power lines didn't you.

16. Shut up before I call the Men in Black on you, you feckin' alien.

17. You were born in a dirty test tube weren't you.

18. You are like a genetics experiment gone horribly wrong.

19. Holy crap! Just how premature were you?

20. Wow! Your Momma was allowed conjugal visits in the zoo??!!

21. Your face looks like a dog's fart that has been freeze framed.

22. Did you use Botox to paralyze your ugliness?

23. You remind me of....You know what? I don't think I've ever come across anything as bizarre as you before.

24. Doctor Livingshit I presume?

25. You're so screwed up, even your afterbirth had defects.

a. You are so beautiful in a truly ugly way.

b. Life must be so simple when you are so stupid.

c. I guess the dentist couldn't do anything for you.

d. Are you always this stupid or are you putting in over-time today?

d. You're so dumb, you have the IQ of a salad spoon.

e. Hey man. You sit down to pee, don't you.

f. Let me piss in your ear, I think your brain is on fire.

g. What do you do , use Botox as lotion ?

h. Damn, you look like you swallowed a beach ball.

i. Your momma's so fat, she registers on radar.

j. Your so fat, when you go swimming at the beach, whales try to mate with you.

k. I saw your girlfriend the other day, I said hi to all three of her.

l. I didn't know it was possible to be dumber than you already look.

m. You again ? Go that way.

n. I have two words for you. PRO ACTIV

o. Do you screw with your nose, because it looks like a penis.

p. Wow, penial implant, Viagara, and you're still a virgin.

q. They turn blubber in to soap, you're not supposed to apply it directly.

r. Don't think, you can only give yourself an aneurysm.

s. You could shame the Devil.

t. I can't look directly at you because I may turn to stone.

u. Look at your face! Did anybody die in the accident?

v. You have a kind face. The kind I want to pound the crap out of.

w. Do you still love nature, even after what it did to you?

x. You're so ugly, when you walk into a room, the mice jump up on chairs.

y. At least you don't have to worry about being like anyone else, you are absolutely unique in your utter ugliness.

z. Your mind is so open. So open that intelligent thought just passes right through it.

A. What a nice outfit! Who's the designer, CLEARANCE ?

B. Sure I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay for ticket.

C. Hi! I'm human. What are you ?

D. Hi! I'm from Earth.What Planet do you hail from ?

E. Went a little heavy on the Shitay Perfume didn't you ?

F. You're so skinny that they used you as a javelin in the Olympics.

G. Calling you stupid would be an insult to all stupid people.

H. You have the kind of face only a mother could love. Too bad she put you up for adoption.

I. Anyone that ever told you to just be yourself, must not have known you.

J.The sign you were born under was "RED LIGHT DISTRICT"

K. You started at the bottom....and it's been down hill ever since.

L. Sure! I'd be happy to help you out! Now, which way did you come in ?

M. Your face and odor are your biggest deterrents against muggers.

N. Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your inflatable death.

O. When you came across a can of orange concentrate, you stood there and concentrated with a pumpkin.

P.Your momma's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

Q. Your so stupid, you sold your car to get gas money.

R. Your so stupid that if I said,"Christmas is just around the corner," you'd go looking for it.

S. Your momma's so dumb that when she got locked inside a mattress store, she slept on the floor.

T. Your girlfriend is so big, she uses Mexico as a tanning bed.

U. Your girlfriend is so ugly that on Halloween, people go as her.

V. Your so stupid that you sat on the TV to watch the couch.

W. Your sister is so big that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.

X. Don't let your mind wander, it's way to small to go around by itself.

Y. I'm not anti-social. I just don't like you.

Z. I may be fat, but you're shit ugly, and I can diet.

1. Liver Lip
2. Milky Licker
3. Spank Monkey
4. Chisel Chest
5. Stupidus Maximus
6. Buddy Ruff
7. Herman Shim ( her man she him )
8. Mountain Oyster
9. Blow Chops
10. Schlong Jerker
11. Sphincter Child
12. Ball Chinian
13. Count Crapula
14. Dr. StrangeCrap
15. Flabaro
16. Jerky Licker
17. Gerifile
18. Penis de Milo
19. Professor Clump
20. Herman Munster
21. QuasimotA