Hilarious Stories & Jokes

Men love to play golf (though I can't figure out why) - but their girlfriends and wives feel that they love it a bit too much. Which is why they need good excuses in order to get themselves out on to the course. These great suedo Golf Jokes are hilarious and may even work.

If you test the new car you get a free round of golf

I have to change my whole theory on golf after I read the USGA rules

Everyone cool plays golf

I'm retired so I have to

Church was cancelled because of the snow so I decided to go golfing

Golfing and drinking beer are just downright fun

You get a free beer at the turn

Getting frustrated is great and I can only get that when on the golf course

Golf is the only place that I can take my woman and she can't talk the whole time

Golf is a great place to learn patience and I need to learn that

I just bought brand new golf contact lenses and they can cut 5 strokes off my score

Excuse? I don't need no excuse!

There is a small town in the United States where there is a large factory that will only hire married men. One of the local women was angry about this and demanded to speak to the manager to know why.

She asked, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

What could be more fun then finding funny lawyer jokes that we can share with others? Sure lawyers help to carry out justice (not like Superman though) but it's still great to make fun of them!

Two small squirrels were walking in the forest. The first one stopped when he saw a nut and said, "Look, a nut!" The second squirrel then ran to the nut and took it and said "It's my nut!"

The first squirel grew angry and said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"

"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.

At that point, a lawyer came up and said, "You shouldn't fight.

Let me fix this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."

Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."

You can't go through like without a few good knock knock jokes. Sure these jokes might be lame and you've probably already heard them all before - but they're still funny.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aldo
Aldo who?
Aldo anywhere with you!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alexia
Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Japan
Japan who!
Japan is too hot, ouch!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jenny
Jenny who?
Jennymen prefer blondes