A Gay Man's View Of Disneyland

My tips for visiting the Disneyland Resort 

• Get To The Park Early: If you're staying at one of the Disneyland Resort hotels, you can do magic morning and get in an hour early. That's a great time to hit some of the rides that might have long waits or where the fast passes go quickly. Fast passes for rides like Space Mountain and Indiana Jones tend to go quickly and you can find yourself having to wait until the evening if you don't act fast. I'd recommend going on one of them or Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (which has no fast passes) or even Peter Pan's Flight (the Fantasyland dark ride with the longest wait) first. But, generally, even when the park is fuller later in the day, you can get on a lot of rides within the first two hours that the park is open. I was there the other day and was able to take pictures in Central Plaza with the castle in the background and NOBODY is in the shot despite the mad rush of people seeming to come in. It was FABULOUS!
• Beginning Your Day At California Adventure: If you're going to California Adventure, be sure to get through the gates before opening and get yourself in queue with the mad rush heading toward Paradise Pier to go on the Toy Story Midway Mania ride. It is well worth racing people to get there, but that's the ride that everybody wants to go on and the line is always long (I've never been there without at least a 40 minute wait). But, it is worth it. If you do go this route, go the Ariel's Grotto way toward Paradise Pier and do not go the long way past Mullholland Madness. It seems like you're avoiding the crowds, but, you're actually walking much farther. Other rides worth getting fast passes for at California Adventure are California Screamin' at Paradise Pier, Soarin' Over California in Condor Flats, Tower of Terror in the Hollywood Pictures Backlot and Grizzly River Run in the Grizzly Peak Recreational Area.
• The Ticket Takers Are Not Your Information Booth: When you're entering the park, please do not have conversations with the ticket takers. This is not to say don't be nice to them or say "thank you." But, some people don't realize that this is not the place to ask all kinds of information about the park and they end up gumming up the entry process. Also, be sure every member of your party is holding their own ticket. Again with the gumming. And, when it gets gummed up, this gay goes Naomi Campbell and will throw his cell phone at you!
• Character Sightings: The entertainment schedule has a couple of locations that you can find characters, although not all places. For example, on the weekends, there is a great show featuring Mary Poppins and Bert that plays in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle periodically. Also, Alice, the Mad Hatter and Peter Pan will periodically stop by the Coca-Cola Refreshment Corner. I have also regularly seen the Fairy Godmother, Chip n' Dale, Woody and Jessie and Buzz Lightyear wandering around different lands. In California Adventure, I've often caught Sulley wandering around the Hollywood Pictures Backlot. Also, it should be noted that you can often see Stitch in the Sunshine Plaza there. If you're a gay like me and likes to get pictures with the pixies and the princesses, I would recommend getting to Pixie Hollow and/or Disney Princess Fantasy Faire early because the lines can get extraordinarily long. In fact, I've seen lines in excess of an hour wait. And, while I believe in fairies, I don't know if I believe in them that much!
• Live Entertainment: Not all live entertainment is on the entertainment schedule. Check out what you want to see, but you can also ask cast members or stop by City Hall on Main Street to find out about other performances and their times. For example, the schedule doesn't tell you when the Mary Poppins show happens in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle or when the Trash Can Trio perform in Tomorrowland or the Royal Street Bachelors at the French Market in New Orleans Square. There's also a show with Mickey, Minnie, Pluto and Donald with the Strawhatters and Goofy and/or Chip n' Dale with the Hook and Ladder Company at the entrance of Main Street that isn't listed. Also, at around 4:30 or 4:45, there's a flag lowering ceremony at Main Square at the beginning of Main Street that can be quite touching. These are great to see and can really allow you to catch a breather from the lines!
