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George Lopez Jokes

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George Lopez Humor

George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years?
Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people...
George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!

This is the kind of humor that has made George Lopez famous. It's just so honest. Today's children are so bogged down with entitlement issues that many parents (myself included) wish to ship them off to George Lopez boot camp.

Until that becomes a possibility, here are some quotes for you to add to your parenting repertoire!

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Random Quotes

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Sarah Palin HAS to be Latina: she has a job and her husband don't work. She's gonna be a grandma, and has an infant-she's Latina.

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.

I promise to start listening to your feelings if you promise not to have so MANY of them.

Why you cryin? I barely hit you!

George Lopez... In the News!

Stars Hit The Fairway To Support The Lopez Foundation
By The Lopez Foundation LOS ANGELES, May 30, 2012 -- /PRNewswire/ -- Celebrities golfed for a good cause on Monday, May 7 to benefit The Lopez Foundation at the sold out 5th annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic & Mercedes-Benz Dealer Championship ...
Summer brings fresh new shows
Reality, as usual, is rampant this summer, with George Lopez and Cat Deeley hosting new dating shows and Russell Brand bringing his quirky humor to late-night TV. Then there are the hottest of returns: Vamp drama ?True Blood? takes another bite out of ...
Hot Tix: Silversun Pickups and 3OH!3 at Red Rocks and more
($36.50-$39.95) George Lopez doesn't need to play small clubs, having established himself as a comedy superstar with his long-running sitcom and ill-fated but important late-night talk show. Still, he keeps returning to Denver's Comedy Works to show ...
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More Jokes!

Fountain drink? Eyyyyy why you no say soda estupid?

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Just yesterday you were my little girl on a tricycle. Now you're a young woman in a car, running over a little girl on a tricycle.

If I don't know it, you don't either. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, so neither do you!

Reader Feedback

  • Airinka Apr 19, 2010 @ 3:16 am | delete
    Interesting guy.
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JustBeth

So, I'm the human in the picture (okay, the human not wearing the costume...) and I happen to be a military wife, the mother of two kids. I am a little... more »

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