Are we teaching children to be grateful and generous OR are we teaching and encouraging our children to respond with, "give to me; I want now" attitudes.

Many of us have experienced a Christmas morning where children tear into packages with such vigor only to toss them aside for another, and another. If it isn't the exact requested item they quickly display their dislike and inform us of our lack of caring or interest for their needs and desires. Dr. Bill Maier, psychologist @ Focus on the Family and father of two, states in December 2006 Focus on the Family newsletter, the following:

Greedy - "In a materialistic, consumer oriented culture, we face a real challenge in teaching thankfulness and contentment to children. They are conditioned to believe they are entitled to everything they want-now! Kids have also come to believe they should always get the biggest and the best."

As parents, we need to cultivate character traits such as thankfulness, generosity and self-sacrifice. Dr. Maier continues to explains: "The Center for a New American Dream reports another disturbing trend know as the nag factor. Its recent surveys found that nearly 60 percent of kids nag their parents for a toy or a privilege even after being given a no. In fact, 10 percent of all 12 and 13-year-olds admit they will beg their parents more than 50 times for products they've seen on TV.

The Parents Television Council is a non-partisan education organization advocating responsible entertainment. It was founded in 1995 to ensure that children are not constantly assaulted by sex, violence and profanity on television and in other media.

Here is what PTC has to say about Grand Theft Auto IV:

"Television is the most powerful medium in the world. It can be a wonderful way to educate, inspire, and entertain America's children. Sadly it's doing the opposite and undermining the positive values parents are trying to instill in their young ones."

Grand Theft Auto IV: Liberty City, rated 'M' (Mature).
"The Grand Theft Auto games include constant graphic violence and sexual situations. In past versions, players could re-enact having sex with a prostitute, beating her bloody, taking her money and running her over with a car; shooting at police officers; and, by using a code easily accessible on many internet sites, having a realistic sexual encounter on screen -- complete with audio commentary. This modification in the 2005 game was not disclosed to the Entertainment Software Ratings Board (ESRB) when they classified the game M, which carried a suggested age of 17 and up for purchase.

"This brutally violent video game must be kept out of the hands of children, and we are calling on all major retailers to reconsider any decisions to sell this game. Since the first version was released in 1997, the Grand Theft Auto series has lowered the bar for graphic and grotesque video game content," said PTC President Tim Winter.

Credit: www.parentstv.org/PTC/news/release/2008/0423.asp

CALLING ALL SQUIDOO MOMS AND DADS...
Ok all moms and dads out in Squidoo world...what could possibly be good about this type of game? There is so much violence in our world today (just watch the news or read the papers), who needs to perpetrate (simulate) such hostility. What possible value can come from playing these games.

If we can be influenced by our peers, the things that happen around us, then I believe with can be influenced, negatively, by violent video games. At minimum, I would think these games could elevate ones anger. Could it not possibly cause us to be less considerate, less tolerate, speak less respectfully to others? How can we be motivated to "build" others up by such feedback? Please know what your children, especially young children, are playing and watching.

Please leave your feedback at the Guest Book.
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American Psychological Association (web site)
Date: April 23, 2000
Contact: Pam Willenz
Public Affairs Office
(202) 336-5707

VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES CAN INCREASE AGGRESSION
May Be More Harmful Than Violent Television and Movies Because of the Interactive Nature of the Games.

"WASHINGTON - Playing violent video games like Doom, Wolfenstein 3D or Mortal Kombat can increase a person's aggressive thoughts, feelings and behavior both in laboratory settings and in actual life, according to two studies appearing in the April issue of the American Psychological Association's (APA) Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Furthermore, violent video games may be more harmful than violent television and movies because they are interactive, very engrossing and require the player to identify with the aggressor, say the researchers."

http://www.apa.org/releases/videogames.html

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* From author Tom Neven.
Look at what Tom writes about David Grossman, a retired Army psychologist.

"Operant Conditioning: A Study of Killing

How did we get to such a state of affairs? David Grossman, a retired Army psychologist, has written extensively about the process that takes immature, untrained teens and turns them into killers. His research, called "killology," is documented in his Pulitzer Prize-nominated book, On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society. Grossman's book describes how the military confronted a unique problem: Not enough of its soldiers were actually shooting their weapons in battle. Studies after the Civil War and World Wars I and II found that a relatively small number of soldiers - as few as 15 percent - actually fired at the enemy. "Obviously, you can't have that situation in war," he says.

The military realized that simply learning to shoot at a round bull's-eye did not condition soldiers to the battlefield reality of sighting on another human being and taking a life. There was a psychological barrier that had to be overcome. "Hardwired into the brains of most healthy members of most species is a response against killing their own kind," Grossman explains. By using human-shaped pop-up targets and other means, the military was able to desensitize soldiers to the act of aiming at a human shape, which increased the firing rate to as high as 90 percent by the Vietnam War.

With the invention of video game technology, the military began to use this equipment to further train its soldiers. The Marine Corps, for example, adapted a version of the popular game Doom to hone Marines' reactions in a combat environment. In many ways, video games, particularly first-person shooting games, exactly mimic the process used by the military. Teens (including the gunmen at Columbine High School) log countless hours with these same games - but without the discipline that comes from military training and, obviously, without any need to develop these skills in the first place.

The psychological process involved in this type of training is called "operant conditioning." Not only is the mind desensitized to a certain level of violence and to the process of sighting on an enemy, but the shooter also develops the muscle memory necessary to become an expert marksman. Grossman cites the example of one school shooter, Michael Carneal, who fired into a group of students at a high school in Paducah, Ky., in 1997.

