Hilarious Stories & Jokes

Men love to play golf (though I can't figure out why) - but their girlfriends and wives feel that they love it a bit too much. Which is why they need good excuses in order to get themselves out on to the course. These great suedo Golf Jokes are hilarious and may even work.

If you test the new car you get a free round of golf

I have to change my whole theory on golf after I read the USGA rules

Everyone cool plays golf

I'm retired so I have to

Church was cancelled because of the snow so I decided to go golfing

Golfing and drinking beer are just downright fun

You get a free beer at the turn

Getting frustrated is great and I can only get that when on the golf course

Golf is the only place that I can take my woman and she can't talk the whole time

Golf is a great place to learn patience and I need to learn that

I just bought brand new golf contact lenses and they can cut 5 strokes off my score

Excuse? I don't need no excuse!

There is a small town in the United States where there is a large factory that will only hire married men. One of the local women was angry about this and demanded to speak to the manager to know why.

She asked, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

What could be more fun then finding funny lawyer jokes that we can share with others? Sure lawyers help to carry out justice (not like Superman though) but it's still great to make fun of them!

Two small squirrels were walking in the forest. The first one stopped when he saw a nut and said, "Look, a nut!" The second squirrel then ran to the nut and took it and said "It's my nut!"

The first squirel grew angry and said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"

"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.

At that point, a lawyer came up and said, "You shouldn't fight.

Let me fix this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."

Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."

You can't go through like without a few good knock knock jokes. Sure these jokes might be lame and you've probably already heard them all before - but they're still funny.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aldo
Aldo who?
Aldo anywhere with you!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alexia
Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Japan
Japan who!
Japan is too hot, ouch!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jenny
Jenny who?
Jennymen prefer blondes

In life there are a good deal of things that might make us feel horrible. Work may be stressing us out or there might be troubles in a family relationship or with our health. No matter is going on it helps to have something that will put a smile on our face and lift our spirits. One of the better ways that we can do this is with jokes.

There are over thousands of jokes that you may find and use to help lift someone's spirit. A few of these are simply old and used too much. Then there are others that are so funny that everybody who reads them will be laughing about it for days. Wouldn't it be good if you would be able to make a joke that was funny?

The best way to make a joke is to use your personal experience that you have had over the years. How many times have you done something crazy by accident or even on purpose and people have laughed at you. Before you know it, that life story has become a long standing joke that they will talk about and tease you about each Christmas.

Try to begin with some clean jokes and even try to create funny scenarios inside of your head. This will be a good way for you to use your imagination and try to think of something funny. Make sure to test these out on family and friends to see their reaction. You want them to be totally honest.

When you have come up with a few blonde or doctor jokes you want to put them in an e-mail and send it to it everybody. Try to pass it off as a random one that were sent to you. Than see how funny everyone thought they were.

Stress seems to be the common predicament that folks of all ages share anymore. It appears that life is so tiring and we seem to be being pulled in numerous directions or that we don't understand where life is leading us to. The stress that we start to feel might wear us down and cause us to be sick almost all the time. That may be why it assists to find the best way to relieve what we're going through.

The medical doctors say the best cure for nearly everything is laughter. It helps us to forget the problems which we are experiencing even when just for a moment. Isn't that a great reason to attempt to invent some of your own jokes. Jokes you might share with those you're keen on and to actually help them smile and laugh again? First you should know how to try and do that.

One of the best place to start is to read a few of the more common ones which can be told all over and what makes them so amusing. Try and understand why people love them and what kind of format they are in. This may assist you to know just how to set your own up and also to recognize just how it must sound like.

From time to time the top format and the best type to go with are your own personal stories and experiences. People find things humorous when they realize that it is a true story or at least that it seems like one. It makes them question at how someone could think that way or go through with doing a little of the crazy things which you might think about.

You must constantly keep a notebook available in case you've got a good idea for something you are able to share with individuals. Sometimes an inspiration might hit you whenever you are watching TV or while you are driving on your way to work. Keep your eyes open and take a look at what everyone seems to be doing and learn how funny it may appear to you and other people.

When doubtful it assists to write out a few insults and cutdowns that people would find amusing. Naturally these kind of jokes are usually centered around political people that tend to make us furious. What better way to indicate our frustration of them all than by insulting them? In the end they aren't gonna know about it!