Gary R. Hess Lensography

Where to start? Hmm... I guess, the very beginning.

I was born and raised in Southeast Kansas on a small farm just outside an extremely small town you've never heard of, unless you're a baseball history buff. As you can imagine, like everywhere in the bible belt, the area is extremely conservative with conservative values. Everyone went to church, including me. As well, every week I attended "religion class", which was essentially learning prayers in the early years and later on receiving assignments about texts within the Bible. I've probably read the Bible two or three times by the time I was 20 and the passages recited during Mass (yes, Catholic) about 30 times.

I'm not a deeply religious person, however. Actually, I'm as close to Atheist as you can get without actually being one. My lack of religiousness is mostly due to what I believe to horrible teenage years, having religion shoved down my throat for so long, and simply not believing in much of what churches teach. Don't worry, I won't preach my beliefs on you.

During elementary school, I was mostly a quiet, shy, nerdish fellow who had only a select few friends. If I were to guess (and most likely this is completely accurate), I had about four friends all the way up until seventh grade. Sure, I talked to more than just them, but they were the only ones I would call "friends." That is, I hung out with them outside of school a few times. The downside of this is that I lost contact with most of them after just a year or two. In small towns people come and go without further mention ever again, so I got use to it.

One of the friends I mentioned would go on to commit suicide while we were in high school. This happened after we lost contact, then got contact once again, but we weren't as close as before. The reason why his death hurt so much at the time was because he was the first best friend I ever had.

The middle school years were a little easier. This was when I started to play sports as an extra-curricular activity in school. I was able to get a few extra friends this way and live much happier until a few years down the road.

High school was an entirely different story. I joined track and football and excelled at the latter. I was (and still am) short, so I knew it was mostly a factor of being in a small school. However, no one seemed to care. I got a few more friends this way, but none were really a best friend. My best friends were of the more nerdy variety--we lost touch years later, which is my fault.

Like most teens, I started to notice the opposite sex during this period. This was bad. I couldn't get a date. I couldn't get a girlfriend, so of course, sadness came. I never showed it, and frankly, I thought it was natural to feel this way. It didn't help, though. I felt I was a loser and maybe I really was.

After graduation, things started to change. College came and went along with a few girlfriends. I started to write poetry years before and even took a class in college. I had a way to express myself without the worries of what others felt about me. I finally started to become me.

Once I received my associates degree, I took some time off. Over the years I learned how to create websites and found a niche which I could excel in. So I did. A couple years went by and I finally decided to return to get my graduates degree. Sadly, that didn't last. My grades were perfectly fine but the situation wasn't right.

Since then, I have been writing, web developing, and thinking about when to return to college. I will, someday. It is just a matter of time. Until then, I'll continue doing what I am doing. It pays the bills.