Gay Parents and LGBT Families

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LGBT Families - A Growing Segment of the Population

According to the 2000 U.S. Census, approximately 600,000 same-sex couples live in the United States and more than a third of these have at least one child. Of those LGBT parents, about half have two or more children. That means there are approximately 200-400,000 children in the United States currently being raised by same-sex couples, not including single lesbian or single gay parents.

If you include single parents, research indicates that there may be as many as nine million children being raised by at least one gay or lesbian parent.

This lens is for LGBT families looking for resources about families like ours.

LGBT Family Events 

Need some other lesbian and gay parents to hang out with? Want something fun to do? Check out these links for groups that make it easy to connect with other families.

Books for Young Children of Gay or Lesbian Parents 

Heather Has Two Mommies: 10th Anniversary Edition (Alyson Wonderland)

Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Daddy's Roommate (Alyson Wonderland)

Amazon Price: $9.56 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Who's in a Family?

Amazon Price: $7.95 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Molly's Family

Amazon Price: $10.88 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Emma and Meesha My Boy: A Two Mom Story

Amazon Price: $10.95 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Interview with Abigail Garner, author of "Families Like Mine" 

Ellen Kahn interviews author Abigail Garner

Garner's new book, Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, intertwines her experiences growing up with a gay father and straight mother with those of other children who were raised by lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender parents. She doesn't flinch from addressing the complex issues surrounding what it means for children raised in LGBT families, herself included, to be, in the words of advocate Stefan Lynch, "culturally queer, erotically straight." Vanity Fair calls the book "indispensable."

Runtime: 17:25
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Thinking About Becoming a Parent? 

If you're thinking about becoming a parent or already have kids, check out these resources for advice and research.

Books for Lesbian and Gay Parents 

Gay Parenting: Complete Guide for Same-Sex Families

Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide

Amazon Price: $15.30 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

For Lesbian Parents: Your Guide to Helping Your Family Grow Up Happy, Healthy, and Proud

Amazon Price: $13.22 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Fatherhood for Gay Men: An Emotional and Practical Guide to Becoming a Gay Dad

Amazon Price: $100.00 (as of 07/06/2009) Buy Now

Research on Lesbian and Gay Parenting 

Research on LGBT families has shown that children raised by gay and lesbian parents grow up as successfully as children raised by straight parents. Here are some key findings.
  1. There is no evidence to suggest that gay men or lesbians are unfit to be parents. (American Psychological Association, 1995).
  2. Children with one or two parents who are gay or lesbian fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social, and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual. (Perrin, 2002).
  3. Evidence shows that children's optimal development is influenced more by the nature of the relationships and interactions within the family unit than by its particular structural form (Perrin, 2002).

Links to Research on Gay Parenting 

Legal Rights of LGBT Parents 

Where you live determines what type of legal rights you will be entitled to as gay parents. Laws vary widely from state to state.

According to the ACLU, 21 states currently allow second-parent adoptions to lesbian and gay couples and 22 states have allowed lesbians and gay men to adopt children. But two (Florida and New Hampshire) have laws that expressly bar lesbians and gay men from ever adopting children.

You can check for laws and legislation concerning gays and lesbians in your state by visiting the Human Rights Campaign.

In My Shoes: Stories of Youth with LGBT Parents 

In My Shoes: Stories of Youth with LGBT Parents (excerpt)

This excerpt of "In My Shoes" profiles Alex and his family. Alex has two moms and two dads, all of whom are gay, and one of whom passed away. In My Shoes was directed, shot, and edited by Jen Gilomen and produced by COLAGE (Children of Lesbians & Gays Everywhere). It won the Audience Award for Best Short at the Frameline Film Festival in 2005 and is now distributed by Frameline Distribution. To learn more, visit colage.org/inmyshoes.

Runtime: 6:07
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12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage Will Ruin Society (Yes, We're Joking) 

This is about gay marriage, but also mentions parenting

I love this list. It was originally created by the very funny folks at the Gator Gay-Straight Alliance at the University of Florida.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

Permission to Marry Video 

A thought-provoking video produced by Public Interest

Permission

"Whose permission would you need to get married to the person you love?" Winner of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Rights Award at the sixth annual "Media that Matters" film festival. - Produced by Public Interest: http://www.publicinterest.tv - Michael Franzini, President and Creative Director - Dave Isser, Executive Producer - CC Distribution license: Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/

Runtime: 1:08
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High-Profile or Famous Lesbian Moms and Gay Dads 

Role Models and Trailblazers

Want to know what high-profile gays and lesbians are saying about parenthood? Here are links to some articles.

Melissa Etheridge - in Metro Weekly

Rosie O'Donnell - in The Advocate

Jeff Lutes, Executive Director of Soulforce, Inc. - on About.com

Clay Aiken

Reader Feedback 

Margo_Arrowsmith wrote...

Love your top 12 list! ***** lens

ReplyPosted December 30, 2008

flighty02 wrote...

Lots of information here... well done for bringing this to peoples attention, there is no reason why gay parents can't be as good or even better than straight parents. 5*****

ReplyPosted October 20, 2008

AshleyAnnRyan wrote...

I'm so happy to have you featured in my Parenting Group Parenting on Squidoo. Please check back often to add any of your new lenses to the group. I'm always looking for new feature topics, so make a suggestion and I will do my best to make it happen! And remember, you are making a difference!
Ashley

ReplyPosted October 11, 2008

debnet wrote...

Well done for bringing this to our attention. Where I live in the UK, one of the children I worked with was in a foster home with gay parents. He succeeded with them, where 'straight' couples had given up on him. 5*****

ReplyPosted September 27, 2008

AshleyAnnRyan wrote...

Want more traffic to your lens?
I would like to FEATURE your lens in my Parenting Group! Parenting on Squidoo. I'll even create a special category just for you!
Ashley
Everything You Need to Know About Attachment Parenting.

ReplyPosted September 14, 2008

 
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Gay Marriage 

Same-sex marriage rights are important to LGBT families with children because of the legal rights and protections involved. The lens below was created to oppose California's Prop 8 ballot measure, but has a lot of information about gay marriage around the nation.

Gay Parenting News from Google 

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You're helping children with AIDS! 

A portion of the proceeds from this lens are donated to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.