"The kid had never fired an actual pistol in his life," says Grossman, who was an expert witness at Carneal's trial. The teen stole a .22-caliber pistol from a neighbor's house and practiced with two clips of ammo the previous night. That was the sole extent of his marksmanship training - at least with live ammo. "But he'd been on the simulator for nearly a lifetime," Grossman says. The boy's family had converted their two-car garage into a playroom lined with point-and-shoot arcade games, a genre Grossman calls "murder simulators."

* Tom Neven is an author, editor, and former Marine who served seven years as an M-60 machine gunner and a U.S. embassy guard in Africa and Europe. He covered the first Gulf War for The Marine Corps Gazette, and has written for The Washington Post, Rocky Mountain News, Time-Life, and others. After serving six years as editor of Focus on the Family magazine, he is now senior editor of Focus's Plugged In magazine/Web site. He and his wife live in Colorado Springs.

Dr. Richard Gallager, Child and Adolescent Psychologist at the NYU Child Study Center
Specialty Areas: ADHD, Anxiety, Organizational Skills, Parenting. You will find Dr. Gallager at Visit About Our Kids!

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Clubhouse Jr. Magazine - Ages 4 to 8

Looking for healty entertaining material for your young children? Try clubhouse Jr. Magazine via Focus on the Family. "Faith-filled fun for youngsters. Creative stories, fascinating articles, puzzles, craft ideas and more are packed into each issue of Clubhouse Jr. magazine."

Visit Clubhouse Jr.

This great organization (PHP) allows for the WHOLE family the ability to heal. Age is not a factor. They provide resources and support to the young infant and to those older children who may still experience problems into their 50s and 60s.

PHP has been around for 30 years. It is a nonprofit public agency. It services special needs children and their families. Here are a few of the special needs they provide services for: illness, cancer, accidents, birth defects, neurological conditions, premature birth, learning or physical disabilities, mental health issues, and attention deficit (hyperactivity) disorder.

"Parents are a child's greatest resource. The needs of the child are inseparable from that of the parents. Reinforcing and building upon parental strengths is an unsurpassed means to meet the needs of the child. Parents Helping Parents expands the strengths of families through mutual support."
~ Mary Hudler, California Director of Special Education

1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21, and then let him 'decide for himself'.
4. Avoid the use of the word 'wrong'. It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, and clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silver ware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way, they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are prejudiced against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will most likely have it.

Credit: This was taken from a circular issued by the Houston Police Department (quoted in print).

I truly felt this list was worth sharing with all those who have or will be involved in raising children. Sometimes we must look at what not to do so that we have a better understand of what needs to be done.

Welcome comments! Please visit my Guest Book.

Even good intentions are not always the best approach. Did you see the commercial (mentioned below) on television?

In a televised Public Service Announcement sponsored by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, sibling tennis champions Venus and Serena Williams shared the secrets of their success. According to the champs, their triumphs in tennis would not have been achieved had they used illegal drugs. The punch line was: "The decision is yours. Make the right one."

But, since when is it just a personal decision whether or not to obey the law?

This same skewed message -- that drug use is a matter of personal choice -- is what is taught in most of the school-based drug-prevention programs funded by the federal Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities (SDFSC) Act. (Pub.L. 103-382) This is in spite of the fact that Section 4132 of the SDFSC Act clearly mandates that "Drug prevention programs supported under this part shall convey a clear and consistent message that the illegal use of alcohol and other drugs is wrong and harmful."

Note: More about this article
Visit Kellogg Foundation

I love the Internet. I can sit down with my cup of coffee and go visit anywhere in the world. Also, to me this is an absolute remarkable tool for those who are "shut-in" for whatever reason. BUT, I am a realist and I have seen the DANGERS of the Internet, especially for young, imformative minds.

There are tools to help filter...but you must use them. There are rules that can be set...but you must stick to them. And, finally, there is the SWITCH...remember the one that turns it off? And don't forget the old saying, "monkey see, monkey do".

I am been blessed with a beautiful, smart, granddaughter. I've recently had some quality time with her and watching her grow at 12 thru 15 month, I have been reminded how easily they "imitate" what we and others do. This lens has been an "eye opener" for me as well.

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining
Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined? 'He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in
you. Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them.

And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

'Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.'

NOTE: credit: www.thefamily.com

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WHOSE CHILD IS THIS?

"Whose child is this?" I asked one day

Seeing a little one out at play

"Mine," said the parent with a tender smile

"Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good And each day do the things he should"

"Whose child is this?" I asked again

As the door opened and someone came in

"Mine," said the teacher with the same tender smile

"Mine, to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school"

"Whose child is this?" I ask once more

Just as the little one entered the door

"Ours," said the parent and the teacher as they smiled

And each took the hand of the little child
"Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever."

~~ Author Unknown ~~
Credit: www.bellaonline.com




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Since 1988, this organization has been reporting on the overall educational growth of the child. In 2008, the state reports: Generally poor health and education status of the state's children. If one were to assign a letter grade, they would give such as a C to health insurance, a C- in K-12 education and a D+ in obesity.

"These issues are undermining children's optimal development and putting the state's future at undue risk by dramatically increasing the financial costs and societal problems faced by future generations."

The report continues to state, "The most current and comprehensive set of indicators of California children's health and education status are presented in the report, including:

Only 47% of 3- and 4-year-olds attend preschool;
One in three children is overweight or obese;
Just 65% graduate from high school on time;
37% of children, ages 2-5, did not visit a dentist within the last year;
Fewer than half of families can afford the basics of housing, child care, food,
health insurance and transportation."

FOR MORE INFORMATION, visit www.childrennow.org