FUNNY PLACE NAMES

The Ordnance Survey, (Great Britain's national mapping agency), provides a glimpse of giggle-oriented places to spend your Christmas holidays.

This online mapping tool proves that the "olde country" is a real Christmas cracker when it comes to feeling festive. From Cold Christmas (Hertfordshire) and Christmas Cross (Shropshire) to Holly Green (Worcestershire) and Ivy Tree (Cumbria), there are places scattered across the country where it feels like Christmas all year round - even if only in name.

As it approaches midnight on Christmas Eve, don't forget to hang up your Stocking in Herefordshire and leave out a Carrot in Angus for Rudolph. Better yet, why not pucker up at Mistletoe Oak in Herefordshire, dream of a white Christmas in Snow Falls (North Yorkshire), or make your way to Wiseman's Bridge (Pembrokeshire) by the light of a Star (Somerset) - although you may like to use a good map instead.

For those not worried about their waistline, there's always Turkey Island (Hampshire) with a side helping of Cranberry (Staffordshire) and Sprouts (West Sussex), followed by Pudding Hill (Windsor). Wash it all down with a couple of Brandys (Cornwall) or Baileys (Essex) and use your Nut Crackers (Devon) to break open your Brazils (Essex) or The Walnuts (Milton Keynes).

Of course, if you live across the pond in the Land of the Stars and Stripes, you'll probably be looking for Santa in either the North Pole or Mary's Igloo in Alaska, Little Switzerland in North Carolina, or his hometown, Santa Claus, Indiana. On the other hand, you may be more likely to find the man in the red suit down in Christmas, Frostproof or Kissimmee Florida where they have no need for Mistletoe because it's in Kentucky silly!

And, if you're looking for Santa's reindeer, you're likely to find them all stretching their legs in Antlers Virginia. Although, Vixen in Louisiana prefers celebrating Christmas in Michigan, with a buck-naked reindeer named Flasher from North Dakota (who has a bad habit of hanging out with hilarious hoofer named Sweet Lips from Tennessee).

Of course if you and Santa are looking for a happy holiday party, maybe you should drop by for some Turkey not to mention Hoop and Holler, both of which you can find in Texas, or at the very least, What Cheer, Iowa.

But Santa has a soft-spot for Virginia where he's likely to find a Big Chimney, HooHoo as well as Friendly folk there. And as for eats on his long trip, the only thing he can count on is a Bear in Delaware, a Beaver in Pennsylvania, a Clam in Virginia, a Fly in Ohio, Horseheads in New York, Tobasco in Ohio, Tea in South Dakota, ToastCheesequake in New Jersey, Hot Coffee in Missippi, a Pigeon in Michigan, Mashpee in Massachusetts, Monkey's Eyebrow in Kentucky, Trout in Louisiana, Buttermilk in Kansas, a Chestnut in Illinois, Two Eggs in Florida, Sweetgrass in Montana, Worms in Nebraska, Rye in New Hampshire, Tumwater in Washington, Turkey in Texas, plus a Dinosaur in Colorado and a Giant's Neck in Connecticut.

The United States also offers something for those who have an interest in sacred stories of the season, the best of which are probably to be found in Bible Grove (Missouri), Buddha (Indiana), Faith (South Dakota), Camel Hump (Wyoming) and Surprise (Arizona).

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Inserted Image: Courtesy of widez888@flickr.com

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Image Credit: LolaGeek@flickr.com

This sign naturally begs the question, will one find a form-fitting female undergarment made of wood there or merely a girdle strapped around an obese tree to make it more appealing to nymphs, sprites, and other wee forest creatures?

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Image Credit: Welcome sign in Loveladies, New Jersey, photographer: tizzie@flickr.com

Since 2009 is the Year of the Ox according to Chinese astrology, where else would you plan your next vacation but:

-- Upper Ox Frame Gulch Mine in Fergus County, Montana (USA)

-- Dead Ox Flat, Malheur County, Oregon (USA)

-- Durham Ox, Victoria (Australia)