• Restaurant Tips: If you're planning to eat at any restaurant requiring reservations, go directly to City Hall and use the phone to make reservations. You can make multiple ones all in one fell swoop. If I may recommend two that you should absolutely try (and they both are table service and strongly encourage reservations) -- The Carnation Cafe on Main Street for breakfast and Cafe Orleans in New Orleans Square for either lunch or dinner. Their food is some of the best in the park and, while a little pricier, they're not cost prohibitive either. I think they're definitely worth going to on any visit to Disneyland. If you don't want to make a reservation, the French Market in New Orleans Square, the Golden Horseshoe in Frontierland or Bengal Barbeque in Adventureland have pluses from me!
• California Adventure Dining: Eating in California Adventure can be an adventure (a frustrating one, that is!) in and of itself. I generally try to avoid eating at a restaurant in this park because, for some reason, their food service is terribly inefficient. For example, there were ocassions when I went to Award Weiners in the Hollywood Pictures Backlot and Sam Andreas Shakers near "It's A Bugs Land" and I wanted to kill myself (I never said I wasn't a drama queen). There are windows all over the place, but what they don't tell you (until you've stood in line for 15 minutes) is that you may be standing in the "pick up" window line. You then have to get into the other line and wait that much longer. But, I will recommend the Hot Link Corn Dog at Corn Dog Castle in Paradise Pier (which is worth the wait). The Date Shake at Sam Andreas Shakers (despite wanting to kill myself after the experience of buying it) is actually quite delicious. And, the custard-like ice cream at Catch-A-Flave in Paradise Pier is deeelish! The only place I've eaten at that didn't make me want to scream was Bountiful Valley Farmers Market near "It's A Bug's Land." It's efficiently run with clearly marked signs and the food isn't half bad.
• Restaurants To Avoid Entirely: Village Haus in Fantasyland and Rancho del Zocalo in Frontierland. Village Haus is a mad house pretty much all the time because they have the kid friendliest food, but I've seen blood feuds start in wars for tables there. I know a lot of gay people have kids, but, seriously, don't take your family there. You'll only leave in tears. Rancho del Zocalo has a lovely seating area and it is nice to sit there, especially at night, but the food is just plain bad. And, if you're not from California, I don't want you thinking this is the way Mexican food tastes in California. The same goes for Cocina Cucamonga Mexican Grill in the Pacific Wharf Area of California Adventure (minus the beautiful seating area). I don't know why people think fajita style Mexican food is a good idea for high volume dining...but, it isn't. Avoid, avoid, avoid!
• Coffee: If you like coffee, go to the Market House on Main Street. Keep your receipt and you get coffee all day long. And, believe me, a friend of mine kept going back all day long and they honor it. But, beware...nobody likes an overcaffeinated queen!
• Water: If you need water, but don't want to buy it, go to First Aid near the Photo Supply store on Main Street. They have cold filtered water in their water fountain. You can bring a water bottle and fill it up all day long if you want.
• Attractions To Avoid: Honestly, the only thing that drives me crazy is Innoventions in Tomorrowland. You can find yourself sucking up a lot of time in there and then coming out feeling empty. Plus, they now force you to go through the House of Tomorrow first where you learn that the future offers flatscreen televisions, computers that can ID you with your fingerprint and music that plays on your computer. Can we say "House of Been There, Done That?" And, Asimo, while I find this endearing little robot fascinating, is only good for one sitting before you realize you've just watched a taping of Small Wonder. I'd only go here if you have nothing else to do or when the lines are just too long.
• Parades And Other Spectacles: In Disneyland, they have a new "parade" call "Celebrate! A Street Party!" Although, it's not really a parade, but something that stops at key points and then they have a show. It's fabulous, especially if you're at a stop without kids and they call you out to the conga line during the show. If I can make a recommendation, pick a day you're going to watch the parade and then invest the time to sit down for a couple of hours to reserve space. I would recommend any place on the Disneyland Emporium side of Main Street between the Elias Disney widow (closer to the Emporium) and the Penny Arcade. Another good place to watch the parade is in the "It's A Small World" promenade. If you watch the first show, go on the side that runs along the hedges near Storybook Canals as you will get more shade and better pictures because the sun isn't shining in your face. Also, if you have the chance, get in front of the castle for the fireworks at 9:25 each night. It's truly magical to watch it in front of the castle and they project all kinds of stuff choreographed to the music. You can probably get to Central Plaza around 8:30 and still get in front of the castle. People will be sitting at first, but, mill around and at 9:10, cast members will force everybody to stand up and you'll be able to get in. At California Adventure, they have the "Pixar Play Parade" which is a lot of fun. I realize that I'm giving up my secret place, but what are the chances of us all ending up there at the same time? Anwyay, there is a ledge near Blue Sky Cellar near the winery across from "It's A Bug's Land." If you get there about an hour early, you should be able to sit up there and you get view of the parade and be able to sit.
• Shopping: As you know, we gays love to shop and there's no better place to do it than Disneyland! I'm a little sad that the Disneyland Emporium is no longer the last stop to get your official Disneyland merchandise before leaving the park. But, at the same time, as the parks have become more and more crowded, it's nice to know you can go elsewhere as the Emporium, unfortunately, wasn't built for that many people. I would highly recommend that if you are going to buy anything in the park and don't want to carry big packages around, just wait until after you leave the park and go to World of Disney in Downtown Disney. Not only do they have pretty much everything you can find in Disneyland and California Adventure at that store, but there's more room to move there. But, if you're like me, you can't resist the impulse buy and you're going to shop, shop, shop! If you do shop in the park, you can actually check your purchases at different stores throughout Disneyland and California Adventure. In Disneyland, you can drop your stuff off at the Newsstand at the Main Entrance, Pioneer Mercantile in Frontierland, or Star Trader in Tomorrowland. At California Adventure, you can leave your stuff at Engine Ears Toys near the information booth near Sunshine Plaza.
• Pin Collecting and Trading: I don't know how I got sucked into this little hobby, but I did. Not so much the trading, but the collecting of pins. I'm always picking them up nowadays and I tend to buy one to represent every trip I make to Disneyland. I've found the best places to buy pins at the parks are Westward Ho Trading Company in Frontierland, Little Green Men Store Command in Tomorrowland, and P.T. Flea Market at "It's A Bug's Land" in California Adventure. You can also get pins at World of Disney in Downtown Disney. But, the best place is the Pin Trader Store close to the Monorail station in Downtown Disney. You can pretty much find anything there. Now, like I said, I haven't actually done any trading (I'm sure it's only a matter of time), but I do know that they have a place set up right next to Westward Ho in Frontierland where people bring their big pin bags and trade their wares. It's a cute idea and I can't resist asking if I can browse their pins.

I Didn't Know That! 

Things to keep an eye out for or things to do that nobody really talks about

• Tinder Ride On The Disneyland Railroad: Did you know you could ride with the conductor of the train? You can actually ask to sign up to ride the "tinder ride" and ride in a seat right behind the conductor and the fire controller. We really enjoyed our ride on the "tinder ride" and got lots of good tidbits about the park from both of them. So, how do you sign up? Go to the Train Station at the Disneyland entrance and ask one of the people at the entrance that you'd like to ride the "tinder ride." Just to warn you, though...sometimes, the tinder ride is not operational that day. Also, I recommend going earlier in the day to sign up because sometimes there's a list.
• Wheel House On The Mark Twain Riverboat: Like the tinder ride on the Disneyland Railroad, you can also ride with the pilot on the Mark Twain. It's a great experience because, not only do you get to chat with the pilot and see a section of the boat that people don't normally have access to, but you get to blow the whistle and get a fabulous view of the park. To ride in the wheel house, get to the Mark Twain dock earlier than everybody else does. Ask one of the people working the dock that you'd like to ride in the wheel house and if they could kindly ask the captain if it's possible (since it's at the captain's discrection). If the captain does allow it, you'll be led up to the wheel house and you'll also get a view of the Captain's Quarters where Walt Disney himself was known to nap.
• Things to notice in New Orleans Square: Now, I've been to New Orleans Square hundreds of times (It's, perhaps, my favorite area of the park), but it wasn't until I went on a tour that you can actually see sails from a ship above New Orleans Square. But, you have to be at just the right angle to see them. If you're walking from Frontierland and you pass the Petrified Tree near the Rivers of America and get a bit closer to Pirates of the Caribbean, start looking up toward New Orleans Square. You'll see the sails! Also, look on the buildings for plaques that look like the picture on the left. Walt Disney wanted to give New Orleans Square an authentic feel down to these replicas on fire insurance plaques that were placed on buildings in the French Quarter during the Civil War era. These plaques helped the fire department distinguish what company the building was insured with.
• Things To See On Star Tours: There are several remnants of old Disneyland attractions throughout Star Tours. First, when you enter the part of the queue after walking past the room with C-3PO and R2-D2, you'll see a droid working on an R2-D4 unit. This is actually a stripped down goose left over from America Sings, which moved the majority of its audioanimatronic animals to Splash Mountain. You'll see another one of these stripped down geese when you round the curve and before you head into the boarding area. Also in the room with the R2-D4 scene, look above and you'll see several trays moving along on a hanging track. This hanging track was used in the attraction Adventures Thru Inner Space which was once housed where Star Tours is now. Another nod to Adventures Thru Inner Space is in the film itself. When the ship accidentally makes the wrong turn while exiting the space port and starts to fall, look to the right. When the ship starts evening out, you'll see the old microscope that was used in Adventures Thru Inner Space.
• Max, Buff and Melvyn on The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh: The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh in Critter Country has a nod to the Country Bear Jamboree which used to be housed there. First of all, in order to see it, you have to be in the first row of the bee hive car. Ask the cast member that's seating you if you can sit in the front row. When you're on the ride, you'll see a scene where Winnie the Pooh is stuck in the hole of the Hunny tree. When you see this scene, turn around and look up. You'll see Max, Buff and Melvyn from Country Bear JUamboree still mounted on the wall.
• Wendy, Michael and John Playing In The Nursery: When you exit Peter Pan's Flight in Fantasyland and get out in front of the building. Stop and listen. You can hear Wendy, Michael and John playing in the nursery. Sometimes, it's very hard to hear it. If you come in the evening when the park starts to thin out a bit or if you come early in the morning, you can hear them a bit better.
• Horseshoes in Big Thunder Ranch: When you go to Big Thunder Ranch, head toward Pearl's Cottage (the cabin toward the left). On the left side of the cabin when you enter, you'll see a pile of horseshoes nearby. These, apparently, are all the used horseshoes used by the horses pulling the Horse-Drawn Streetcars on Main Street. Also at Big Thunder Ranch, you'll see old buggies that once went up and down Main Street.
• Hidden Mickey in Catcus Garden Near Big Thunder Mountain: When you exit Big Thunder Mountain railroad, you'll see a cactus garden alongside Big Thunder Mountain. Look toward the fence closer to where the train starts to round the curve. You'll see a cactus shaped in a classic Mickey head.
• 1764: Along the Rivers of America on a wall near the dock for the Rafts to Pirate's Lair is a marker that reads "1764." From what I understand, there were plans to tie together Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion and Tom Sawyer's Island using the legend of the pirate Jean Lafitte (who's name you'll see in various places in Disneyland, including on an anchor along the same walkway and on "Lafitte's Landing" at Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island). This marker was to open into a pathway that would lead into an underground crypt full of treasure and dead pirates. The plan was, however, scrapped and many of the ideas were brought to Dead Man's Grotto at Pirate's Lair. So, this bricked up canal is the only thing left of those plans. 1764 was apparently 200 years after the birth of one of the Imagineers working on it.